In September 2020 I didn’t just trip and fall, I fell smack bang on my face and had no idea what the F(*K had just happened. My mental health was on the decline and it was rapid, so much so that I had managed another admission into a psychiatric ward. A few months later I left the unhealthy relationship I was in, my home and job that I loved and moved back to Melbourne to be closer to family. Everything I knew was no longer. To say I was experiencing a dark night of the soul would be an understatement. It was a treacherous 18 months of rediscovering and remembering why I was here. There is always a message amongst the mess, yet the discovery wasn’t fun nor easy. In fact, it has been a shit load of pain, discomfort, severing of many unions and knowing now that I have unwavering faith of the strength that resides within.

My focus for recovery was that it had to be holistic. I sought many complimentary therapies that allowed me to look at the pillars of life when I was ready and willing. Within 6 months I had weaned myself off medication (under the guidance of a professional) and after a year I hired a coach to further support my wellbeing. I searched high and low for help and guidance of some kind, something tangible and something that would support me exactly where I was at. Each step of my recovery was different and required different modalities to meet me where I was at.

The truth was that I didn’t know exactly what I needed, however I did know that life for me as I knew it was no longer. At the time I was actively contributing to my community; I was employed as a disability advocate, I enjoyed being social, the beach was my happy place and for the most time I felt connected. What I wasn’t was truly connected to my authentic self. I was connected to aspects of self but I had neglected and abandoned myself in so many ways that it came in full force with a breakdown. I had no choice but to stop. It was the pause that I needed. Little did I know what would unravel at this time.

I couldn’t possibly encapsulate that time in one blog. It hasn’t been one thing and it has been everything. When I was discharged from hospital I was given minimal support, a shit load of medication and was left to navigate a system that unfortunately I knew my way around. Except this time, I found another way. What I do know is that this does feel like my life work. Lived experience, support, community, connection and a wholistic approach was how I supported myself especially through the last 2 years. As a peer support mentor I know that my why is guiding and supporting others from a space of disconnection to creative connection because stars can only shine in the darkness.

With a splash of Mermaid Magic and always let your heart lead the way.

Fairy wishes

Sonia

xxxx