18. Home is not a place it is a feeling

22546936_835102173323138_1648187247_o

 

I have been living on the Gold Coast for just over three months.  It has been a plethora of emotions that I seem to untangle and construct on a sometimes daily basis. I love being so close to the ocean. Knowing that I can walk 5 minutes to be so close to the roaring waves brings so much joy to my heart. On the flip side I miss my family, friends and the familiarity that I know.  Some days are harder than others. Being away from all that I know has also forced to go deeper within myself and to feel truly at home no matter where I am. It has taught me to dig to depths that I haven’t visited before and grow to a different sense of self.

When I am being challenged in life I also take it as an opportunity to learn and understand what it means for me. It doesn’t mean that I have to analyse the crap out of it and do my own head in. instead I am able to feel what it is that is going on for me and allow myself to take responsibility for growth and understanding. Too often in life when we are presented with “stuff” that is painful or difficult to digest we shove it down or distract ourselves with whatever else. To feel pain is uncomfortable and we do anything possible to avoid it. We learn so much from a place of pain and for me it is where growth really happens if we allow it.

It is relatively easy for us to live in our heads, it is comfortable and it is safe up there, quite frankly it gives me a headache. Living from our hearts and being connected is love living. So when I connect to the place of feeling of home at times it is what I know. What I have come to understand is that feeling of home is living from your heart which may not always be easy to do. It can feel far more comfortable to lash out, blame and avoid. For me it is a daily practise and reminder of what life essentially is.  There will always be situations and interactions that we are presented with. It has the potential to take us away from living love if this is what we allow. Or we can choose to sit in our pain, hurt, grief or whatever uncomfortable feeling we are shown and grow from the experience.

So when I connect to home, I feel what it is like to be surrounded by my mad, crazy, loud and fun loving family. They are what I have known for the last 43 years, I miss them like crazy at times and yearn for the comfort that I know so well. The other side of that is remaining connected to who I am and feeling at home in my heart no matter where I am. Being pushed out of my comfort zone also take me to a place of discovery and this is where the magic truly happens. Home is not a place, it is a feeling. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

 

 

17. We accept the love we think we deserve – Stephen Chbosky

21270925_888389084644010_5093470574274513293_n

 

Love comes to us in various ways. For me the most important kind of love is the love and relationship that I have with myself. It hasn’t always been a great relationship but as time passes and lessons are learnt my love for self deepens to a different space and time.  I was listening to a pod cast the other day by Matt Kahn (awesome stuff by the way). He was talking about relationships, twin flames and soul mates. I was travelling back home from Brisbane to the Gold Coast on the train. I had just attended a Suicide Prevention Forum and was pondering life (as you do). It was a heavy day and one that left me feeling drained but somewhat hopeful about the difference that we all need to be making in the world. As I watched the world go his words reverberated. “At the first sign of abuse the soul contract is over”

His words jolted me out of what I was feeling and I realised how many times I had so easily accepted abuse in my life. When I speak of abuse it doesn’t necessarily mean the most obvious kinds. Abuse can come in many ways and sometimes it appears in the most subdued ways. I thought about the endless time especially in relationships when I allowed this to happen. Not the most pleasant of memories but ones that have allowed me to grow and learn. We can certainly go into drama and stories of who did what and where but I refuse to give any more of my precious air time. Instead I can reflect on the lesson of “we accept the love we think we deserve”. I am deserving of open communication, trust, loyalty, time and respect. So if that is not presented it is time for the soul contract to be over. The lesson is so clear. I can blame or I can simply know that the contract is over for my highest good.

Reflection is paramount to any given situation. I have learnt from experience to walk away and to understand what role that I had to play in any given situation. Personal responsibility is a lesson that I continue to learn. It doesn’t make what the other person did right or wrong, instead it shifts the power to enable growth and understanding. We only attract what we need to learn. So recently when I was dealt with a situation, I knew that there were aspects that I could only grow from. I could use the opportunity and allow myself growth from a place that I haven’t been before. This is where the magic truly happens.

Sometimes the lessons aren’t always obvious to begin and if we get stuck we can just go around and around in a vicious circle. Not sure about you but I have no interest in giving anyone my time and energy that is not worthy. I have learnt that hurt people, hurt people and we all have our own lives to lead. We learn at the perfect time for own evolvement and growth. It is only my responsibility to self that is important.  We accept the love we think we deserve. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

14. “Don’t just fly, soar

19748710_854214561394796_6629215449478727865_n

 

The other day I came across a magnet with the words “Don’t just fly, soar” I loved what it meant and it really resonated with what I was feeling. I decided to buy it as a little gift for my new home. I got to the counter and paid for my items. Somehow the magnet flicked off the bench and broke. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. I had already paid for it and the lady behind the counter simply just said “oh”. I suppose there wasn’t too much else to say. There really wasn’t too much that I could do other than pick it up and put it in the bin.

As I walked away I couldn’t help but feel somewhat annoyed that I had just broken an item that I had just purchased. I know first world problems! As I caught myself feeling that I was in such a first world problem kind of mind frame I recognised that it was also an opportunity to learn a lesson. I must say that the learning these days seem to appear pretty quickly. I am grateful for the agility of these moments. I could have taken the broken magnet as a sign that perhaps I wasn’t ready to soar. (Such a victim mentality and story) Instead I turned it around and recognised that I didn’t need a magnet to know and recognise my worth. Or it could have just possibly meant a magnet fell and broke. Whatever! It is doesn’t actually matter, rather it is how we choose to spend the moments that matter the most.

How we choose to interpret what is going on around us is what is most poignant in our growth. We choose whatever it is that we want to see. It possibly makes the difference in whether we are just flying or soaring. I can choose to see a broken magnet or I can truly come to know and understand that I have managed to learn a lesson, distinguish growth and fly that little bit higher than I did a few days ago. We are the creator of whatever it is that we choose to do and I am learning this thick and fast these days. I have no distractions, there are no “other” things for me to do and I am in the moments of what matters most.

What this also means is the difference between flying and soaring. I can choose to be in flight or I can soar to places that I have never been before. Trust me I don’t have it all worked out because I am being pushed beyond a zone that I have not known. A place that there is no familiarity or reference points to a life that I once knew. It is fun and exciting? Yes for most of the time it is but there is also the other part that is emotional and overwhelming. We can’t have one without the other. So why would we just fly when we can truly soar to heights of life that hold limitless potential. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxxo

13. F.E.A.R – Face everything and rise.

e8db514ae2e1d7287f4e79c2b27a3189--quotes-about-relationships-relationship-fear-quotes

So I made the big move to Gold Coast Queensland and have been here just under a week.  I felt really compelled to write this morning as it always puts me in a place of grounding and alignment. What came to me was the juxtaposition of what the word fear can actually mean. I don’t recall where I heard that FEAR can also mean “Face everything and rise” and nor does it actually matter. What is important for me right now is how it resonates and where I choose to place my energy.

The Gold Coast is a picture of paradise. I could certainly spend the next 400 or so words about the picturesque settings that I am in total awe of. Instead what feels more important is to appreciate the contrast of what Queensland means to me right now and how I am feeling in the face of fear. Fear is paralysing and stops us from living love and from our hearts. When we live from our head space it is debilitating and sends us into a spiral of chaos and big fat brain drain! Trust me I know.

What I continue to learn is if something isn’t challenging us then we are not learning and evolving. Not sure about you but the aspect of staying the same scares the crap out of me. So I have had to remind myself of that quite a few times this week. The move has been one that I know is absolutely something that I have needed to do on so many levels. That doesn’t mean that “fear” doesn’t turn up on occasions and I can send myself into a little tail spin. After all we are humans first and foremost. We can go about being all spiritual and stuff but what does that mean anyways? I would much rather not go into labels and instead simply be real and raw. We tend to shy away time and time again from feelings of pain and uncomfortableness, but these are the ones that stem the most growth.

So for me right now, I know that this is a time of total transition. Yes there is fear around the unknown. At times there is pure joy and others an emotion I can’t even identify with because I have never quite been here before. I know that I wake up to an ocean of pure bliss and the sounds of waves which sing to my soul. I can also sit at a coffee shop and watch the connections of friends meeting up and miss home. I can choose to live in the fear of the unknown or I can embrace every opportunity that this sea change has to offer and rise. It doesn’t mean that I am not going to go through a range of “stuff” at any given time. What it does teach me is to live love, get outside of my head and create from a space of freedom and compassion. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

12. Being present to every moment of our lives is living in our spirituality. True spirituality is in the living of it, not the talking about it.

19029343_839038659579053_3095253800428569887_n

I am not sure who wrote this quote. It is from a woman’s calendar that has been sitting on my desk. It is for women who “do too much”. The irony is that I glance it at from time to time but don’t absorb what is being written. Today I felt compelled to rip off the pages that had already occurred and of course there was a message that I connected to. In just over a short week I will be moving to Queensland and taking a leap of faith. I have packed up my home and am almost ready to go. Today at work I completed an official handover with clients that I have worked with and now I am tying up final loose ends.

I made a conscious decision to stay present and in the moment. Unfortunately or fortunately this hasn’t always been working for me. (insert lesson here) This morning I got myself into quite a tizz. I have expected that there would be some kind of emotional overload going on. After all I am Italian and can be quite dramatic at times. #justsaying#.  I am moving to a place where I have never lived before. Everything I know will be no longer and I am moving away from my family and friends, my support network and all I have known for such a long time. I am excited and so ready! However I have had moments of meltdown. I am not judging it rather I am just allowing that what needs to come up is being presented so it can be cleared.

This move for me has been based on what my heart feels and listening to the sounds of my soul. The sounds have resonated and the feelings have vibrated through every morsel of my being. The feeling of connectedness is one of freedom and truth.  I am being supported in every decision along the way. Life is about learning and perspective of what is presented to us. There have been challenges and that is perfectly OK. It is what I do with them that matters. I can choose to go into fear or I can rise about it and learn from what is being presented. If I am present in that exact moment, nothing else truly matters. My past is just that and has no power or energy unless I choose to give it ammunition. The choice is completely mine.  So a part of going with the flow is going with what is presented, good, bad or indifferent. We easily connect with feelings of joy. When we are presented with pain, anger or whatever we deem to be uncomfortable we try to shun it away. For me the most important lesson of this experience has been to stay present. Nothing else matters except right now. My past is a gift, simple, full stop, the end. The present is all we truly have and simply being in this moment. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxoox

11. In freedom I take flight.

 

607452642-secretofhappiness1

I just woke up from a little nap. I have been in the Gold Coast for the last few days. I am moving up here in a few weeks for a sea change so I have spent the last few days sorting out where to from here. As I awoke the words ran through my head “In freedom I take flight” Freedom would have to be one of my highest values.  It is right up there in my list of priorities. For such a long time in my life I felt that my freedom was undermined in one way shape or form.  Whether it was in my childhood, relationship or simply by own restrain and limitation.

So much has transpired in the last month since I have made the decision to relocate and with that comes a huge sense of freedom. Sure freedom means being able pick up and do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don’t have children, pets or any huge responsibilities that keep me from being able to do as I please. This is liberating but what I value most is freedom of thoughts and burdens that subconsciously are created in our thought processes.

Our minds are a powerful tool and one that can be used in greatness but can also succumb to the misery of mindless banter. I have reminded myself time and time again especially in the last week or so to remain present, to stay in this moment. To not rush off to the future because fuck knows what is going on over there. At the moment my mind can feel like a bit of a whirlwind with all that is happening and about to transpire. So when I woke up with the quote literally running through my mind “In flight I take freedom” I knew exactly what it meant.  I instantly felt more settled and felt the urge to write about what was going on for me. I generally have a feel when it is that I need to write. More often than not it is when I am in my head and have begun to disconnect from myself and what is going on.

So when I felt into the quote it was absolutely about freedom, but not necessarily in the freedom to do or say as I please. Rather it was about detachment and the ability to stay present in this very moment. To not require any validation about what is wrong rather to seek what I already know from within. I have absolutely no control about what the future will bring and to be perfectly honest nor do I wish to know. Right now all I do know is what is real. When we allow ourselves go down the rabbit hole of endless banter and drama we can simply stay there and create whirlwinds of chaos. Not sure about you but I am not too keen to go there. Been there done that and trust me it is not all that great! So for now it is about day by day. Sure I require some action steps to get me to where I need to go but the art of detachment and to be present is the finest art of freedom one can have.  Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and my magic follow your day,

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

 

23.Radiate an energy of serenity and peace so that have an uplifting effect on those you come in contact with.

14572291_10154566356293908_7503219123445685761_n

For me writing this blog is also about challenging myself to create different ways of thinking, feeling and seeing the world. Of course it would be super easy to sit and write about how I am radiating serenity on a good day when I am full of brightness and spark. This would be super simple and fun somewhat. I work in the area of mental health and in the past I have had my own mental health issues to a point of self-deprecation and destruction. It wasn’t fun. I am sure that there were many suggestions throughout this time where professionals would have indicated ways to “feel better” I was too depressed to care or listen.

That is just it.  When we are in such a debilitated state to care, is when the real works needs to happen. I am in no way suggesting that I am able to provide you with expert or medical advice. What I can simply say is what worked and didn’t work for me. What I am passionate about is changing the way we perceive mental health and that it is not just about the person who is supposedly “suffering” but as a community and collective that we all share the responsibility to be of service to humanity and to each other.

Too often I hear and see the “suffering” that occurs in silence. That people are wearing so many masks to present this way or that way. When deep down all they want to do is yell and scream, but still they carry on in their day, week, month and even years pretending that they are OK. Pretending to a point that they are even unaware of what is real and what is a mask. That by the time it has reached this point, radiating energy of serenity is the furthest thing from reality. The fight and struggle to endure what comes next is indicative of freedom and what you then wish to create. Sure you can go on living in a “zombie” state or whatever you want to call it. Wear as many or as little masks as you like but what is most pertinent is the authenticity of the creation.

I don’t sit here and write this from a perspective that I have it all worked out. Far from it, but what I do know is that I have been able to trust and know myself well enough to have a solid understanding of what works and doesn’t for me.  Courage and resilience are often key components and knowing that you deserve and worthy of all that you are and all that you are meant to be.  I would far prefer to sit with someone who is open and honest about their depressed state than fumble my way through a fake conversation of superficialness. #Justsaying# At the very least the depressed state is real! So be whoever you need to be at the time. Radiate an energy of serenity and peace so that you have an uplifting effect on those you come in contact with. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xooxxo

 

 

16. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

10639553_10152639175091030_347241898942569788_n

I was divinely prompted to make sure that I had a look at the statement for today. I know that there is no such thing as a coincidence and everything falls into place exactly as it is meant to. I took a drive to Wallan this morning which is a good half hour drive from my place. It is freeway driving so I listened to my cd of Dr Wayne Dyer. He spoke of Emerson and his teachings. I then attended a workshop where a friend of mine spoke about goal setting, ambition, action and achieving what it is that you are meant to in this lifetime. I have arrived home and had a look at the statement for today and there are 3 pretty clear signs that I have received. This is what I interpret as signs from the universe.

So for me right now I know that this is about stepping into a direction of going where there is no path and leaving a trail. Sometimes the trail that we know is familiar, warm and cosy but ultimately it also gets pretty boring. Other times what we know is destructive, sabotaging and soul destroying and somehow can be comfortable and we become complacent. Both are equally dangerous. When we become stuck in a place that is not in alignment with our authentic self we are not truly living, rather we are waiting to die.

I am in the process of writing “my story”. Sure there is a part of it that will make an interesting read. I am Italian and dramatic after all! But the other part of it and the real essence of why I want to share what I have learnt is ultimately to connect others to their own pain and growth. Pain can feel like a really scary and an unwelcoming space to be. Trust me the more we avoid it the more it hurts. When we succumb to our feelings and truly connect to our heart there is no other option than to connect and to truly live the lives we are meant to.

All of our paths and chapters are different and unique. There is no magical formula that we can concoct to reveal the answers that we need. Instead there is a connection to self and the space in which we truly thrive. As I listened to Dr Wayne Dyer he had asked the audience to point to themselves. I did it as well and placed my finger near my heart. He asked people to look around and to notice where every person was pointing. Nobody was pointing to their heads, everyone was pointing to their heart. Connecting to who we truly are and to be raw and real is the greatest service you can be for yourself and to others. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xooo

12. You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf.

ocean-quotes-about-life-ocean-quotes-about-life-life-quotes-quote-love-k1CwEb-quote
This affirmation presented to me today feels pertinent to what is happening for me right now. The end of my contract at work is coming to an end in just a few short weeks. I am currently looking for a new and exciting opportunity but one hasn’t come my way just yet. I am trusting that it will. My friend called me earlier she had almost been in an accident where a truck could have potentially wiped her off. Clearly and ever so f*KN thankful it didn’t. She was a little shaken and of course as we do spoke about life and what it means. I mean do we ever really know? Does it even matter? What was most profound for me was a lesson I like to remind myself of. If today was my last day did I spend it doing what I love doing? Did I spend it with people that I love being with?

I have been sick with a cold for a few days so today I rested. I had loving conversations with a few friends and had a friend pop in to see me. Sure if today was my last day I spent it doing what I love doing. Can I say that for every other day? For most of the time I can honestly say yes but there are certainly times when I am trying to stop the waves and forgetting that I can learn to surf. Pardon the pun because I have an unrealistic fear of deep ocean water but hey I will get there.

Today I was reminded even more so to be in my heart, to follow where I am guided, rather than what is expected or the right thing to do. It’s amazing how many people have opinions in what they think you “should” be doing. As far as I am concerned as soon as you “should” you may as well shit on yourself.  I can’t help that my work contract can potentially come to an end in a few weeks. It is really none of my business if it does or doesn’t.  What I do know is how involved in the drama of it do I wish to be involved in?

My current work situation has served me and had taught me the most unexpected and transformative lessons.  Learning about boundaries and self-worth have been the most pertinent of challenges.  They haven’t been fun nor have been easy but you know what I wouldn’t have it any other way. I know that we are taught exactly what we need at the perfect time. I have had no option but learn to surf. Our reactions to situations measure deeply from the way we choose to respond to them.  Are you stopping the waves or learning to surf? I know in the midst of what we are experiencing at time it can be ever so easy to react, however learning to respond gives me so much more freedom. You can’t stop the waves but you can learn to surf. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

 

 

7.Once you have learned how to enter your own kingdom, you have a special retreat within that is always available to you.

1610981_588052284677693_6430397926096671693_n

Awareness and personal responsibility are high on my agenda. They have allowed me to grow in ways I did not even know were humanly possible. The freedom that you are able to experience through awareness and having a conscious understanding that you create your own story is by far the most self-fulfilling prophecy that I will ever learn. Men and relationships would have to be the greatest gifts in which I have been able to grow and surrender.  Let’s make no mistake it has been a f**&^N tough one to learn and one that I still learn and emerge from. Just when I think I have got it, BAM the universe shows me something else to learn. What is actually evolving is self-growth and honouring me enough to know my boundaries of unconditional love for myself.

The most precious relationship that you can have is the one you have with self. If you don’t love and support yourself then you truly cannot expect another person to do the same for. Lessons come in many ways shapes or forms and sometimes it is men that will teach you. (well for me it has been) I would love to go into a man hating rave right now but pffft who wants to waste any more energy that is required on what is no longer. I haven’t met “the one” yet.  I would not even know what it feels like to be truly adored and supported because I simply haven’t been able to do that for myself. From the first boy I ever dated at the age of 16 who had another girlfriend the whole time, to the disrespectful behaviour I have been witness to from men in my life is simply because I have allowed it to happen. The relationship that existed within my self was one that did not have boundaries, did not know how to support and did not love without conditions.

At the time it is not necessarily something that I am entirely conscious or aware of but when I delve into what it is for me the message and lesson transpires and it is really cool. What is different for me now is that I do have love for self, I have enough compassion and understanding that as much as it is easy to blame, I appreciate that it is a total waste of precious time. What I would rather be putting my energy into is learning, being of service to humanity and loving from a space that is pure and unconditional.

So when life throws you a curveball and one that came out of nowhere you have a choice to either feel it and learn from it or turn the other way. I don’t know about you but at the age of 41 I am over shoving stuff down, it makes you sick, literally! Cliché or not we are not here for a long time but far out I want to make it a fun and happy ride. I want to feel all of it and know that no matter what comes up for me I can create whatever I choose it to be. Once you have learned how to enter your kingdom, you have a special retreat that is always available to you. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo