7. Don’t stop dancing in the darkness – Sonia

 

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Suicide awareness week is approaching. For those that know me will also know that suicide awareness and prevention is something that I am passionate about and also something that is very close to my heart. When I use the words passionate and suicide in the same sentence it almost feels wrong. I am not passionate about suicide; I do however feel very purposeful about making a difference and creating change in this area. Our country is in a national crisis and where do we actually start and how do we actually make a difference. I don’t have the answers and I haven’t quite worked it out yet but what I do know is that connection and community are paramount.

A friend messaged me yesterday. She was angry at hurt about an incident that had occurred at her workplace. A colleague of hers was visibly upset as he had just heard the news of someone that had recently completed suicide. She felt horrible, angry and sad as she processed that yet another life has been lost to suicide. What was more startling for her is that he sat at his desk and cried, nobody seemed to be comforting him. Nobody around him at that time seemed to know what to say. Fortunately or not my friend has the inner resources to have a courageous conversation and talk about suicide. I have reflected a few times about what she has told me and at first I judged the others who simply couldn’t be present for another human being. Talking about suicide isn’t about unicorns and rainbows; instead it is real and raw and can be uncomfortable and tough.

I pray that we get to a point that we no longer have to talk about suicide because it simply doesn’t happen but until then we may need to find an alternative approach. When I feel into what suicide prevention and awareness means to be right now it is about having real and raw conversations. Too often we are told to “be strong”,” be grateful” or whatever positive affirmation it may be. Sometimes it is OK to just feel the shadows and process what needs to be. We avoid our darkness mostly because it frightens us. Our minds take over and we can spiral quickly if we don’t have the tools. What if we could simply be honest about what it means to feel dark and how much it hurts right now, opposed to scrambling up a strategy to make everything OK? What if the darkness that presents is perfect because that is the channel for growth?

I don’t proclaim to have it all worked out; in fact the last few months have been somewhat of a shit storm with the intensity of emotions that have transpired. This is life and we aren’t meant to do it on our own. We are meant to share and not from a place of shame or fear rather than from a place of courage, love and compassion for ourselves and others. It is the only way that we can truly support one another and show up exactly as we are in whatever moment that be. So in light of suicide awareness week let’s be real, raw, show up and create the change we wish to see in the world. #connect2createchange#

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxxo

18. The simplicity of humanity can create magic – Sonia Muraca

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I have just spent the last two days at a conference for Indigenous Health in Remote and Rural areas. I would have liked to have walked away from it feeling inspired and connected to the work that I do. It has in fact done the contrary. I am left feeling this way because of the system we seem to be working from. For the most part there are inadequacies and injustices that still occur in a country where there is so much abundance. I have worked in the community sector for pretty much my whole working life. For the last 20 or so years I have lived and breathed the community sector in various positions. My passion for social justice led me to the sector and one of the main reasons why I have remained in it for so long. As much as I love my job and the work that I do there is so much that doesn’t sit well with me.

My main purpose of writing my blog is to remind myself to live with a compassionate heart even on the days that I don’t want to. Right now is one of those days. Running away and living in a tree on a tropical island feels like a far more sensible choice than remaining in a system that seems to have little or no movement. As I sit on a train on my commute home I look around and see a disconnected world where humans are either on their devices or sleeping. I am no different as I am typing this with a laptop on my knee (quite possibly annoying the guy next to me with my loud typing). I know the way in which is I view the world is simply a reflection of me.

As I process and feel what I have heard for the last two days the words that I remember the most are;  brother, sister, aunty, relationships, creator, spirit, soul. These words, when I feel into them have meaning and I can once again connect to purpose. I recognise that it isn’t an easy process as my thoughts sway from “the system is f&*T” to “we are all connected, we are all one”.

As I lean more into my heart space, the guy next to me tells me to be careful as there is coffee on the floor next to me. Alas connection! Just like that. As soon as I feel into my heart space there is the magic of connection and humanity right before my eyes. So do I still want to give it all up and run away? Some days and moments most certainly yes! But for now there is reason to create change and influence in the work that we do. Is it always easy? No. Is it always fun? No. Is it always worth it? Yes. Social Justice especially for those who don’t have a voice is a huge inspiration for me. What I do know is that there is so much to do. The most important is always about connection to self and others. The simplicity of humanity can create magic. Thank you to the beautiful man on the train that reminded me when I needed to know it the most. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xxooo

7. “Let’s get lost.”

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A friend sent me this quote a few days ago and it has been on my mind since then. It got me thinking about another quote that I particularly love. “Not all who wander are lost” J. R. R. Tolkien. I have been back a few short weeks from a holiday of a lifetime with my dear dad in Italy. I have spent a whirlwind of 3 weeks connecting with my paternal family and was enveloped with an abundance of love and a treasure chest of goodness. I have landed smack bang to Melbourne’s looming winter and have not loved it. I can hear myself whinging about the cold and grey days and I don’t like it. I refuse to let the holidays “blues” settle in. So I ask myself now what?  What is it that I want to create from this one beautiful life that I have?

The largeness of life, the gift of generosity and the natural state of being in my heart seems to have dissipated somewhat.  It has been the same kind of feeling that emerges each time I return from working in Cambodia. For me Cambodia is a place where I feel totally in my heart and leading from a place of deliberate action, opposed to just being. I am not sure it is something that I can simply write in words rather it is a feeling and knowing that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be.

I attended a drumming mediation last night and it has confirmed for me very much the feeling of connection and following your heart home. It is not to say that I don’t ever feel at home in Melbourne but rather the feeling of connection and purpose in all that I do. My work climate along with the current reforms is something that I battle and I am not in flow. The inequality to those that live with mental health issues will serve a greater injustice and my energy is spent on frustration and fighting a neurotic battle that makes me feel disconnected. So when I reflect on being “lost” it is about finding a different way.  To know that there is a bigger purpose. To really and truly step into your purpose and follow your soul to where it is meant to be. In this space there are no questions, and there are no second thoughts. The mindless chatter is eradicated and the connection to self is one that the soul is able to recognise. The feeling of “home” represents being in your heart and that life is in flow.

So when I feel into “wandering” or being “lost” for me it is not about wandering around aimlessly, in fact it is quite the contrary. It is about the connection to self and others. It is about stepping up and being in alignment with what truly matters. There are no guarantees, there is no promise of tomorrow and all we have is right now. So for me it means staying in your heart and listening to the gentle whispers of your soul. For when we are truly connected magic does truly happen. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo