I was reading one of my old time favourites – A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. It is one of the books that I can pick up at any given time and flick it to a page and read what I am meant to for that particular time. When I read the line it certainly grabbed my attention. The word assignments felt like a task or perhaps it was just the way I was feeling at the time. This got me feeling and thinking that if I felt like the word assignment was a task how was I viewing the relationships that I was currently in?
A few nights ago my partner and I were lying on the couch and in the distance I could hear what sounded like screaming. We live on a sometimes busy road so I didn’t take too much notice at first. Then the voice became relentless so we went across the road. We weren’t sure if we were entering an argument but as we approached it appeared there was a break up happening. The young girl was quite upset to the point of being hysterical. I offered her a hug but she declined and the screaming continued for a little while. I couldn’t help but think and feel about the situation and her distress. She has been in my thoughts not because I wanted to help or save her but because of my own past. In my 20’s when the marriage I was in ended, I didn’t know how to cope. They say the world is a reflection of you, so it did bring me back and how little is any self-worth I had at the time. I am not passing any judgement on the couple or the situation they were in rather an opportunity to reflect and learn.
The quote “relationships are like assignments” allowed me to reflect on my own relationship not with my partner but with myself, the most important relationship of all. I looked inside of myself and thought about my 26 year old didn’t know what self-worth was nor did she understand anything about self-love. It didn’t mean that I went back there to relive the experience rather to know that relationship with self it an area of our lives that we always must work on. We can’t expect others to make us happy nor can we depend on external circumstances to keep us fulfilled and happy.
This is not to say that connection isn’t necessary and paramount for us to live meaningful lives. Instead it is to say that the connections and relationships that we do have are ones that are built on integrity, authenticity and the absolute freedom to be whoever we need to be in this world of ours. To the young girl that was clearly distraught thank you for reminding me just how important loving self in all aspects is absolutely necessary. For her the journey of self-love and worth may have just begun, I don’t really know I can only stipulate. Each of us has our own paths to follow and assignments to fulfil. For me right now it is a reminder that my own relationship with self has room to grow, it always does, we are always learning. Blessed be and so it is.
With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.