I’ve refrained all day from writing my blog because quite frankly I haven’t really wanted to feel. I spent two days away after the funeral of my aunt, which was exactly what I needed. The death of a family member is something that we all will or have experienced at some time or another and for each of us the feelings and emotions are different. What is real is grief and coming home last night noticing the red rose that we received from her coffin stared me in the face. The whole thing had actually happened, but it was time for bed and I went to sleep. This morning when I got up and climbed down my stairs it was the first thing I noticed and again I realised that it was real.
So as I glanced upon the affirmation today on several occasions. I didn’t want to write about all being well in my world because I felt like crap! My body feels tired, my heart feels heavy and the realisation that life can all too quickly pass us by is so bloody real. I know it has only been a few short weeks and I am sure there will be many more moments, hours or days when I may feel like this again but right now it feels so raw and hurts so much. I can’t pretend nor do I want to but what I can do is allow myself to feel harmony in a way that I know how.
So for today I am being compassionate to myself and looking after me the way I know how. I would love to drink a few bottles of red wine and pretend it never happened but I also know it will come back until I deal with whatever it is that I am feeling at the time. So for now I will cry the tears that I need to cry, lie in Mother Earth and allow her to cradle my body so I can soak up her loving energy, listen to music, mediate and make myself a big fat bowl of popcorn and watch a movie. This is all I can muster for today. I may never be able to physically touch her again but I know that if I close my eyes I can feel her in my soul and heart and this brings me harmony. Harmony surrounds me. All is well in my world. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.
With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.