20. “Don’t let anybody walk through your mind with their dirty feet” – Ghandi

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I heard this quote twice yesterday. When I heard it for the second time I really stopped to listen and feel what it meant for me. Earlier that day I had been listening to some radio station. They were talking about forgiveness. I almost changed it but something stopped me. The announcer explained that when we hate someone every day it requires a lot of effort and energy. The act of forgiveness happens once and we are done. Sounds pretty simple and it was definitely something that I needed to be reminded of. I am no angel, far from it. I am a human having a spiritual experience. I don’t love all the time but for most of the time I have an open heart. My blog is about writing with a compassionate heart even on the days when I don’t want to. These are the times when I need it the most.

So after having heard the quote twice and having listened to the story about forgiveness I figured there was certainly something that I needed to look into. There is no surprise that someone from my past surfaced and had been only what they can be. Being compassionate also means that the other party is doing the best that they can and they are in their own process of healing. Look if you had of heard me at the time it was quite the contrary, but a day or two later and I have learnt to not let someone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.

First and foremost we are human beings. I believe in order to evolve that we have to experience all the extremities of emotions, irrespective of whether they feed good or bad. Sometimes or not it helps to analyse the crap out of a misdoing and we simply do our head in. On a conscious level we are aware that the thoughts we are allowing to consume us are only generating a negative impact on our bodies and lives.

Our souls remind us that what we are going through is for the greater good or is redirecting us to a bigger and better place. However our minds and our bodies can tell us otherwise. We carry anger, distaste and attempt to rationalise the injustice that has occurred. Unfortunately or not our bodies can take a little more time to catch up to what we truly know. Respecting and honouring the process is paramount to our evolvement. I am all for love in fact I thrive in an atmosphere of love. It is all good and well to send love and light but sometimes let’s just own it and call it for what it is. I know that anger and resentment isn’t worth hanging onto to but I also know that I am human and feeling all of what life has to offer is part of my growth and aligning me to exactly where I am meant to be  “Don’t let anybody walk through your mind with their dirty feet”– Ghandi. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoo

15. “I came here for love”

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I was at my exercise session this morning and I heard a song that caught my attention. I barely remembered the lyrics other than the words “I came here for love” I can’t say that I was actually listening to the song. I was too busy trying to get through each round of exercise at 5am. On the way home from work I heard the same song. I love music and what it is able to do. The song immediately resonated with me as the words worked their way to my soul. I am not even sure what the song is about but I felt a strong urge to write about it.

We can talk about messages and signs from the universe but we also have to be present to listen to them. Living in a new state for over a month now, I am probably the most present I have ever been. That is not to say that I have no distractions or that I am perfect. In fact far from it, I like to call it a work in progress. We are all here to learn and grow from what we know and what surrounds us at the perfect time. So when I heard the lyrics for the2nd time in one day I took it a sign that it was something that I was meant to hear. After all everything is about perspective and interpretation.

We come into this lifetime as a big bundle of love and unfortunately life happens and our natural state of being in not something that we become accustomed to. This morning I was told that it is likely that more war and terrorism could occur, quite possibly the truth. Not the sprinkle of sunshine I had planned to start my day with but I also have personal freedom and choice. It is not to say that I walk around with rose coloured glasses (as much as I reckon they would be really cool). Instead I am reminded that “I came here with love”

This morning as I went for my morning coffee, I listened to a mum scathe her child in front of everyone. The words rang through my mind “I came here for love”. I have no idea what she went through that morning, nor is it any of my business. It is however my purpose to be love in all that I do. It doesn’t mean that her actions are justified and that the protection of the little boy isn’t paramount, instead it is about the way I choose to spend the next moments in that time. I could create more angst or I can simply send her some peace and patience.

Today was a perfect reminder for me to be love in all that I do. After all it is who we truly are. It doesn’t mean that life is always presented with unicorns and rainbows, I get it shit happens. Instead what I do know is that I can choose to respond with love, truth and personal responsibility in all that I do. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

13. F.E.A.R – Face everything and rise.

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So I made the big move to Gold Coast Queensland and have been here just under a week.  I felt really compelled to write this morning as it always puts me in a place of grounding and alignment. What came to me was the juxtaposition of what the word fear can actually mean. I don’t recall where I heard that FEAR can also mean “Face everything and rise” and nor does it actually matter. What is important for me right now is how it resonates and where I choose to place my energy.

The Gold Coast is a picture of paradise. I could certainly spend the next 400 or so words about the picturesque settings that I am in total awe of. Instead what feels more important is to appreciate the contrast of what Queensland means to me right now and how I am feeling in the face of fear. Fear is paralysing and stops us from living love and from our hearts. When we live from our head space it is debilitating and sends us into a spiral of chaos and big fat brain drain! Trust me I know.

What I continue to learn is if something isn’t challenging us then we are not learning and evolving. Not sure about you but the aspect of staying the same scares the crap out of me. So I have had to remind myself of that quite a few times this week. The move has been one that I know is absolutely something that I have needed to do on so many levels. That doesn’t mean that “fear” doesn’t turn up on occasions and I can send myself into a little tail spin. After all we are humans first and foremost. We can go about being all spiritual and stuff but what does that mean anyways? I would much rather not go into labels and instead simply be real and raw. We tend to shy away time and time again from feelings of pain and uncomfortableness, but these are the ones that stem the most growth.

So for me right now, I know that this is a time of total transition. Yes there is fear around the unknown. At times there is pure joy and others an emotion I can’t even identify with because I have never quite been here before. I know that I wake up to an ocean of pure bliss and the sounds of waves which sing to my soul. I can also sit at a coffee shop and watch the connections of friends meeting up and miss home. I can choose to live in the fear of the unknown or I can embrace every opportunity that this sea change has to offer and rise. It doesn’t mean that I am not going to go through a range of “stuff” at any given time. What it does teach me is to live love, get outside of my head and create from a space of freedom and compassion. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

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When I sat down today to write my blog I hadn’t quite expected what was going to come up. Life has a funny way of revealing itself to you at the most opportune and serendipitous moments. As I read the affirmation today I can recall past conversations especially about my last relationship. I can hear myself saying “I regret convincing myself that I didn’t want to have children” when deep down I discovered I would have welcomed being a mum with open arms. I have caught myself saying “ I regret not loving myself enough to leave a relationship that was not in alignment with who I was” A lot of bloody regret right there I reckon and judging by the way my stomach is churning whilst I am writing, I am gathering it doesn’t do a whole lot for your cellular body either.

When I go into my heart space it simply makes me feel sad and justifiably so. This has been an issue that with time and healing is one that has unmistakably allowed me to grow in so many other areas of my life. What I have come to terms with is that I may not be a biological mum in this time and whatever will be simply will. In the process I love and embrace my role as Zia to my kooky, inspiring, compassionate and amazing nephews and nieces.

So for me now it is all about perception and truly not feeling regret for past decisions. Even as I type the word regret the vibration feels shitty and dull. Instead what I opt is to fully embrace the lessons and amazing experiences that I have been able to delve into because of a relationship that did not serve me.

Whether or not I am a biological mum in this lifetime is irrelevant, rather for me it is about the love that I am able to share with others is most prevalent. I have worked in child protection over my community services career. There have been plenty of children who are born to parents who simply through lack of love of self cannot love another and this is truly sad. I know now through the learning of relationships that didn’t serve me I have a lot of love to give. So how can I have regret when I have learnt to love without conditions?

Whilst this one has been a tough and sad lesson for me that I am embracing the silver lining. It is about teaching and inspiring others to fully feel into their heart space and to be in relationships where love is unconditional. For unconditional love is the purest love of all and once you have discovered that love for yourself you are only able to attract the same. To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xx

 

72. I am far more than other people’s opinions. My opinion of myself is the one that counts.

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I love the age old saying “what others think about me is not of my business”. It sounds so simple, but yet we tend to get caught up in our egos. For such a long time I truly gave a f*&K about what others thought or said about me. Now I couldn’t care less. Not because I am arrogant or self-centred but simply because I recognise that their perception is a reflection of their world. At 41 years young I have the wisdom to know the difference. Trust me it hasn’t always been this easy or simple for me. There were times in my life where I just wanted to be loved and accepted and would worry and care about what others thought and said. Now I figure if somebody is taking the time to “talk about me” even if it is not in the most desirable of ways then I must be pretty significant for them to putting their energy into it. All about perception I reckon.

It is when we are down and out about ourselves that the options of other can either exacerbate or alleviate our feelings, good bad or indifferent. It is the relationship that we have about our self that is the most important. We are only able to feel the negative impact of another opinion if we in fact have that opinion about ourselves

I have accepted and now love my inner “crazy\weird”. There was a time that I was so embarrassed and ashamed about having a mental health issue that I would avoid it at all costs. Now I am loud and proud about it because I embrace and love my “crazy\weird”. I am happy to admit that at times there is “Little Miss Psycho” that resides within me. She is certainly much more tamed these days but Little Miss Psycho is a part of me that I have learnt to love and totally embrace. She is the part that has allowed me to dig deep and discover my creative flair that I love to express.

With this experience has also come a “shitload” of lessons. Sure it is about the stigma that is attached to mental illness, but it so much more and quite frankly I don’t really care about the “story” any more. What I love most is how the experience has enriched my life and fulfilled a part of me that I never knew existed. So we have a choice about others opinion. We can either get pulled into the drama of it all or not give a rats and focus on the amazing relationship with ourselves, because who we are is a reflection of what is around us.. I am far more than other people’s opinions. My opinion of myself is the one that counts. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

66. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

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Sadness is a feeling that right now feels miles away as I get myself organised to go on a little getaway with my sisters and cousin to Queensland. I could write about how happy that it is making me right now and that sadness is far removed from my mind but that would make a contradictory blog. One of the reasons for the getaway is because there has been so much sadness this year and part of getting away is to have fun, be together and have some fun.

For me I know sadness all too well. Whilst I was in the midst of my depression over 15 years ago  it is something that I now have so much more awareness of and an aspect of my life in which I am truly grateful for. For me sadness and feeling flat is a part of my life that I have learnt to embrace, a space in which I am able to feel vulnerable and an experience that I am able to grow from.

A friend text me the other day and told me she “felt” me and that I was feeling sad. For me this is one of the greatest gifts that I am able to receive. Yes I was feeling sick and sorry for myself yet to know that there was another person that was happy to hold that space for me in my vulnerability allowed me to feel what it was that I needed to and move on from that feeling. It wasn’t about shoving it down and pretending that I was OK, rather it wasn’t about having courage and strength in my vulnerability to move through the feelings and process them the way that was beneficial to me.

Sadness is a feeling that we sometimes tend to shy away from. A feeling that at times we try to “snap out of” and one that tends to disassociate us from the rest of our world. It is a feeling that can have stigma attached to it and one that doesn’t always appear as acceptable from others. We all want to hang around happy uplifting people but yet we find it uncomfortable to sit with someone in their sadness. Now there is difference between negativity and sadness.  For me sadness especially this year has been one of the greatest gifts in which I have allowed myself to dig deep to what is truly important, to expose my vulnerability with those I trust and to gain insight and understanding to my shadow side.

Where sadness lies most for me is for my dear cousin who chose to take her life, not only for her but the countless others that felt that suicide was their only answer. It makes me sad that in a world where we are so many there can still be no connection that gives another individual enough courage to stay. Whilst there is sadness there is also an inner courage and strength to do more for others, to connect on levels that I haven’t before and to know and truly feel that we are all one, that we are connected. Whilst we celebrate each other with joy it is just as important to celebrate and be present in the sadness. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxxx

I am mentally and emotionally equipped to enjoy a loving prosperous life.

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I have forced myself to write today as I know that this is the best therapy for me and also a  sure way that I am able to get out of my head and into my heart space. Writing keeps me real. It is ironic that the affirmation for today is about being mentally and emotionally equipped because right now I feel vulnerable and somewhat fragile. I can’t quite pinpoint what it is and nor do I have to define it. Rather what I can do is just feel what is.

It has been just over a week since I have returned from Cambodia and I always find that there is certainly an adjustment period. It takes me time to align to the world that I am so fortunate to live in. It is a time that I am certainly able to reflect and feel into the next stage and chapter of my life. There are times in my return where I feel melancholy and I have just learnt that this is what I need to feel into. From the pits of sadness great things happen.

Funnily enough I went to see a movie last night called “Inside Out”. One of the best movies I have seen in a long time. Although it is a children’s movie the message was universal and so relevant. Too often in life we have this expectation on how we are meant to feel. When stuff doesn’t quite go the way is expected we don’t quite know what to do with it and then become afraid or uneasy about what is going on for us.  For me the movie that I watched last night was such an affirmation about honouring ALL feelings. Most importantly it was able to remind me that without sadness happiness cannot exist. So in sadness greatness does exist. For without one the other cannot be. So instead of looking at sadness as something that we need to overcome it is about finding the silver lining within the experience.

Right now I could not be more thankful my years of depression as they have taught me so many aspects of self that without it I would not have known even existed. The courage, strength and resilience that I have been able to recognise within myself have been amongst the greatest gifts that I have received. It certainly may not have felt like it at the time but I know now that is the greatest gift of all.

I truly believe that sadness exists because it has to. I am not saying that living a depressed life is necessary but rather when and if we do find ourselves in this situation it is such a dynamic opportunity to delve in and see what it is that we need to find within ourselves. To connect to our truth and our heart space, to listen to our most important organ, our heart. For our heart never lies. I am mentally and emotionally equipped to enjoy a loving prosperous life. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With love

Sonia

xxxo