13. No one gets to choose for me. I make my own choices

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I went to a counselling session a few months ago. I was feeling very overwhelmed with life and not being able to see my family. My family is all based in Melbourne and I live on the Gold Coast. I have been living here for over 3 years. What I love most is that I could literally jump on a plane and be there in 2 hours and could do so every 8 weeks or so. I was explaining to the counsellor that I felt like my choice had been taken away. She disagreed. She explained that I did have a choice and that if I needed to get to Melbourne I could. To be perfectly honest she frustrated me with her answer so I didn’t explore what she said any further.

The reality is I can’t get on a plane and see my family when I choose and giving people perspectives in these situations isn’t always helpful as it doesn’t validate what is going on for the person. I have had endless discussion with people about choice especially when it comes to the pandemic that globally we are experiencing. For me it feels that our choices have been stripped from our very eyes and as a collective we are allowing it. Our government now chooses how we celebrate life, death and everything else in between.

I have stopped trying to allow other to understand my viewpoint and it is no longer my business. What I get to choose now is how I feel about certain areas of my life and. I’m tired of the polarity of arguments that is caused by what has been perceived to be either right or wrong instead of humanity rising in unity consciousness. For a long while I had been pouring a lot of energy into prochoice and in the process a massive cull of so called friends. That is OK. I understand that I am not here to be loved by everybody. I am simply here advocating for choice. So what we do get to choose is our thoughts and within that there also has to be a process.

For me right now I have no control or choice about getting to Melbourne. The borders are closed and I am basically not allowed in. Do I need to be positive and happy about it? No I don’t. I’ve listened to personal stories of people only being allowed to spend hours with their loved ones before they pass. Being forced to have the flu vaccination so that can see their parents in care and legislation that requires you to wear a mask even if you are in the middle of nowhere with no one around. So I choose action and in that I choose to connect further to how I can serve humanity.

What is my responsibility? What is my responsibility to my community? I am sure it is not being an angry bird and shouting posts of injustice (Although I have done) For me it is about connection to self, to come from a deeper understanding of who we are and what we are doing on this planet. Choosing what we want our lives to look like and taking action in doing so. If we are not taking the small steps towards ourselves and the community what hope do we have do rise in unity consciousness for the greater good? Whilst the light within is still burning there is always a choice of hope.

2020#connect2createchange#.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoo

12. I create a bubble of ease around me when I travel

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Creating a bubble of ease feels pretty pertinent to me right now. I live on the Gold Coast and for most of the time the energy is light and vibrant. However this is not always the case. A few days ago I visited Centrelink for a client. I was attempting to advocate and was abruptly greeted by a security guard who requested information. I was then asked the same questions only seconds later by a Centrelink staff member. There were no salutations, no smile and no sign of human connection. I was perplexed as to why the same questions needed to occur. I’m not entirely sure how the information that I presented about cold\flu like symptoms or questions about travel could have changed from the front door to the front desk.

By this time my energy felt heightened and there was no bubble of ease. I get it everyone in the world seems to be under huge amounts of stress and government officials are simply trying to follow instructions. What I am curious about is how does the simplicity of connection get lost through translation? Why couldn’t there be a smile? Why couldn’t the questions be asked in a more dignified manner opposed to barking orders? How do we navigate this world right now with ease?

For me my senses are heightened. I become anxious in harsh settings so I am finding new ways to create a bubble of ease when I travel to complete daily work and personal tasks. For my Melbourne family and friends I know this is an area that has become somewhat normal. I am finding our new so called “normal” confronting and somewhat suffocating. The signs that remind us not to stand too close, the arrows on the floors that dictate which way we are meant to be walking and the screens behind each counter that are protecting us from the spread of further infection.

So how do we travel with ease when it seems that as a collective we are somewhat divided? How do we continue to come from a place of love when we can have such opposing views in regards to what is happening in our universe? I am tired of debating what is true to me. It saddens me that I don’t know when I will see my family next. My soul hurts that so many are suffering because of restrictions. It is a cruel and harsh reality that we cannot celebrate life and death in ways that we are accustomed. We are all affected in one way or another but what we do have is compassion, what we do have is spirit and what we do have is a beating heart that reminds us that we are alive. A heart that sings true to the collective response of unity in consciousness and a reminder of being leaders of hope in all that we do.

2020#connect2createchange#.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

#connect2createchange#

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I know that whoever is meant to be reading this will. It is such an exciting time in our lives when we can truly know and feel that we are part of unified consciousness to bring forth the light to this planet. What does this mean to me? 20 years ago after I experienced a vision of a deceased love one. His message was to simply speak my truth. So I did. Weeks later the marriage I was in broke down and I was later hospitalized because life was simply too much. I was admitted for being delusional and presenting with mania.

For the last 20 years it feels that I have been enrolled into the University of Life so that I have come to know and understand my own light and soul purpose in this world. All I know right now is that the world needs more light and healing than ever before. Is this one thing that as a collective we can simply agree on regardless of what we believe? Can we truly see and feel that the light within me is simply the light within you and that we are all connected as one.

We are currently in a global pandemic or so we are being told and I am not sure about you but I am really physically tired of trying to explain to people that something simply feels off. Instead it has turned into a shit storm of governments, vaccinations, masks, dictatorship and the list goes on and on. Where I can find peace is to truly know and understand my purpose. None of us have any idea what is going to happen and to be perfectly honest if we are leaving it up to the current leaders of the world it also doesn’t feel very hopeful. However what does feel hopeful is what we can imagine.

I haven’t always had courage to tell the world that I was hospitalized in a psychiatric ward because of fear of being ridiculed. Instead what I know now is what others think and feel of me is simply none of my business. Who am I? Who are you? Who are we? We are light beings of love having a human experience at this time. What is our role and responsibility to ourselves, our family, and our communities? Who and what are we representing right now? With our governments being in such disarray who will we choose to follow? Or is this simply an unfolding of our current systems crumbling because we need to rebuild? I don’t want things to go back to normal. Our existence prior was nothing short of normal. Consumerism, starvation, homelessness, domestic violence, rising numbers in suicide and our ageing communities suffering in ways that are beyond an explanation. Is this what we want to go back to? Once we can truly feel and know that we are in fact our own shining light for our path then we can we can create the change that we want to be in the world.

2020#connect2createchange#.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

 

6. Today I move forward with confidence & ease.

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I have struggled to blog lately. One of the “rules” that I imposed on myself is that I would write about living with a compassionate heart even on the days when I didn’t want to. This allows me to see another side. It doesn’t allow me to sit in my crap and lay blame, instead it forces me to sit up and take responsibility for my own creation. Otherwise you would simply be reading a blog about how FKT up it has all felt. Entertaining perhaps but I imagine not so useful.

I read the affirmation for today and pondered how exactly do we move forward with confidence and ease? How can I write about this when I don’t feel confident or at ease with all the events that are taking place right now? Then I felt that this was exactly what I had to write about. The last few weeks have been heavy and unnerving to say the least. I haven’t felt very positive about the world and I have struggled to understand the huge polarity in viewpoints.

Towers in Victoria are being locked down and people are now being detained in their own homes without the liberty of even being able to access an outdoor area. Children entering Victorian schools will now have a temperature gun pointed to their third eye prior to entering a classroom. Masks are now mandatory on public transport. Not sure about you but that doesn’t make me feel at ease. What I do know is that I also don’t want to live in fear and I certainly live with hope that this is not our new normal. So how do I move forward with confidence and ease with compassion?

What I have recognised is what I can do and that is to use my voice. To trust that there is a bigger purpose for us all. To know that I just can’t sit back and expect it to happen and that I have to be a part of the solution and not the problem. Whilst I stay in a state of fear and anger there is nothing that I can do for myself or the world. What I do know is that I can keep being light. I have had endless conversations about what is going on in our world right now. There has been a sense of helplessness that there is nothing that we can do.

#connect2createchange# is a project that I have been working on for a while now. It has changed its direction a few times now but the message is always the same. Connection! Without connection to self we simply just exist. If we stay the same so does the rest of world. If we think we can’t do anything then we won’t. I’m not sure about you but I don’t want to have to wait to be locked in my home to exercise the right to be outside. We take action, we speak up, and we become unafraid to seek justice. We move forward with grace and ease.

 

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

6. Today is a great day to visualize, imagine, create and produce.

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For the last week or so we have seen the words #blacklivesmatter# plastered all over social media and of course they absolutely do. We have seen and heard the injustices that are currently being played out and we are appalled and rightly so. However why is it only now that we feel that this has been occurring? I want to profess that I am not an expert this is simply what it feels like for me and what I know to be true, that creates a stir in my soul.

As Australians did we know that this week is reconciliation week? Reconciliation week is a time for all Australians to learn about our shared histories, cultures and achievements and how each of us can contribute to achieving reconciliation in Australia. The very same week a mining company blew up a 46,000 year old cave. The irony is beyond insulting. Did we plaster this all over social media or did we not even know that it was reconciliation week? I have also read some alarming posts that people in Australia have not grown up with racism? Have we been living under a rock?

Do we know and understand that in our very communities Aboriginal people are still not accessing services that they are entitled to because they have been treated so poorly in the past. Did you know that we are still not providing inclusion in the services that we provide for the owners and true custodians of our land? Do you know if your workplace has a Reconciliation Action Plan which is a formal statement of your organisation commitment to reconciliation?

I have worked in the NDIS space for a few years. Aboriginal people are still not accessing services that they are entitled to. A reform as huge as the NDIS was not inclusive and considerate of Aboriginal culture and language which continues to disadvantage our communities. I attend meetings and continue to shake my head in disbelief that as “white fellas” we continue to make the same FK ups time and time again. So before we proclaim that we are not racist, how as individuals are we contributing to the same? The systematic racism is rife!

We have been waiting to get back to “normal”; I don’t want things to go back to normal. I am glad that the world has been shaken up so that perhaps we have a better chance of understanding what responsibility we all have in this world and how we contribute to racism. This isn’t about shaming or making something right and wrong nor is it about black lives in America or Aboriginal lives in Australia. For me it is about let’s make a stance all the time. Let’s unite at any opportunity we have. Let us be educated about what is going on right under our very noses, in our classrooms, in our workplaces and in our everyday conversations so that justice can be served. Today is a great day to visualize, imagine, create and produce.

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

5. My neighbourhood is a joy to live in. As neighbours, we are all friendly, concerned for each other’s welfare.

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I had to laugh when I read the affirmation for today! If you had of heard me only a few weeks ago you would I heard that I was being anything but friendly to my neighbour. For the last two years I have lived in a complex when pretty much from Day 1 there was a complaint. Apparently body corporate bi laws is something I am not good at adhering to. No hanging clothes at the front of the home, no bikes to be displayed and definitely no BBQ’s! To say that this has consumed huge amounts of energy is an understatement. To say that I have learnt so much about myself and others through this process has been huge.

What I have learnt most is about what my soul is am willing and not willing to accept. The process has been fascinating to say the least. The core of the issues may have been about bikes and bbq’s but the true essence of the lesson is community and connection or lack thereof. For me it was about an unwillingness to communicate, lack of integrity, misuse of power and the inability to have a conversation.

What I am also finding through this process is that the actions of others allow me to learn more about myself. I have discovered that what I feel is fair and just is not the same as the next person. It is my job to let others see a different side? Do I really want my home to be in a place where for most of the time I don’t feel supported or that my neighbours don’t have my back? If this is how we do one thing then is not how we do everything? Or is it as simple as where I am no longer works for me. I know now more than ever it is time to move. I no longer have an interest in trying to wake people up to what I perceive as an injustice. If someone is happy to live in a world where injustice occurs and allows more of the same what is it that I am actually fighting for? For it is the disservice that I am doing to myself that is doing way more harm than good.

So when I summarise the affirmation for today for me it is about what I am choosing to surround myself with. To know that every human being is on their own journey and I do not have the right to be in judgment of where they are at. What I can do is put my energy into what I do desire and want not only for myself but for humanity. To live in a neighbourhood that is filled with joy with ALL of my neighbours being friendly and concerned for each other’s welfare. Blessed be and so it is. Thank you.

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

 

 

4. No person, place or thing has any power over me; I am the only thinker in my mind.

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Well well well isn’t this an appropriate affirmation for right about now. Where do we begin with the amount of “things” that are consuming our thoughts? What I do know is that I have my breath. Four breaths in, hold for 4 breaths and breathe out for 4. Easy to remember 444 and a reminder that angels are near. What I do know is that I am now hearing more of the kindness and miracles instead of the fear and panic. I am choosing to be very intentional about what is consuming my thoughts.

If I am feeling overwhelmed I redirect myself to the present. I am finding activities that allow me to get out of my head and back into my heart. I have found a global prayer to give out a new intention to the world. I am accepting that there is a new way. We may not know which way right now but what we do know is that there is a lot of love and there is always hope. I am limiting the amount of time that I watch\listen to the news. I am choosing to be really kind to myself and taking notice of what my mind, body and soul needs. I am honouring all of my feelings and allowing myself to cry when I need to. There is a lot of heaviness and we are feeling it as a collective. So for me it is about finding ways to release what I need to. I am finding that singing “we are the world” simply allows me to feel, sometimes happy, sometimes sad but with a lot of faith and love for humanity. To know that there is a bigger picture in all of it and holding onto that vison opposed to one soaked in panic and fear.

As I was walking into my home this evening a butterfly greeted me, and my partner letting me know there was a dragon fly behind me. It is the simplicity of this new world that now brings so much in what we once may have forgotten. A few days ago I was connecting with my fairy cards in nature and received the message “music”. Soon after a beautiful soul appeared and started sharing her music with the park. It instantly sang to my soul and reminded me that magic happens. Her name happened to be Isabella who shares the same name as my niece. They both play the ukulele and heal others with their music. During these moments I know that as a collective we are so supported and connected.

We have the choice to take back our power from any person, place or thing. I am sure we know all know what the “thing” is. We can succumb to the fear and panic or we can choose to be in our power of the miracles we are witnessing, our connection to mother earth, kindness and above all else LOVE. No person, place or thing has any power over me; I am the only thinker in my mind. We’ve got this! Lead with love and light.

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

3. I release and let go. I gladly give away all that I no longer need

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I don’t feel that I need to preface this blog with any kind of reminder of what is going in our world. We know it; we feel it and at times not being able to process what is unfolding. I know for me it comes in waves, there is a rise of uncertainty that surges through my body so I just allow it to be and breathe. There is energy that is happening around us that we haven’t felt before and our bodies need to adjust to what is going on. I have allowed myself to feel what I need to and my “help” support drops, clearing spray and essential oils have become my new best friends. I am being reminded of how calming nature is. I am feeling a deeper appreciation of butterflies, dragonflies and feathers appearing. The scents of nature, the fairies playground and the songs of the birds chirping reminding us that we simply need to stop feel and listen. A birthing of the new that earth needs right now.

I knew that I had to write when I saw the quote. What came up for me when I started to feel into it was where the fk do I start with what I need to let go? What mattered only a week ago has no significance now. What matters now is so much more expansive that what we can imagine. To the empty shelves of food, the noise of social media and when our norm is social distancing and hand sanitizer I truly have become overwhelmed with what I gladly give away. It feels like there is so much to process at any given time. I know that being present in this moment means so much more to me than what it ever has. To be reminded of what is real and to truly see life now from a lighter, simpler, more loving and kinder world that simply needed to come forth.

I miss my family now more than ever but it has also allowed me feel and know that there is a deeper understanding of love and connection. That as a collective family we need to be supporting humanity every other day in any which we can. The lessons are happening thick and fast and it feels like we are moving on from one thing to the next all whilst quietly knowing that it is going to be OK.

There are dolphins swimming in the canals in Venice and mother earth absolutely loves the relief. Our soul can feel it. We are coming home back to us. So what I do know is that I gladly give away what I no longer need and that is fear and anxiety. To ensure that I take the time to breathe to come back to what I know. To have those soul connections no matter where I am for we are all truly connected. To know that it is time for all of us to step up to humanity, to be reminded that we are one, we are light.

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

3. My thoughts are my best friends. My inner dialogue is kind and loving.

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My thoughts have been far from my best friends today. I woke up annoyed and angry and I can’t say there was any kind and loving dialogue going on. Did I wave a magic wand and automatically think kind and loving thoughts? No not really. Instead I decided to do something constructive with my churning thoughts of anger and clean the house instead. I listened to music, did some laundry and allowed whatever it was that I was feeling to dissipate. It was at this point that I actually did notice the affirmation for today and felt the urge to write. It is pretty simple and easy to have kind and loving dialogue when life is flowing, but there are times that it doesn’t. How do we make our thoughts best friends during this time? I don’t feel it is a simple switch because there is often a process, one that allows you to understand where that feeling came from. The reason you got there or the trigger that sent you there to begin with. It is easy to blame this or that. What I do know is that this vibration only keeps us small and doesn’t allow expansion or growth and we simply stay the same. Sometimes our not so loving and kind thoughts allow us to explore. They can bring us to a point of change or release what no longer serves us. For a long time I believed being angry wasn’t constructive. I also know that it can often be disguised with a myriad of others feelings that perhaps haven’t had the opportunity to present. When we are not in tune with ourselves we don’t have the opportunity to deal with them as they present. So at times when we are triggered the easiest reaction can often be anger and annoyance. I am great at it at times; in fact I am sure if there was an award for it today I would have received it. For me I am still processing for now. Choosing not to sit and dwell in the company of anger and actually allow it to move through my body was something that I could do. Writing is a great tool to get me out of my head and back into my heart. Cleaning and cooking also works, at times and at least at the end of the day I have dinner, lunch for work and brownies baking in the oven. Were my thoughts kind and loving through the process? Not entirely. We can only do what we can at any given time. Even with the biggest toolkit we can still be reminded of the simplicity of just being present in each moment. To simply love what comes up for you at any given time for it is an opportunity to grow. #2020#CREATE#connect2createchange# With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way. HUGE LOVE Sonia xxo

2. I release all guilt and emotional hurt. I am free.

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I caught up with a friend while I was in Melbourne last week. Her brother passed away last year and her life has been turned upside down inside out in a way that she never imagined. We all deal with life differently. For now she is doing the best that she can with the challenges that she is experiencing. It is easy to be positive when life is going the way we would like it to be. But what about when life takes twists and turns and we are left in a place that we have never known before. Yes we have been told that every painful ending turns into a wonderful beginning but there is a lot of stuff that needs to happen before we get there. My friend and I chatted. We didn’t laugh and reminisce like we usually have; instead we sat in a place of our friendship that we have never been before. It was about being raw, vulnerable, and in an authentic space of pain and grief.

Would I have dared say to release your guilt and emotional hurt, you will be free. Not in a heartbeat. She is nowhere near ready to move on from the place that she is in and who am I to tell her otherwise. What we did laugh about was all the advice that she has been given to supposedly “move on” from where she is at. For now she is where she needs to be for her and her growth. That isn’t to say that it isn’t heart wrenching to see my once full of life, funny, animated friend in a way that I haven’t seen her before. What I do know is that I can simply be there and hold a space for her when and if she needs. I can’t take any of it away for her and a positive affirmation certainly isn’t going to fix anything.

So why am I choosing to write about positive affirmations about something that doesn’t feel positive at all. What I find to be true and real is the grace of how we deal with what is presented to us in life. How we overcome the obstacles that seem way too high at the time? Are we still kind and caring towards others? Or are we an angry asshole? It is all good and well to have positive affirmations floating around and sure I don’t disagree that a positive mindset is paramount to our lives. What I am most interested in is what happens when we are in the pits of our dismay, how do we respond to the world with the tools that we have? If there is no awareness to self or personal responsibility this process increasingly becomes more difficult and our “stuff” comes out in ways that is not healthy to self or those around us. So be and do what you need for you at the time and above all be kind. #2020#CREATE#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo