12. I create a bubble of ease around me when I travel

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Creating a bubble of ease feels pretty pertinent to me right now. I live on the Gold Coast and for most of the time the energy is light and vibrant. However this is not always the case. A few days ago I visited Centrelink for a client. I was attempting to advocate and was abruptly greeted by a security guard who requested information. I was then asked the same questions only seconds later by a Centrelink staff member. There were no salutations, no smile and no sign of human connection. I was perplexed as to why the same questions needed to occur. I’m not entirely sure how the information that I presented about cold\flu like symptoms or questions about travel could have changed from the front door to the front desk.

By this time my energy felt heightened and there was no bubble of ease. I get it everyone in the world seems to be under huge amounts of stress and government officials are simply trying to follow instructions. What I am curious about is how does the simplicity of connection get lost through translation? Why couldn’t there be a smile? Why couldn’t the questions be asked in a more dignified manner opposed to barking orders? How do we navigate this world right now with ease?

For me my senses are heightened. I become anxious in harsh settings so I am finding new ways to create a bubble of ease when I travel to complete daily work and personal tasks. For my Melbourne family and friends I know this is an area that has become somewhat normal. I am finding our new so called “normal” confronting and somewhat suffocating. The signs that remind us not to stand too close, the arrows on the floors that dictate which way we are meant to be walking and the screens behind each counter that are protecting us from the spread of further infection.

So how do we travel with ease when it seems that as a collective we are somewhat divided? How do we continue to come from a place of love when we can have such opposing views in regards to what is happening in our universe? I am tired of debating what is true to me. It saddens me that I don’t know when I will see my family next. My soul hurts that so many are suffering because of restrictions. It is a cruel and harsh reality that we cannot celebrate life and death in ways that we are accustomed. We are all affected in one way or another but what we do have is compassion, what we do have is spirit and what we do have is a beating heart that reminds us that we are alive. A heart that sings true to the collective response of unity in consciousness and a reminder of being leaders of hope in all that we do.

2020#connect2createchange#.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

6. Today I move forward with confidence & ease.

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I have struggled to blog lately. One of the “rules” that I imposed on myself is that I would write about living with a compassionate heart even on the days when I didn’t want to. This allows me to see another side. It doesn’t allow me to sit in my crap and lay blame, instead it forces me to sit up and take responsibility for my own creation. Otherwise you would simply be reading a blog about how FKT up it has all felt. Entertaining perhaps but I imagine not so useful.

I read the affirmation for today and pondered how exactly do we move forward with confidence and ease? How can I write about this when I don’t feel confident or at ease with all the events that are taking place right now? Then I felt that this was exactly what I had to write about. The last few weeks have been heavy and unnerving to say the least. I haven’t felt very positive about the world and I have struggled to understand the huge polarity in viewpoints.

Towers in Victoria are being locked down and people are now being detained in their own homes without the liberty of even being able to access an outdoor area. Children entering Victorian schools will now have a temperature gun pointed to their third eye prior to entering a classroom. Masks are now mandatory on public transport. Not sure about you but that doesn’t make me feel at ease. What I do know is that I also don’t want to live in fear and I certainly live with hope that this is not our new normal. So how do I move forward with confidence and ease with compassion?

What I have recognised is what I can do and that is to use my voice. To trust that there is a bigger purpose for us all. To know that I just can’t sit back and expect it to happen and that I have to be a part of the solution and not the problem. Whilst I stay in a state of fear and anger there is nothing that I can do for myself or the world. What I do know is that I can keep being light. I have had endless conversations about what is going on in our world right now. There has been a sense of helplessness that there is nothing that we can do.

#connect2createchange# is a project that I have been working on for a while now. It has changed its direction a few times now but the message is always the same. Connection! Without connection to self we simply just exist. If we stay the same so does the rest of world. If we think we can’t do anything then we won’t. I’m not sure about you but I don’t want to have to wait to be locked in my home to exercise the right to be outside. We take action, we speak up, and we become unafraid to seek justice. We move forward with grace and ease.

 

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

2. I release all guilt and emotional hurt. I am free.

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I caught up with a friend while I was in Melbourne last week. Her brother passed away last year and her life has been turned upside down inside out in a way that she never imagined. We all deal with life differently. For now she is doing the best that she can with the challenges that she is experiencing. It is easy to be positive when life is going the way we would like it to be. But what about when life takes twists and turns and we are left in a place that we have never known before. Yes we have been told that every painful ending turns into a wonderful beginning but there is a lot of stuff that needs to happen before we get there. My friend and I chatted. We didn’t laugh and reminisce like we usually have; instead we sat in a place of our friendship that we have never been before. It was about being raw, vulnerable, and in an authentic space of pain and grief.

Would I have dared say to release your guilt and emotional hurt, you will be free. Not in a heartbeat. She is nowhere near ready to move on from the place that she is in and who am I to tell her otherwise. What we did laugh about was all the advice that she has been given to supposedly “move on” from where she is at. For now she is where she needs to be for her and her growth. That isn’t to say that it isn’t heart wrenching to see my once full of life, funny, animated friend in a way that I haven’t seen her before. What I do know is that I can simply be there and hold a space for her when and if she needs. I can’t take any of it away for her and a positive affirmation certainly isn’t going to fix anything.

So why am I choosing to write about positive affirmations about something that doesn’t feel positive at all. What I find to be true and real is the grace of how we deal with what is presented to us in life. How we overcome the obstacles that seem way too high at the time? Are we still kind and caring towards others? Or are we an angry asshole? It is all good and well to have positive affirmations floating around and sure I don’t disagree that a positive mindset is paramount to our lives. What I am most interested in is what happens when we are in the pits of our dismay, how do we respond to the world with the tools that we have? If there is no awareness to self or personal responsibility this process increasingly becomes more difficult and our “stuff” comes out in ways that is not healthy to self or those around us. So be and do what you need for you at the time and above all be kind. #2020#CREATE#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

8. The gifts of Imperfection – Brene Brown

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I spoke to my uncle a few days ago for his birthday. Uncles are such cool characters in our lives and they offer you a unique relationship. My uncle reminded me to be grateful for what we have, that time is precious and all we have is this moment. Sure it is what we know but how much of it do we truly practise each and every day? I know that there are certainly times in my life where I live in my head and I really don’t take the time or energy to really feel into the simplicity yet complex components of gratitude.

I know that it was the perfect reminder for me as I have so much to be grateful for. What I also know is that when I live from my head life becomes exhausting quickly. I have started my own business and now work as a sole trader providing support services. Having only started my business 5 months ago it is certainly something that I tend to think about a lot. Life changes all the time and we are always unearthing aspects of self. I am grateful that I have a box of tools to balance out the emotions and let me tell you there has been many. There seems to be a theme of life being hectic at the moment especially in the last few months. By hectic I don’t mean in a super fun, social fairy kind of way. Instead they have been emotional, heavy, stressful, and anxious with plenty of tears being shed.

Has it been fun? Probably not. Has it been worth it? Absolutely. I would rather be going through the emotions rather than pretending that they don’t exist. Life can throw you some really full on lessons at times. It doesn’t mean we have to accept them with positivity and a bag of fairy dust. Quite the contrary it has to be transmuted to where it needs to go before we can understand the impact of what it means for us in our lives. I am by no means suggesting that we have a pity party but let’s meet what comes up with some passion and full responsibility of what we have created.

When we remind ourselves that all we have is this very moment nothing else should matter and all the stories can disperse. Great in theory but when we are in the midst of our own drama it doesn’t seem to be that easy. Instead what I do know now is what I continue to learn. Who we were even 6 months is perhaps different to who we are today. It can be scary and exciting at the same time. What I know now more than ever is the lessons seem to appear thick and fast and what matters most is how easily we let go of what no longer is necessary. To immerse in what we need to for the time and to truly find the gifts that have presented. It doesn’t mean that it is all pretty instead what we can do is embrace the space that is. To my dear uncle thanks for the gift of your wisdom and to truly feel that time is so very precious, gratitude is everything and all we have is now. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

Xoxo

3. Be the change you want to see in the world – GHANDI

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I have been working the community services for the last 15 or so years. I have generally loved the jobs that I have had and have always done them with passion and purpose. That is not to say that I am a bag of roses each and every day when I go into work.  In fact some days are led by frustration and systems that don’t necessarily work and choose to keep people stuck. This blog isn’t about politics or the system rather it has come from a place of sheer frustration that requires some change.

My positions have ranged in aged care, mental health and disability. Funnily enough just over 10 years ago I worked for the same organisation in Melbourne that I am now working on the Gold Coast.  Funny or not I feel like I may have very well come full circle. Sure some things may have changed in terms of the way services are delivered but the same issues are still persistent. This is most definitely not a political rant although I am sure I could very well go there.

I have been frustrated at annoyed at what I like to call “the system” for such a long time and for a myriad of reasons. The main one being is that at the crux of it there seems to be a loss of connection with the people that we are providing a service for. My feeling of frustration and somewhat resentment comes from the conversations, the struggles and the issues that are presented when we are working with vulnerable people. This isn’t isolated to one specific event or organisation rather my personal experience and reflection when working for a service and also in receiving one.

My younger sister lives with an intellectual disability and my primary passion for being able to work effectively within services and “the system” has arisen from her. In saying that I feel that my life work is about social justice and allowing everybody to have the choice to live their life in the way that they choose. This is not to say that places and organisations do not exist, instead what it means is some of my experiences continue to be the contrary.

So do I continue to complain or take action and make a difference? I know that doing what you have always done, always gets you what you have always got. I don’t have the answers nor do I have the solutions right now and I know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. However what I do know is that I can’t keep complaining about it. We all have the ability to create change. So for now I am putting it out there, doing some research, asking questions and most importantly reaching out. Our universe needs so much love, connection and personal responsibility right now. Mother Earth is suffering, we lose someone to suicide every 4 hours, 22 fathers take their lives every week due to parental alienation and today I learnt about the loneliness epidemic that exists in our world as a major health issue. Be the change you want to see in the world. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

14. The Accidental Finding of Treasure – Clarissa Pinkola Estes

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I was driving into a shopping centre yesterday; I hadn’t been there before so I was driving in a careful and possibly slower manner than what I would normally. The guy behind me ever so eloquently “beeped” and mouthed that I should hurry up. Being the quiet wallflower that I am my response although he didn’t hear was far from precious. As I heard myself cuss, I actually took myself by surprise. I attempted to do some laundry later that day and managed to somehow trip over nothing and spill pretty much a whole bottle of laundry liquid. I didn’t notice that I had knocked it at first. It was until it was seeping into my shorts that I realised what I had done and by this stage it was pretty much all over the bathroom floor. I growled a profanity and went to the beach instead. This morning I attempted and eventually succeeded to pay a Medicare bill online. Sounds rather simple I would say. The computer didn’t recognise my address; I had to download an app and almost give blood. Well not really I just thought I would continue being dramatic for a little while.

So clearly things are not in flow. Mishaps, falls and whatever else feel like a little sign, well for me it does anyway. I am pretty conscious of my own behaviours, thoughts and feelings. I believe that things happen for us and not to us. I could go on about the driver that reared his profanities or I could use it as an opportunity that allowed me to stop and take an account of what was and is going on for me. By the way I haven’t got it figured out. What I do know are the simple facts of where life has flowed in the last couple of days. To add insult to injury I also got two parking fines this week.

So I could make this blog about all the “stuff” that has happened and what a crappy last couple of days it has been or I can choose to focus on the relevance of what life brings. As “shitty” as it feels to receive a parking fine and sit in a pile of laundry liquid, I am able to sit back and reconnect to what is real and what is my perception. What is real is the love and gratitude that lives and all the beauty that my life is surrounded with.

So where frustration lies is always seeking an opportunity for growth and connection. As humans I feel that it is important and necessary to experience all the feelings that arise within us. No point in shoving them for they just appear in different ways. For me right now I am grateful for all the crappy or not so crappy stuff that happened this week. It is an awesome time to process, reflect and throw more love out into the world. For sometimes it is only when we disconnect from life that we are able to reconnect from a deeper place of passion and purpose. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxxo

5. The weaving of connection is what allows our souls to soar– Sonia Muraca

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A few weeks ago I received a message from a friend’s sister whom I have never met and lives on the other side of the world in Greece. She resonated with what I had written about and we shared and exchanged parts of our life that we may not have otherwise. There is no particular rhyme or reason as to why I write I just know that it is something that my soul yearns to do. I have had a really restless night sleep and am feeling a little disconnected to myself so I do what I know how and write. Writing always connects me back to my heart and gets me out of my monkey mind. The weaving of connection as humans it is one of the most important aspects of how we live our lives. Although I have never met my beautiful friend’s sister I feel very connected to her. We are able to share our moments of vulnerability and give each other the gift of strength and courage. Connections like these are rare and ones that I hold dear and near to my heart.

What is it about these connections that dig deep and are felt far and wide? Is it that our souls recognise each other and those we are here to teach and learn from? Or is it simply to love in a way that inspires and generates more love? I don’t do shallow and superficial well. I have been told many a time that my face and expressions indicate exactly where I am at. To be perfectly frank I am glad that this is the case because pretending doesn’t work well for me at all. I would much rather have connecting conversations with a complete stranger that leave you feeling full and inspired opposed to countless conversations about drama and toxicity.

Connection for me is what gives our life purpose. If we are not connecting to each other and most importantly ourselves then do we just exist? I am going to be 44 this year. Being in my 40’s has been the best part of my life so far. I have been able to connect to myself, nature and people in ways that I have not experienced before. It is the epitome of freedom and what my souls years for the most.  I don’t have the energy to do otherwise. When I am not in flow my energy and connection to self dissipates and I find myself in a lower vibration that does not align. I recognise that I am wearing my grumpy pants or those that love me tell me that I am. I tend not to look after myself as well as what I would like to and I can spend copious amounts of time binging on Netflix. It is not about judging any of these experiences; we can’t have one without the other. As long as we are able to recognise the differences of where we are at, then we can come to understand that we are here to experience and cherish the essence of what life is truly about. The weaving of connection is what allows our souls to soar. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

2. If you could change the world, what would it be? – Sonia Muraca

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It is funny or not how life manifests. We set an intention and we have no idea how it may or may not transpire. When our soul speaks to us we can only ignore it for so long. Our cousin chose to go home almost three years ago, still that feeling of anguish sits in my being, but it can’t always live there. As a family we turned our attention outwards and organised a fundraiser in her honour. It wasn’t so much about raising money but most importantly about awareness. The money that we did raise went into a community that our cousin was connected to. Our vision was that they would be able to connect to more people. I knew at that time that there was something more that had to be done about suicide.

Ultimately we can’t stop any being from doing what is their choice. Instead what I can do is recognise that a loss of connection to self, can lead to a very dark path. Dark doesn’t have to be good or bad. It is an opportunity to find visit the depths of our souls and discover our truth. Behind the pain there are lessons to be learnt and joy to be found, if this is what we allow. For so many the pain is too deep or hurts too much and that is not for me to judge or tell you otherwise. I have been great at burying and shoving stuff down but you know what it resurfaces and generally when we least expect it.

As the fundraiser progressed so did #connecttocreatechange#. I have had some ideas swirling around for months now and after having a chat with my mentor this week I know that there is a bigger picture. I work in the area of suicide prevention and awareness and my passion about people not taking their own lives is one that I feel I am meant to do. Almost every 3 hours in Australia a precious life is lost to suicide. A figure that I still can’t quite comprehend nor do I want to. This isn’t about saving lives rather it is about creating more conscious connections with ourselves and each other.

I began writing this blog a few days ago and wasn’t sure where it was going. As I sit and finish my blog a few days later I have had a moment of clarity. For the last four or so years I have written simply because I love to write, it is also a part of who I am. It allows me to connect to my heart space and unleash what is going on in my sometimes monkey mind. I would love and invite you to be a part of #connecttocreatechange#. It is time to show up, be vulnerable and ask for your input, ideas and thoughts on how you feel change can be created. Sometimes it is the simplest of gestures that can change someones life forever. If you could change the world, what would it be?  Never underestimate the strength and power of humanity, kindness and love. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxox

1. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage – Brene Brown

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Writing for me is a part of who I am. Without it I am not sure where my life would be right now. It takes me to a place where nothing else matters. The purpose of my blog is to write with a compassionate heart especially on the days that I don’t want to. Today is one of those days and I am reminded that these are the times that I need to dig deep and change my perspective of where my head space it at. My body is tired and all I want do is climb under my doona and sleep. I live in Queensland now and the weather doesn’t allow doona kind of days. I could potentially continue to lie on the couch and feel sorry for myself or I can write. Clearly this is what I have chosen.

To be vulnerable is not something that we are taught to do. We are often told that we need to be strong, that we need to have it all together or that we need to feel a certain way. That doesn’t really work for me. It is tiring and consuming to be someone who we are not. I would choose raw and real any day. To be vulnerable is one of the greatest gifts that we can possibly give ourselves and others. I really don’t believe we were meant to live our lives having to do it all on our own.

I was having a conversation with my roomies a few days ago and we were talking about our ideal relationship and what expectations we have not only on ourselves but on others. The conversation that took place is one that has left me pondering. We all want to be independent people and not have any expectations from others but does that in turn can leave us isolated and not emotionally available.

What if we took off the masks and just presented exactly as we were. To openly admit what it is that we are feeling without being afraid of being hurt or judged. For it to be perfectly ok to have days when we just can’t adult. We seem to forget that we can’t have one without the other. Where there is light there is darkness and on the days that it is too dark we can use the light of others to ignite what we need.

For me my needs right now are simple. A meal that is being cooked, for me to openly admit that I am not feeling the best I can be and to accept the love and warmth from those around me. Sometimes it isn’t that simple and showing up as we are can scary. But what if it wasn’t and what if our imperfections were actually perfect. Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxxo

18. Home is not a place it is a feeling

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I have been living on the Gold Coast for just over three months.  It has been a plethora of emotions that I seem to untangle and construct on a sometimes daily basis. I love being so close to the ocean. Knowing that I can walk 5 minutes to be so close to the roaring waves brings so much joy to my heart. On the flip side I miss my family, friends and the familiarity that I know.  Some days are harder than others. Being away from all that I know has also forced to go deeper within myself and to feel truly at home no matter where I am. It has taught me to dig to depths that I haven’t visited before and grow to a different sense of self.

When I am being challenged in life I also take it as an opportunity to learn and understand what it means for me. It doesn’t mean that I have to analyse the crap out of it and do my own head in. instead I am able to feel what it is that is going on for me and allow myself to take responsibility for growth and understanding. Too often in life when we are presented with “stuff” that is painful or difficult to digest we shove it down or distract ourselves with whatever else. To feel pain is uncomfortable and we do anything possible to avoid it. We learn so much from a place of pain and for me it is where growth really happens if we allow it.

It is relatively easy for us to live in our heads, it is comfortable and it is safe up there, quite frankly it gives me a headache. Living from our hearts and being connected is love living. So when I connect to the place of feeling of home at times it is what I know. What I have come to understand is that feeling of home is living from your heart which may not always be easy to do. It can feel far more comfortable to lash out, blame and avoid. For me it is a daily practise and reminder of what life essentially is.  There will always be situations and interactions that we are presented with. It has the potential to take us away from living love if this is what we allow. Or we can choose to sit in our pain, hurt, grief or whatever uncomfortable feeling we are shown and grow from the experience.

So when I connect to home, I feel what it is like to be surrounded by my mad, crazy, loud and fun loving family. They are what I have known for the last 43 years, I miss them like crazy at times and yearn for the comfort that I know so well. The other side of that is remaining connected to who I am and feeling at home in my heart no matter where I am. Being pushed out of my comfort zone also take me to a place of discovery and this is where the magic truly happens. Home is not a place, it is a feeling. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo