Today I am writing from the calendar Every day Wisdom by Dr. Wayne D Dyer. I still am so saddened by his passing, especially because he was on my bucket list to meet. I could certainly blame him for dying or I could actually work on my bucket list rather than it being just a list in my home. The theme of personal responsibility has come up a lot for me especially in the first few weeks of the New Year. It is like the universe tried to cram as many life lessons as they could in the first few weeks juts to make sure that I got the message. I am hearing it loud and clear! So as I flicked the calendar to the date for today I felt compelled to write about this very issue that has been gnawing at me for weeks.
I have been dealt some really shitty behaviour in the last couple of weeks. It has been a crescendo of events that have eventually come to a head and the lesson is rewarding. However the action of another is simply disloyal and disrespectful. I am learning and as I like to see it a work in progress. I truly believe that we always continue to evolve and learn. I could certainly sit here and write 500 words about the actions of another person and their shitty behaviour and it may possibly make an interesting read. Instead I am learning the lesson and truly moving on. What is different this time for me is that I am learning about compassion for myself.
What I do know is that this behaviour that has been presented to me has happened for some time. Whether it has been from a partner, relative, friend, boss or colleague, I have allowed it to occur time and time again. I have felt compassion for the other person and understood that I have attracted that behaviour for a reason. I have also felt compelled to understand that the behaviour is not personal rather an indication of their own self-worth. I could go on and on but you know what I am boring myself with the story. I am done! Fuck off with your “need” to manipulate to make yourself feel better. My boundaries of self-worth and compassion far outweigh your insecurities and it is game over.
For me this has been a reoccurring pattern. It has been ever so subtle that at times I hardly recognised what was happening. Until it smacked me in the face and I was left with “are you kidding me?” My biggest lesson is that I have allowed this to happen for such a long time that I would rather send love and compassion for another being than deal with my own stuff of self-worth and compassion. Whilst I can still be loving and compassionate I no longer will allow my precious source of energy to be consumed by such distaste of behaviour. Energetically I have removed myself and funnily enough when I was saw the individual in question not even a salutation was exchanged on their part. I often ask the universe for those that are in their highest integrity to share my path so I know that they heard my prayer. I don’t blame the other person rather I can now thank them with love and compassion for the lesson I have been shown but the difference is I have now disconnected from them. Their healing is their own personal responsibility, not mine. Our paths may still continue to emerge for one reason or another but my own boundary of compassion of love for self is about standing in my own power of truth and integrity. I take back my power. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.
With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day