74. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now.

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I know that there is certainly no mistake or coincidence that the burst of energy I have just received to write, is because it is the exact conversation I was having earlier with a friend. It is the reminder that I needed to hear, the lesson my soul yearned to feel and to celebrate the imperfect glorious mess that I am.

We are often our own worst enemy and as clichés as that may sound it is so true. Why is it that we feel we are only loveable when we are happy and satisfied with the way life is working out for us? Why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves when we are going through the slippery slide of mess, dishevelment and the crazy that is going on in our head?

There are potentially a million reasons why we choose to not love ourselves! It is our childhood, the person that broke our heart, blah blah blah the list can go and on. Sure these can certainly be contributing factors to our self-esteem and worth. Ultimately if we truly had this love for ourselves it wouldn’t matter or we would not have ended up in that situation to begin with.

One of the reasons I believe is that we were never actually taught how to. I don’t recall any teacher standing up in the front of a classroom teaching us self-love and self-worth. Perhaps it is a lesson that is learnt through pain, heartbreak and grief. I am no guru and I don’t have any self-fulfilling prophecies for you. One thing I do know is that the lesson of self-love comes up for me time and time again. Just when I think I have got it, whoosh the universe presents me with a little dash of something and I feel I have been flung back like a rubber band about to be propelled to the dismalness of self-loathing.

So why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves and wait for the perfect scenario to do so. “Well when I have the perfect job, relationship, lover then I will truly be able to love myself” What a croc of crap! The void that we want another to fill is dangerous and when we seek external factors self-love is absent.

Love for self is honouring and worshipping the total glorious, shadow, weird and wacky self. To find the gifts of gratitude beneath from the depths of our murkiness is love. I spent so much of my 41 years appeasing to what I thought would make me more loveable. Now I know that embracing all of me can only attract more of the same in my life. Fortunately or unfortunately the lessons of loving self came at a cost, but it is up to me to choose to love that part as well right here and right now. So you may not have your “shit” together. Who cares? Love all of your right now because you are imperfectly perfect just the way you are. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

65. I am open to new things. I keep my mind active and alive by exploring new frontiers. Such discovery keeps me mentally strong.

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There is a saying that I particularly love “If you have always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got”. For me today the affirmation is a reminder that I am completely where I am meant to be even if it has been totally out of my comfort zone.  I love to learn and in life when we are not in flow it is certainly time to just stop, reflect and explore new avenues and possibilities.

An aspect that keeps coming up for me and one that I continue to learn and explore is our own shadow, that we are the creator of our own story and what has been presented to us. For me this has been one of the most liberating ways to take on situations and to find a new freedom in which I am able to deal with situations and people.  Stubbornness, hanging onto stuff and the need to be right are parts of my life that are of lower vibration for me. For me it is far more beneficial to take personal responsibility for what has occurred and an opportunity to do things differently. It is so easy to blame and to think that you have been wrong done by another. To actually take a step back and reflect why that situation was presented to you to begin with is such an act of freedom and is truly healing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am human and I don’t sit cross legged and hum “om” when shit goes down. In fact I can at times be a complete raving lunatic and I am happy to own it. On the flipside I know that I am also a kind, huge hearted and compassionate being. This is the beauty of our shadows and as they come up so we can address them and flip them around.  So when I reflect on my blog and the reason I write for myself and others it is also about having an open heart and to come from a place of compassion.  I am ALWAYS open to new things especially when life isn’t flowing with ease and grace.  I have had road blocks and have not had the outcomes that I had perceived. It’s taken me a bit to get to this place and not something that I have done on my own. Having a tribe around you that feels and knows you well enough when you are not ok is a gift that is truly priceless and where unconditional love truly resonates.

So right now I am brainstorming and checking out new areas of life that put a fire in my belly. I am exploring opportunities that I had not considered previously and my outlook feels fresh and exciting. What felt like panic and anxiety, I now feel a sense of relief and passion that everything is possible and the universe is filled with infinite possibilities and potential. The process has been interesting and took a whole lot of digging and knowing that there is so much strength to be gained when we expose our vulnerabilities. I am open to new things. I keep my mind active and alive by exploring new frontiers. Such discovery keeps me mentally strong.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxx

 

I am comfortable with my power at work. Because my power comes from my heart, it is always loving, gentle and just.

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Wowsers this topic has come up so much from me in the last week that when I saw it as the affirmation for today I wanted to avoid it because quite frankly, I didn’t want to. But in true universe style I know that the lessons always come to me when I need to learn them for whatever reason. I know that there are no mistakes and when I don’t hear and learn from it is that I meant to the lesson will just keep presenting itself. Nearly every day in the last week my power and what I do has come up. For me it is about recognising my own talents and to trust that I am a powerful woman without cringing when I say it. To know and truly understand that true power does come from your heart.

For me today this affirmation feels very poignant for so many reasons. As I am writing the song that is on the radio is from Wilson Phillips – “Hold On”. The lyrics read;

“Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you

Don’t let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”

 

Oh the irony on how we receive messages some times. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that song over the years and never has it meant more to me than what it does right now.  I truly love the way the universe works and believe me it is very persistent and messages can be delivered to you in so many ways. Considering the amount of conversations that I have had about this very topic this week I know that it is an absolute confirmation about stepping into what I already know. It is about standing in my own power that is straight from the heart and is always loving, gentle and just. Right now I feel like getting that tattoo tattooed on my forehead so I can never ever forgot what it means to me. No more playing small, no more being so bloody afraid of my own power to step up and say yes to success.

It truly amazes me as humans just how much we like to complicate our own journey and path. The universe generally sets out a clear path for us to follow. Being the intricate and analytical beings that we sometimes tend to create these ginormous blocks. We then have to navigate our way around all the challenges we have just created for ourselves. Such a disservice and what a headF*&K! I guess as cliché as it sounds it is all a part of the journey but such a long and hard road we make it for ourselves. I get that we learn what we have to at the perfect time but if you are reading this right now and contemplating about stepping up, take it from me this is a sign to know that you are perfect just the way you are. This has been an awesome lesson for me and I am grateful for all it has taught me along the way, but really it did take a while for the penny to drop. For the angels that presented this week to teach me the lesson, thank you from my heart to yours.  I am comfortable with my power at work. Because my power comes from my heart, it is always loving, gentle and just. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxoo

I surrender, I trust that I am divinely guided and ALWAYS provided for.

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I have been in Cambodia for almost a week now. There is something majestic about this place and the life’s lessons that it always continues to offer me. There is always more to learn and the amount of gratitude continues to overwhelm me.  For me it is not only about being of service but also a time to reflect on my own life and to recognise my next steps, my future leaps of faith.  I have found it quite funny that I am unable to locate the affirmation quotes that I usually write from. I have all my stuff in a bedroom and I know that they are here but I can’t find them Surprise Surprise, the universe is forcing me to step up and write my own.

I have decided to focus about trust and surrender in a country that is filled with some much poverty and disadvantage. The resilience that the people of Cambodia are able to muster considering their life and what little they have never ceases to amaze me. Their smiles are always so generous and their gratitude so humble. I am working on a project which is called “The Dump Project”   Some families and children literally live on the “dump”. It is here that they collect rubbish to make a living and sometimes find the only food that they are able to salvage for their families to eat. To fully comprehend what this means is unimaginable to me as there has never been a day in my life where I have not had access to food and clean water. It is such a luxury that we take for granted in our everyday lives.

So for now what I know I can do is offer my time and a whole lot of love, gratitude and compassion to build a playground for children who have not had access to one before. It sounds so trivial yet so bloody exciting to see the faces of the children as they test run the equipment. It is now my fourth visit to Cambodia and all I do know is how right it feels to be here. The sense of familiarity and knowing that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be overwhelms to a place of pure connection and divine guidance.

It has allowed me to understand that the time that I spend worrying and doing my head in about life is so futile and draining. There is so much more the world needs than my perceived meek problems. It is so minimal in comparison to what I have been witness to in just the last week, let alone what is endured here every other day. What is real are some of the villages that we do visit, women have been known to use rocks and sticks to stop their menstrual bleeding. The injustice hurts my heart. Sure there are elements that are connected to lack of money but there is so much more. If we all raised our awareness about justice and compassion peace can prevail for ALL of humanity. I surrender, I trust that I am divinely guided and ALWAYS provided for.Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With love

Sonia

xoxoxo

Challenges are opportunities for me to grow. The more I learn, the more equipped I am to handle whatever situations come up.

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Almost two years ago to the very date I sat in the same place that I am sitting right now. I am in Kuala Lumpur International Airport waiting for a connecting flight to Siem Reap Cambodia. A place that I travelled to as a participant of a . I remember at the time I almost didn’t go for a myriad of reasons. I had just separated after a 7 year relationship. I was recovering from a sinus nose operation, I was living with my folks and I had just enough money to get a plane ticket and pay for the trip that would change my life in so many ways. Ways that at the time I could not have fathomed to even begin to comprehend. So as I write my affirmation I feel amazingly grateful right now for ALL the challenges in my life as they have led me exactly to where I am right now. I really LOVE my life!

What the last two years have especially taught me is how to live loving. The lessons have been profound and the most valuable would have to be the never ending lesson of loving myself. Not only to learn to love myself but especially how to love with compassion for others. I am not necessarily talking about friends and family, for most of the time they are easy peezy to love. Rather what I am embracing is that I learn to love and accept each part of me and with that I have more love and compassion for the rest of humanity. Sounds pretty simple I reckon but I can tell you right now each hurdle or challenge that presents generally has a theme of a lack of love, insecurity or ego having a play. For when I love and truly love ALL aspects of who I am then the rest just follows.

People often ask me why I keep going back to Cambodia. There are no real words to describe other than the feeling of “home” that it represents for me. The simplicity and gratitude of what life has to offer overwhelms me with such generosity and magic. More importantly it is about a connection to know that we are all the same and that every living person has the right to justice, equality and peace. My heart over pours with emotion as I feel into the Cambodian people, for the injustice of country that is filled with so many things but above all gratitude and compassion.

What I do know that with all the challenges that last two years have presented me they have certainly created a pretty awesome version of who I am right now. I could never have foreseen what the potential of “the break up” could have been, but two years on and life is more exciting than what I have ever known. Far out what amazing lessons I have learnt! It was never an ending it was simply a wondrous new beginning. When you believe and shine your light magic happens. Challenges are opportunities for me to grow. The more I learn, the more equipped I am to handle whatever situations come up. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE love

Sonia

xxx

41. I willingly release the need for struggle and suffering. I deserve to have a fulfilling life and I accept it now.

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I am so grateful for the affirmation today and allowing me to hear exactly what I needed at the perfect time. I have had way too many thoughts and worries going on in my head lately and quite frankly I don’t like the amount of space that I am consuming on energy that has no value and stifles my creativity. I attended a funeral today. I actually took myself out of my heart space and focused on everything but the pain on my friend.  It may sound selfish and it some aspects it may be but for me right now I know what my limitations and delving into her pain will not serve me. It doesn’t mean that I am not sending her love nor that I am not sad or sorry for her but instead I am practising compassion with detachment and applying what I know how elsewhere.

I have felt like I have been struggling of late, life has felt sad but there have been many moments of blessings and gratitude and for these I am grateful. I appreciate the contrast and make sure that I am looking after myself. So today after the funeral today my energy was heavy and drained. Tonight I went to my aunt’s home for dinner and spent time with my crazy cousins and filled myself back up with love. It is all about the contrast and allowing receiving when I am vulnerable. My aunt’s home is so giving and I am very blessed

So when I reflect on the message for today it is a strong reminder to give up my worries and concerns about the future and to not feel anxious about what may or may not be. What I do know is that my focus on the next chapter is one that is filled with excitement and new opportunities rather than worrying about where to next. I have complete faith and trust that the universe will provide. Sure I have to put myself out there but the risk far outweighs being stagnant or not growing from my experiences. In the end they are all just “stories” and it depends on how we perceive them that is the difference. I can choose to look at this time of my life as uncertainty and worry or I could give up the struggle and say “hey universe I am so ready to receive with open arms for the next exciting miraculous adventure that you have ready for me”

The most prominent in the message for today are the words “I deserve”. This was a lesson that took me a while to know and understand but one of the greatest gifts I feel you can ever give yourself. I totes know now that I deserve to have a fulfilling life and I am so grateful to my writing and the words of Louise Hay that have reminded me of this lesson. We are always learning and imperfectly perfect. I willingly release the need for struggle and suffering. I deserve to have a fulfilling life and I accept it now. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow you day.

With love

Sonia

xoxox

37. I focus on being positive because the thoughts I think and the words I speak create my experiences.

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I reckon I have a pretty good idea on how this affirmation works for me; after all I spent a whole year writing each day about finding a positive in each situation that was presented to me. For me this was one of the biggest achievements that I have been able to accomplish and what I could have potentially perceived as the worst year of my life ended up being one of the best.

I can manage to turn a situation around pretty quickly these days and can truly understand and appreciate that all happens exactly the way it is meant to. What I am really aware of is my self-talk. For example I saw a picture of myself last night and the first thing that I commented on was that it looked like I had a food baby. In that moment I didn’t stop and consider that a beautiful family picture had also been taken, instead it was about the food baby that I had perceived. Interestingly enough today I felt blah. My body felt heavy and I didn’t feel great about myself. Call it a coincidence, call it whatever you want, what I do know is that the proof is in the pudding. It is not about judging my thoughts, rather acknowledging how much our thoughts affect the way that we feel. (by the way I quite possibly did have a food baby because I ate the best dinner and lots of it!)

It doesn’t mean that we have to be in a constant state of happy when we are not, instead being mindful of what our thoughts and words are. When we are mindful and completely in the moment it allows us to be in gratitude for where we are in that particular moment. It is about love in action for each and every person and soul that exists, because there is a bit of us in each of us.

There may be a slight uproar stir as you digest that there is a little of us in each of us. I am not a murderer, nor do I solicit violent acts, so how could this possibly be? To the teenage in Melbourne that had planned to bomb and kill people, how do we support love and action in these circumstances? The 17 year old boy at some stage of his life has stumbled in the face of acceptance (one can assume). We can only imagine that when a young person is looking towards a group of violent acts that there is pain, anger that needs to be addressed. So in some point of your life there surely would have been pain or anger? Ok so you didn’t plan on bombing a group of people but the emotion existed. So all I am saying is that rather than think and speak about the possible destruction how about giving compassion with detachment a go. You don’t have to agree with what is happening and nor do you have to condone it but you can send compassion and love to the situation and pray for a far better outcome than the one we are currently in. I focus on being positive because the thoughts I think and the words I speak create my experiences. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

 

29. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed.

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Far out I have struggled to be positive during this time of grief and perfectly so. My patience is limited and I find myself not being able to comprehend everyday nuances from people. My compassion for others right now seems to diminish at any given moment. There are times when my answer to what somebody has said is “are you f*KN serious u f**kstick!” but I understand that it is my stuff. I don’t respond as his is no longer how I choose to deal with my life. That is not to say that what another person has said is not completely ridiculous. It is simply not my place to judge rather to come from a place of compassion and recognise that this is their journey. I have been able to feel that there is pain, anger, sadness and grief. Some days I want to stuff it down with wine, food and ciggies but I know that it will just be there the next day. So for now I live hour by hour day by day and honour what is going on for me.

I find that there are people and situations that at this time I cannot be around. I am learning so much through this process and for now this is a time of rest, growth, learning and really listening to what is going on for me.  What I have found is those that are happy to be by my side during this time and just be. This is the value of unconditional love and I am so grateful and blessed for the space that some are willing to hold for me.  There are some people that I have hardly heard from or others that choose not to connect at this time and that is perfectly OK as well. It is almost like an apocalypse of a clean out of what is meant to be. I am cool with that. I know that what was once was will never be and right now that feels refreshing.

I stood in my kitchen earlier and was feeling miserably blah. There was a John Farnham song on the radio “hold me in your arms”. I got goose bumps and felt emotional and gave myself a hug. I also heard the universe whisper softly “I got your back” and I know it has.  Nobody or nothing can make me feel better, what is most important is how I manage each and every day and keep perspective on what is important and on purpose for me. So I went for a run (as much as I didn’t want to), felt blessed that I saw an old work mate that gave me the best hug, did some backing and got in touch with what was real. It doesn’t mean that I will never have a shitty day. Instead it creates more determination and focus on being of service, creating change and knowing that the universe works with me when I am coming from source and not my ego. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

28. I am a Divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives.

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When I looked at the affirmation for today I wanted to flick it to tomorrow (and I did). The affirmation for tomorrow is about loving my job. I sat and pondered. I thought I could take the easy road, stay in my comfort zone or push myself to write today. It would be easy peasy lemon squeezy to write about loving my job because I simply do. As I sit here and think about the affirmation for today, I want to laugh sarcastically at myself and then I want to say to the universe, really??? I know that writing for me is one of the best creative outlets that I have and it grounds me to being real.

I was just speaking to my sisters a little earlier and we were speaking about my aunt and uncle that have just lost their dear daughter to suicide. It is almost coming up to three weeks now since she decided to leave our earthly realm and the sadness is overwhelming. There are times when I feel like I am gasping for air at the harsh reality that now lies before us. There are so many things that run through my head at any one given time and my emotions are all over the place. One day I want to change the world and the next I want to hide under the doona and pretend that it hasn’t happened. I am just rolling with it and honouring what it is that is going on for me.

So when I read the affirmation for today I thought about “stuff”. Sure I could have written about what I have done in the past. It would have been easy, but easy and comfort zone doesn’t get me anywhere. What I am aware of is the language that I am using. My aunt also passed away earlier this year and I caught myself saying today “what a shitty year it has already been”  In less than three months we have lost two family members but rather than saying it has been shitty I can choose to say that there has been death and sadness but so much more in between. Sure it has been tough but the focus of my intentions is what is important.

For my aunt, uncle and cousins I have no answers or saving grace for them. The pain that they now live with may be forever but I have to believe that there is a divine reason for all this happening. How do I be a divine conduit? The only answer I have is to be authentic and transparent. To always come from a place of love and compassion and to be still with them in moments when they cannot for themselves. Death has a way of allowing you to stop, breathe and really evaluate what matters most in your life. For me I know that this is an area of my life that I do appreciate and constantly review. Every day is a gift and it is how we choose to spend it that matters most in the end. Already there has been revelations in my life and what may have mattered before does no longer in the best possible way. To find gratitude for the abundance and goodness that I receive each and every day and beyond is the true blessing in life. I am divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

27. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself.

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Life presents us with many challenges.  Some of the challenges are fun and some are ones that change us forever and our lives are never quite the same. It is ridiculously easy to blame other people and situations for “stuff” that happens. Instead of blaming, personal responsibility is the main factor in our lives. Sure we are presented with crap and in those times people situations and events can be more than overwhelming. We can choose to sit in victim mode and not do anything about it or we can create the change that we want to be in the world.

I live in Melbourne and lately there have been some not so nice events that have happened. There have been numerous attacks on vulnerable people and in some situations death. It doesn’t feel nice at all and as a normal reaction people have been going into blame mode. Blame of our justice system and simply blame for whatever. I am not by any means justifying what has been happening or nor do I think that it is OK. What I do know is that being compassionate and of service each and every other day is a way that I now choose to live my life. To make a difference, to create change and to live a life where I do believe and know that peace and harmony exists. If I keep putting out there how “fkt up” the world is all that I will attract is more of the same. Instead what I do is pray that people heal, I send love and I live with a compassionate heart and live with faith that more of the same will not happen.

So many of us go into meltdown, blame or anger when a crisis or tragedy hits home and it is a relatively normal reaction. What is important is that we do not live there. For the innocent 17 year old that was murdered in broad daylight a few kilometres from her home the injustice is heart wrenching. I have read and continue to read the hate towards the attacker and anger towards the justice system.  Peace and harmony begin with us. Are you always kind and loving? Do you treat complete strangers with kindness and respect? Are you of service to humanity? Do you come from a place of love and compassion in all your interactions? Are you authentic and do you live your life with integrity? Do as you feel with the answers. I am not claiming to be perfect; in fact I am happy to own that I am imperfectly perfect. What I do know is that it does not feel right to have an outlet to blame or to throw more of the same into the mix. I make a conscious decision every day to take personal responsibility about what happens in my life and what I attract. Sometimes the lessons are fkn hard and painful but at the very least I own them. So before hurling abuse towards another take a step back and ask yourself to be the change that you want to see in the world. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo