15. “I came here for love”

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I was at my exercise session this morning and I heard a song that caught my attention. I barely remembered the lyrics other than the words “I came here for love” I can’t say that I was actually listening to the song. I was too busy trying to get through each round of exercise at 5am. On the way home from work I heard the same song. I love music and what it is able to do. The song immediately resonated with me as the words worked their way to my soul. I am not even sure what the song is about but I felt a strong urge to write about it.

We can talk about messages and signs from the universe but we also have to be present to listen to them. Living in a new state for over a month now, I am probably the most present I have ever been. That is not to say that I have no distractions or that I am perfect. In fact far from it, I like to call it a work in progress. We are all here to learn and grow from what we know and what surrounds us at the perfect time. So when I heard the lyrics for the2nd time in one day I took it a sign that it was something that I was meant to hear. After all everything is about perspective and interpretation.

We come into this lifetime as a big bundle of love and unfortunately life happens and our natural state of being in not something that we become accustomed to. This morning I was told that it is likely that more war and terrorism could occur, quite possibly the truth. Not the sprinkle of sunshine I had planned to start my day with but I also have personal freedom and choice. It is not to say that I walk around with rose coloured glasses (as much as I reckon they would be really cool). Instead I am reminded that “I came here with love”

This morning as I went for my morning coffee, I listened to a mum scathe her child in front of everyone. The words rang through my mind “I came here for love”. I have no idea what she went through that morning, nor is it any of my business. It is however my purpose to be love in all that I do. It doesn’t mean that her actions are justified and that the protection of the little boy isn’t paramount, instead it is about the way I choose to spend the next moments in that time. I could create more angst or I can simply send her some peace and patience.

Today was a perfect reminder for me to be love in all that I do. After all it is who we truly are. It doesn’t mean that life is always presented with unicorns and rainbows, I get it shit happens. Instead what I do know is that I can choose to respond with love, truth and personal responsibility in all that I do. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

10.What is your why?

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I watched the movie Collateral Beauty a few days ago. It is one of those movies that leaves you pondering and for me wiping my tears and snot from my face. There were so many profound lessons and moments that I took away, and for parts of it I am still processing the dynamics. It was about connection of life and the interpretation of time, death and love. Within it there was the collateral beauty of what it all brings and perception of what life truly means and is.

Life is so much about connection and without it out we lay dormant.  For me right now I have made a decision to relocate to another state. In just under a short month I will move to Queensland. So what is my why?  I feel like it is time to challenge myself to a place where for most of the time the skies are blue and I don’t have to wear 4 layers of clothing to feel warm. Ok so that is not the only reason. For me connection is so much more and right now at this time I am not feeling it in Melbourne. I am so blessed with an abundance of family and friends and for 42 years I have called it home but I just feel like there is more. When we truly connect to who we are and what we are here to do with this one precious life we are in flow.

Life changes and for most of the time it just is. It presents us with challenges and hurdles that we wish we could simply F*&k right off. It is what we do with these moments that ultimately shape us to the people we are and the role that we play in our world. We can either choose to feel like we have been hard done by or we can turn it around and live from a place of harmony and joy. It doesn’t mean that it will be easy for we cannot have one without the other. We would never know joy if we did not experience pain. We shy away from pain and the feelings that bring us the most discomfort because we feel like it is too hard to go there. We connect with others through our emotions and experiences.  If we are not delving into the depth of our soul, connection waivers and perhaps we are only half living.

So when I reflect on this next chapter of my life instead of analysing the crap out of what if, I simply say to myself why not? Am I fearful of the next chapter and moving to another state away from everything that I have ever known? Absoufuckinlutley! But you know what I am more afraid of not going and never knowing.  What I do know is what life has taught me so far. It has taught me to take risks, to know that life is measured by the love we give and most importantly to be of service to precious humanity. To be kind and loyal to one another, even in the moments of distaste and injustice.  Actions of destruct are never OK nor are they pleasant. What I have come to understand is that hurt people, hurt people and where there are so many disharmonies we simply must be peace. What I do know is that my why is simply to be love living and to find the beauty of all that is. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

3. Sometimes it is the fleeting moments that teach us the most.

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Life presents us with so much and it is entirely up to us in how we choose to deal with it. Sometimes the moments can be long and arduous and others may be short and fleeting. It can also depend entirely where we are at any particular time on how we choose to respond and react to the situation. There is a saying that I particularly love and it reads “people come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime” Sometimes the reason hits us like a ton of bricks and throws us into a whirlwind that we did not anticipate. It can be beautiful and scary all at the same time.

I have been working on writing my book for almost a solid year now and I have finally finished. Fifteen years of an epic tale (even if I must say so myself) told in 36 chapters. When I set out to tell my story it was to create awareness about suicide and prevention. The lessons that is has taught me through the writing have been paramount and ones that I feel will always continue to teach me. The difference now is that the lessons have been learnt and the story is done. What transpires along the way is where the magic truly happens.

Life happens regardless of what bubble we are living in. I truly feel that our lives can throw us curveballs to monitor just how well we have learnt the lesson. Sometimes it is the fleeting moments that teach us the most. When we are present and in the moment, it is then that we can truly appreciate where we have been and what is yet to come. When we get stuck in where we have been and keep rehashing the story there is no growth that can occur and drama continues to play itself out.  It is heavy and the energy is dormant. I’m not sure about you but for me it is a pretty difficult way to live and there is no flow. Magic can’t come in and disconnection to self occurs.

Instead when we live with an open heart, remain in our integrity and are our true authentic selves, life flows and is at ease. It is easy to be dramatic and blame. Far out I have known this for so long and to be perfectly honest it is boring and dull. It doesn’t mean that the pain and hurt doesn’t not exist, rather it a choice to live without fear and ego. Ultimately what do we have to lose?

Don’t get me wrong some lessons have been tough and I can still wear my angry pants. What is different is that now I recognise my self-worth and understand that the most important relationship that I can have is the one that I have with myself. So no matter what happens in life and what is presented I can only learn lo love more deeply and my heart can never be broken it can only be more open.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxox

25. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them

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Christmas festivities have subsided for another year and the quite lull is welcoming. The season seems to provoke so much and with it an avalanche of emotions, good bad and indifferent. For some the empty chairs  is what hits the hardest, for others the financial strain soars and the toxins we induce into our bodies aren’t always that great. But hey, Merry Christmas and HO HO HO! Me personally I can be the Grinch who stole Christmas and seriously doesn’t give a F&*K or I can sway to the peace and prosperity that the season brings. It all depends on which day you speak to me.  I really dislike the emphasis that we seem to place on one day and the commercialism of it all. How about we don’t wait for one day to be happy and all things holly? How about we practise kindness and compassion every day?

Now please don’t take what I have to say as gospel as often what I am writing is also a reminder to myself? Do I practise kindness and compassion every day? Heck no! I don’t go out being a deliberate asshole but there are certainly times when I haven’t taken the time or respect to fill myself up with what I need so how can I possibly be doing it for others?  It doesn’t mean I have to go into the story about it all rather recognising and having an awareness about what is happening for me not to me.

It has been a while since I have written my blog. Instead I have spent the most part of the year writing a book that has been in the making for almost 15 years. The book is primarily about suicide awareness and prevention, my own journey of mental illness and many roads of recovery. So when I read the affirmation for today a number of thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about Christmas and what it meant for me and then I began to reflect on what a year it has been.  There is just so much! Where do we start really?

What I did notice most poignantly was that the “universe works on many principles” and indeed it does. There is so much focus on searching and looking for that one thing to make it better, for that one thing to make it right. All along everything we need is already inside of us we just have to work our way to find it. Sometimes the search is long and arduous and other times it can be magical and quick. Other times it flashes before our very eyes and sometimes it takes the wind out of us. Whatever it may be is right for you and what works best. We try so hard to please everybody else that we simply forget the most important aspect of self. That everything is perfectly imperfect just the way it is. If you want it to be different, choice is simple, make your own rules and create your own dance. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoox

24. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances.

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There seems to be a lot of discussion about the recent elections and new president of America. No, this is not another post or blog about what Trump has said or done. Quite frankly he no longer interests me. Instead I can actually sit and write about what he taught me in such a short amount of time and I am grateful. I refuse to give him any more air time or power. I was in a bakery picking up some chocolate for my dad’s birthday when I heard the news that he had won. I shuddered and tried to extrapolate it from my mind. I was on my way to my dad’s celebration dinner and I didn’t want to let the news dampen how I was feeling.

Later that night as predicted it was all over Facebook and the distaste and disharmony spewed onto my newsfeed. That is except for a few. There was an extremely funny comparison to a dinosaur cartoon that he eerily resembled from the 80’s. Most importantly there were other perspectives on the recent result of the presidency of America. First things first it was about owning the shadow within us. Trump only pushes our buttons because there is a trait that resides inside of us. Feels uncomfortable I know, but if you were to be really honest with yourself I am sure there has been a snippet in time where you may have been racist or ignorant towards somebody or something. I know there have been times in my life where I have had made judgments on others. Not entirely proud of it but our shadows allow us to seek truth and grow.

The other perspective was about stepping up in love. If we are hurling abuse at him are we not just as bad or distasteful as he is? Please let’s make no mistake; I am not a fan of Trump. What I can say is that he is teaching me who I am not. I want to be able to see or hear about him and not feel triggered. Instead I want to create and feel more love and compassion for the world that we live in. There is one thing for sure the world needs a whole lot of love right now.

What if Trump is showing us what it is that we need to be? If we don’t want to be like him, then who do we aspire to be?  What if we aspire to be the best version of ourselves? What if we stopped looking outside of ourselves and know that the answers we seek are already within. To know that there is no guru or leader other than the one that resides inside of who we truly are. What if it is about stepping up in love, compassion and integrity? I know that I have been able to shift my perspective about the election because I don’t want to waste this one precious life feeling insecure about my future. Instead I want to be able to turn it around and follow my bliss. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

21. If you want Peace, stop fighting, if you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thought.

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Funny old universe! I have a few hours off at the moment so I have taken some time to write at one of my favourite cafes in Siem Reap. It is called the Peace Café and a time for me to go inwards and spend some time with me. As I was leaving my room I had the affirmation for the day in my hand. In the next minute or so it disappeared! Don’t ask me where it could have possibly gone in 2.5 seconds but none the less I couldn’t find it. I resisted it for a few minutes and could feel myself becoming annoyed and frustrated with myself so I decided to stop fighting with my mind and have landed right here with an affirmation at my table. In fact the café is filled with peaceful quotes. Funny that!

One of the very reasons why I love Cambodia so much is that there is so much flow and serendipity. I am on purpose and even when I do get into my head it doesn’t take me long to get out of it. I mean all you had to do is smile at a Khmer person and the smile back ignites you straight back into your heart. So when I sat at my table, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at myself. I smiled, had a chuckle and knew that where I was, was exactly where I am meant to be right now. In this moment surrounded by trees and to my left there is a poster of a half-naked man advertising a local Cambodian Performance. Trees, fairies, muscly half naked men, food, peace, I mean what more could I ask for? I mean the password for the Wi-Fi was compassion. Really! When you get out your head and begin to truly feel life simply flows with such grace and ease. The magic of getting lost is where you are meant to be found.

When all we have is the moment the thoughts of the past are irrelevant. When we turn our focus to be of service, compassion and love the fight in our head simply stops. When we love ourselves enough to stop wasting time on this one precious life and to do what matters most in our own hearts is where the peace begins. I can’t help but feel my amazing, abundant, inspiring cherished little sister Nadia. When I feel into her, my heart expands with so much love. She is the epitome of peace and teaches me so much about being in the moment. She may have an intellectual disability and is differently abled than what you and I may be but she far exceeds my ability to feel, to be authentic, to love unconditionally, to be present and to simply show up and be real. For when we peel off the layers and deal with what comes up with integrity and compassion all we can simply be is peace and love. If you want Peace, stop fighting, if you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thought. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xoxoxo

15. Every day is an adventure.

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Today I have spent most of the day in bed and nesting around my home. Not because I am sick or because I wanted to pull the doona over my head and wish the day away. Rather the contrary. I got home quite home late last night. I was at a fundraiser and had a night out with my sister and some friends. I danced like a rock star (well I thought so).  So this morning or rather mid-morning when I woke up everything felt sore and sorry. I had to laugh at myself because clearly my body hadn’t moved in that way for a particularly long time. My arms ached and I could barely move them above my head. I am pretty sure this was from the copious amount of times I was waving my arms in the air or fist pumping to Bon Jovi classic song “Living on a Prayer”.

When I read the affirmation for today I have reflected on my very lazy day. Was today an adventure? Did I make very moment count? Well it was an adventure for me as I spent the day resting my body. While I rest I am also able to fill myself back up to keep doing the work that I do.  I watched a movie that made me laugh and have indulged in way too many slices of raisin toast. Ok so I may not have had the most productive day but it was a day that I definitely needed to recoup and reenergise.

One of the main reasons that I love to write is that it gives me the opportunity to learn more about myself but also to inspire and allow myself to dig deep and uncover what I may not possibly be open to otherwise. One of the first aspects that come to my forefront when pondered the statement “every day is an adventure”, I particularly considered war torn countries and all who suffer at the expense of civil unrest. I thought about the lives that are taken from famine and living in 3rd world conditions while I wake up being sore from dancing the night before. First world problems! I know! It doesn’t mean that I have to discount my life and world rather it is about creating awareness about the differences.

Such a huge contrast and injustice in the way lives are led. It doesn’t mean that we have to feel guilty or remorseful for what we have in lives, rather the contrary. I know for me the practise of gratitude is one that is essential to wellness. What it has allowed me to further consider is take a stock take of where I am at and allow my priorities to be considered. This week has been particularly inspiring with connections and synchronicities that have added a rhythm to the dance of my flow. It further allows me to explore the difference we can all make in the world we live.  Every day is an adventure. Blessed be and so it. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoo

14. HOORAY

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When I read the statement for today my first reaction “F*N HOORAY” Hooray for what? I am particularly tired today. The last few weeks have been a curveball of emotions that have been thrown thick and fast. I have had no choice but to allow them roll and hit wherever they have fallen.  There have been a lot of endings and in particular the emotional downpour of two of my friends who have lost a parent. As spiritual as one may be we are also humans with raw emotions and feelings. As much as I am aware of this life being a place that we stop by to explore and that our souls are infinite, there is also sadness that needs to be acknowledged and truly felt.

I also happened to be at the hospital when my friend’s dad left this earth. It has left me with feelings that I haven’t been exposed to before and my head has been in a bit of a spin. I have felt like I have been floating a little and to be perfectly honest I must admit I like having my head in the clouds. So in perfect timing I had a weekend away planned and was in sync with needing to collaborate and ground to where I am at. I loved being away and embraced the dose of being close to a beach but being back I have fallen back down with a thump. My body is tired and I feel like I could sleep for a week.

So when I read the statement that read “Hooray” I was like really! As I sit back and reflect what I do know is that it is about honouring my feelings and emotions about the last few weeks. In the mix we also were required to reapply for our positions at work as our contract came to an end. I am back for another 12 months, so surrendering was paramount to not going stir crazy to a situation that I had absolutely no control over at that particular time. For me it is about acknowledging the fear of loss and knowing that in our lifetime it is something that we will succumb to in one way shape or form.

I know that for me each time I am presented with the lessons of loss and grief that I am in a different space with a different set of tools in my “box”. It doesn’t make me a master it simply makes me human and real. There are times where I feel totally out of control and fearful about what may or may not happen but I know that I do my best to embrace my shadows and learn what they can teach me. My grumpiness and loss of patience teaches me to stop and reflect on the importance on what I choose to spend my energy on. It may not always be the way that I would like to be and act but I can say “Hooray” for all of our feelings shadows and all. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxo

11. Welcome to another glorious day.

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I can’t help but feel for all the homeless people on Melbourne streets tonight. Today truly feels like winter and as I whinged and moaned about the cold I stopped. First world problems, walking a few 100 metres to get to a warm car, warm house, warm office. Outside right now is freezing. There is sadness for those who are spending tonight and many other countless nights on the streets not only in Melbourne but in so many parts of the world.

It would be easy to write about welcoming another glorious day. I wake up in a warm bed, switch my heater on, have a hot shower, fill my belly with nutritious food and start my day. How does someone who sleeps on the streets welcome another glorious day? The amount of resilience, strength and courage that is demonstrated for those “sleeping rough” is absolutely heroic.  I have heard myself whinge when my ears slightly ache in the cold if I have forgotten to wear a beanie. I have been so blessed in my life with shelter, food and ALWAYS having somewhere to live. For so many others it is not the same.

It is not about feeling guilty or not deserving of what we do have, it is more about awareness of social justice, equality and freedom for all. We live in a country where homelessness should not exist. I don’t generally listen to the news but I have been intrigued by people’s comments, viewpoints about the recently reported “homelessness” issue.  There is a notion that people who are “homeless” should take what they can get. When sleeping on the street is a safer option that a “rooming house” that is offered by the government, surely as a collective we can feel compassion.

There has been a lot of coverage of late in regards to the issue and of course the perception of solutions seems appropriate. I work in mental health and the housing system is in crisis overload. The housing that is offered is at times depressing and dangerous. I don’t feel it is fair to blame any one person or political party but perhaps more of an awareness of what responsibility I can have in creating change. I am involved in some local projects. The Period Project supports women with sanitary items and dignity. There are so many projects that can be supported, so many ways to create change.

I don’t have a definitive answer for homelessness in Melbourne yet alone the rest of the world. What I do know is awareness and personal responsibility that we have to each other. Over 6,000 young people are forced to either ‘couch surf’ or ‘sleep rough’ every night in Victoria. These figures only include young people, not to mention the countless others. So how do you welcome each and every day?

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xx

10. A mind at peace, a mind focused on not harming other, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.

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Funny or not that this affirmation is presented to me today. It has been a bit of a theme in the last couple of days. A dear friend actually reminded me yesterday about this very subject. As much as it may make an interesting read about who did what I am not really concerned in the drama of it.  What has come to fruition for me in the last few months has been a mixed bag of lessons that to say the least I haven’t enjoyed. To be perfectly honest I can’t wait to F&*k them right off! What I do know and am very much at peace with is that I also have the power to recreate any story that I choose.

So in true Mercury Retrograde style the area has been revisited and reviewed. I can’t help but have wanted sing a “in your face” song followed by a big fat “I told you so!” I did neither.  I just thank god for precious friends that remind me exactly how it is. The fact of the matter is that I am passionate about justice, truth, responsibility and equality. So when these areas of my life are personally affected there is a shadow that has wanted to lash out. Those close to me would have heard various profanities coming whilst wearing my angry pants and  I am sure I was a delight to be around.

What I love most about the beautiful souls I choose to share my life with is that they hold a space, but also give me the news pretty quickly. So when I read the affirmation about today I had a giggle and was reminded about the snippets of advice that have been gently offered throughout the course of the last few days. What was really profound was listening to the beloved Dr Wayne Dyer. I listen to him in the car especially when I am in traffic and rather than be frustrated, I choose it to be a time to listen to some words of wisdom. There is always something that I am meant to hear and yesterday was no exception. He quoted “when you seek revenge, you may as well dig two graves”.  It jolted me right out of my head and into my heart of forgiveness and compassion.

Whilst there is still some searching for peace, I can at least acknowledge that this is certainly the path that I strongly desire. It doesn’t make the actions of another justified or accepted it simply is acknowledging that you are not allowing them to take any more of your energy. Forgiveness for self is equally as important and is first and foremost. What I recognise are the lessons of boundaries that have been presented. So whilst this has been an area of my life that has required some much needed attention, the universe certainly delivered. So with grace and ease I give thanks. A mind at peace, a mind focused on not harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxxoxo