“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit” – Bankay

0ae60cf3fa4c9d12943119d09336feae--happiness-is-quotes-choose-happiness

I was watching the Bachelorette the other night. Yes I know it is a highly intelligent and stimulating show. One of the guys on the show stated “I just want to be happy”. I was intrigued by what he had said and thought, does this mean you are not happy? Does it mean you are only happy once you are in a relationship?  How do you know what happy means and how is happiness defined?  If we don’t experience the extremity of sadness how do we know what happy feels like?

Today was my Nonna’s birthday. She passed over 6 years ago. I sat on the beach for a few hours today and remembered all of the beautiful lessons that I learnt from her. I felt her resilience, strength and courage in all that she endured. She had a tough life. My Nonno completed suicide and she was left to raise 9 children on her own. Her smile and laughter was far and few between. I felt happy in my sadness of missing her and wishing that I could hear her just one more time.  As I sat on the rocks and closed my eyes I could feel the whispers of her wings close by. I felt sad that she is no longer here but happy that there was so much to remember and smile about.  Can we be happy in our sadness? Why is it that we feel so uncomfortable with feelings that don’t elate us? I know for me that so much growth happens from pain. It is where I have the opportunity to dig deep and learn more about why I am here in this one precious life.

So when I came across this quote today I reflected it back to happiness and what that meant for me.  I don’t think we are always meant to be happy and why do we perceive sadness as negative? Maybe those times are just “rest” times in our lives. For me happiness is about being content in where I am no matter what is presented. It certainly doesn’t mean that I always have my shit together in fact far from it. It is not about one person being better or superior than another. We are all in different stages of our lives; this is what makes us imperfectly perfect. There is a process to healing and we all learn when we are meant to. I am not sure that we ever work it all out. I do feel that is a work in progress and personal responsibility for where we are at is the freedom of happiness.

I don’t want to wait for another human being to make me happy and quite frankly it is not fair to have that expectation of another. It doesn’t mean that others don’t bring happiness to our lives; in fact the core of connection is pivotal. What it does mean is not having an expectation that another person or situation can give us something that we cannot give ourselves. If we can’t find a sense of happiness within then we can’t expect it from another. The best relationship that we are ever going to have is the one we have with ourselves.  If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Blessed be. So it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

13. F.E.A.R – Face everything and rise.

e8db514ae2e1d7287f4e79c2b27a3189--quotes-about-relationships-relationship-fear-quotes

So I made the big move to Gold Coast Queensland and have been here just under a week.  I felt really compelled to write this morning as it always puts me in a place of grounding and alignment. What came to me was the juxtaposition of what the word fear can actually mean. I don’t recall where I heard that FEAR can also mean “Face everything and rise” and nor does it actually matter. What is important for me right now is how it resonates and where I choose to place my energy.

The Gold Coast is a picture of paradise. I could certainly spend the next 400 or so words about the picturesque settings that I am in total awe of. Instead what feels more important is to appreciate the contrast of what Queensland means to me right now and how I am feeling in the face of fear. Fear is paralysing and stops us from living love and from our hearts. When we live from our head space it is debilitating and sends us into a spiral of chaos and big fat brain drain! Trust me I know.

What I continue to learn is if something isn’t challenging us then we are not learning and evolving. Not sure about you but the aspect of staying the same scares the crap out of me. So I have had to remind myself of that quite a few times this week. The move has been one that I know is absolutely something that I have needed to do on so many levels. That doesn’t mean that “fear” doesn’t turn up on occasions and I can send myself into a little tail spin. After all we are humans first and foremost. We can go about being all spiritual and stuff but what does that mean anyways? I would much rather not go into labels and instead simply be real and raw. We tend to shy away time and time again from feelings of pain and uncomfortableness, but these are the ones that stem the most growth.

So for me right now, I know that this is a time of total transition. Yes there is fear around the unknown. At times there is pure joy and others an emotion I can’t even identify with because I have never quite been here before. I know that I wake up to an ocean of pure bliss and the sounds of waves which sing to my soul. I can also sit at a coffee shop and watch the connections of friends meeting up and miss home. I can choose to live in the fear of the unknown or I can embrace every opportunity that this sea change has to offer and rise. It doesn’t mean that I am not going to go through a range of “stuff” at any given time. What it does teach me is to live love, get outside of my head and create from a space of freedom and compassion. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

9. Everyone Matters.

mental-health-quote-11-1-healthyplace

 

I have woken really early this morning and can’t help but think about the murder of a 13 month old girl. Two separate friends told me about it yesterday and I just wasn’t ready to hear it. It is literally down the road and clearly has had some affect if it is want I am thinking about at 5:00am in the morning.  When a mother decides to take the life of their own child there has to be something seriously wrong. I had a read about what had occurred and the mother was taken to a local police station where she was not able to be interviewed due to her psychiatric illness. The devastation fell upon my heart as I guessed that this is what may have happened. So much sadness not only for the precious cherub that was murdered by her own mother but for a woman who was so unwell that this is what she succumbed to.

Yesterday morning I woke up to read the final chapters of my book. It was predominantly about my cousin Cathy who took her own life over 2 years ago. I still can’t comprehend at times that she has gone and that this was her fate that took place. It is in fact very true and still quite raw. I try really hard not focus on the heaviness that surrounds this situation, rather it allows me to be more determined to create change, to do more and to absolutely finish the final moments of my book about suicide awareness and prevention. Every 3 hours somebody in Australia chooses to take their own life. So by the time you have woken up for the day at least 2 or 3 people would have died. Not sure about you but this statistic creates heaviness beyond what I can describe but a surge of determination to do more.

My own experience and history of mental health ultimately has led me to this one precious life that I am now leading. I am beyond grateful for the resilience, strength and courage that it has taught me.  So how does all this connect to a woman in Reservoir that murdered her 13 month old? For me the questions furiously circled my mind. How did this go unnoticed? What happened to her? Why was she driven to do what she did? She just didn’t wake up one morning and decide to kill her child? From what I have read there had also been 13 accounts of reported domestic violence. (Who know if this is true?) It doesn’t matter because it is all a story and drama. Let’s get to the core of humanity and why she couldn’t reach out before she got to that point? Why my cousin Cathy who has an extended family of 70+ people but still felt that this was her only choice. These are the issues that are important to me and one that we all have a moral obligation to create a world that is safe. It is not OK that the life of this child is no longer but it feels worse not do anything about it. Everyone matters. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

xoxoxo

5. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step.”

 

17990753_747639212069435_7217054761812259275_n

(Dad & I)

I have been in Italy for the last week or so. Dad and I have travelled back to his motherland so he has the opportunity to see his family. When I saw the quote for today I thought about him at 72 years of age and making the decision to travel. I don’t really need an excuse to travel or explore so when the opportunity presented itself I was more than happy to go with him. It certainly hasn’t been a holiday where there has been lots of sightseeing of “things” but what I have encountered are lessons that will always remain.

From the moment we began our trip together I have loved watching my dad and all that he encounters along the way. It is funny that at some point in your life the roles of parenting reverse. This can be confronting but it can also be a time where the opportunity is one where growth is paramount. Dad hadn’t been inside an international airport for almost 30 years and he was in awe and captivated by what he saw. I admit there was some trepidation about travelling with my dad. At times we have a typical father\daughter relationship but for most of the time he is simply my dad. Watching him with fresh eyes and not just as my “dad” has been a lesson of empathy and compassion.

Dad was born and raised in a small town in Calabria. The main town in which we have spent our time has a population of almost 1,000 people. I am from Melbourne, Australia so one can imagine the contrast and extremities of difference. I have loved watching dad in his surroundings and being reunited with family and friends that he hasn’t seen for almost 30 years.  It is a feeling beyond words and one in which has allowed me to understand my dad in a way I have not known before.

For him especially making a small step and deciding to reunite with his siblings has meant so much more. His journey will always belong to him and whatever needs to take place for him will. For me this small step has allowed me to be in a space that I have not felt before. Usually consumed and challenged with time and a lengthy to do list, I have been forced to slow down and just be.

I have loved the serenity and mindfulness of being in each moment. The art of detachment in drama is one in which I am learning the most. After all Italian families and drama can inevitably go hand in hand. I am savouring in life lessons of what is important and what matters most. Being open and present is important especially when Italian is not my native language. The freedom of simplicity is bliss and one in which I value most. Sometimes the smallest times allows the greatest lessons to be learnt. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step”. Blessed be.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxo

2. Shame stops you from stepping up.

16992202_1288363481283788_6738858587831260639_o

 

Last week I attended Aboriginal Cultural Awareness Training. It was inspiring, educational and tinged with sadness and shame. One of the trainers spoke about how “shame stops us from stepping up” I loved what this meant. This was not only in the context of the training but also the meaning this represented in life. My mind dives into all kinds of things where we may carry shame. I know for me personally there was so much shame connected to mental illness, failed relationships and all kinds of “stuff”. Trust me carrying the shame serves absolutely no purpose, so I loved when I heard that “it” stops you from stepping up.

We are ashamed for a number of reasons and all of our stories are different and unique. Shame is judgement which separates. Generally the shame and judgment is the one that we tend to place on ourselves. Seems ridiculous that we would do this, yet we tend do. Sure there are others that may make us feel ashamed. This can be for a number of different reasons for a multitude of motives. One of my ex partners would tell me that I was “damaged goods”, charming I know. Had I have known what I know now I quite possibly may have damaged his “goods” (Just jokes). The shame connected to this comment encompassed many facets. This is just a small snippet of a story but the shame stopped me from stepping up and stepping out of the toxic relationship.

I’m not about to get into the he said, she said story, rather what happens when shame exists. It is an emotion that is futile and keeps us stuck. So why did I allow this to happen? There was a part of me that did believe I was “damaged goods”.  I had already been married and felt that I had “failed” so there was shame associated. Culturally I had come from a place where “divorce” wasn’t something that just happened. So again I placed more shame upon myself. I somewhat accepted the comment of “damaged goods” because I somehow believed I was. This was not only because of my past but especially the label of mental illness that I had been carrying and the indoctrinated beliefs around these areas. My god what I story I had embellished myself in! The truth is no other person can make you feel that way unless there is a part of you that carries that emotion.

My self-worth at the point in my life was not something that I recognised. It was more comfortable to sit in shame than to actually acknowledge it. So instead these days I am able to shift the shame around. I am able to forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated less than what I deserved. I can take responsibility that in some way I created that situation. Shame is what we believe and perceive. It is an opportunity to grow and learn from our experiences rather than dwelling in what is no longer. The lessons of integrity, strength and courage far outweigh the heaviness and detriment of shames. Unveiling what truly matters is where the magic unfolds.

With a magic of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

24. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances.

14962745_664323033734387_896669038998576246_n

There seems to be a lot of discussion about the recent elections and new president of America. No, this is not another post or blog about what Trump has said or done. Quite frankly he no longer interests me. Instead I can actually sit and write about what he taught me in such a short amount of time and I am grateful. I refuse to give him any more air time or power. I was in a bakery picking up some chocolate for my dad’s birthday when I heard the news that he had won. I shuddered and tried to extrapolate it from my mind. I was on my way to my dad’s celebration dinner and I didn’t want to let the news dampen how I was feeling.

Later that night as predicted it was all over Facebook and the distaste and disharmony spewed onto my newsfeed. That is except for a few. There was an extremely funny comparison to a dinosaur cartoon that he eerily resembled from the 80’s. Most importantly there were other perspectives on the recent result of the presidency of America. First things first it was about owning the shadow within us. Trump only pushes our buttons because there is a trait that resides inside of us. Feels uncomfortable I know, but if you were to be really honest with yourself I am sure there has been a snippet in time where you may have been racist or ignorant towards somebody or something. I know there have been times in my life where I have had made judgments on others. Not entirely proud of it but our shadows allow us to seek truth and grow.

The other perspective was about stepping up in love. If we are hurling abuse at him are we not just as bad or distasteful as he is? Please let’s make no mistake; I am not a fan of Trump. What I can say is that he is teaching me who I am not. I want to be able to see or hear about him and not feel triggered. Instead I want to create and feel more love and compassion for the world that we live in. There is one thing for sure the world needs a whole lot of love right now.

What if Trump is showing us what it is that we need to be? If we don’t want to be like him, then who do we aspire to be?  What if we aspire to be the best version of ourselves? What if we stopped looking outside of ourselves and know that the answers we seek are already within. To know that there is no guru or leader other than the one that resides inside of who we truly are. What if it is about stepping up in love, compassion and integrity? I know that I have been able to shift my perspective about the election because I don’t want to waste this one precious life feeling insecure about my future. Instead I want to be able to turn it around and follow my bliss. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

20. Within you is the kingdom of serenity, which can create all the prosperity that you could ever want.

 

 13962761_651852891630965_3180908240335419609_n

I have been in Cambodia for the last 10 or so days, Cambodia is also affectionately known as the Kingdom of Wonder. It is a country that I have grown to love and admire for so many reasons and one in which I continue to explore each time I visit. On the eve of my 42nd birthday I have some “down” time to reflect on the wonder and serenity and all that it encapsulates. Part of my role in Cambodia is to co-facilitate groups of volunteers with Head Heart and Hand Holidays. http://www.headheartandhandholidays.com.au/. The 2nd group of volunteers arrived yesterday and for most of the days I am in action and logistics mode, so to fall into my heart and write feels like home.

I love what I do here for so many reasons and to put it into words perhaps wouldn’t do it any justice. The feeling associated with a country that allows me to truly envelop all that I am is beyond anything that I could have possibly ever imagined. There is so much growth and depth beyond the surface of what is.  This is now the 5th time that I have travelled to Cambodia in the last 3 years. For some time each time I visited Cambodia all I wanted to do was come straight back. The simplicity and gratitude that I received was all the prosperity that I could ever want. Peace, love and freedom are the true gifts that I have been able to unwrap no matter where I am in the world and for this Cambodia I am so enriched because of you.

Sometimes in life we seem to be searching outside of ourselves to make us feel happier or complete. Instead the gifts of what we truly acquire are nestled within us and finding them is where the magic truly happens. I no longer feel that I have to run to Cambodia to make me happy or complete. Nobody or anything can do that for you and believing that it will can only set you up to fail. It changed my perspective of life and how I choose to live it now. One of our volunteers today reminded me with her words. “We are only here for such a short time, I choose to say yes and then work out the details or whatever later” It was a gentle yet swift reminder as I close the last day before I turn 42. So the greatest gift I can give myself is a kingdom of serenity and one in which is filled with peace love and freedom and of course some cheeky fairy fun! It’s ironic that a country that is considered to 3rd world is so abundant with gifts that can only be felt, for this is the greatest gift that we can truly give ourselves. Be raw, be vulnerable and be you. Withinyou is the kingdom of serenity, which can create all the prosperity that you could ever want. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

6. The essence of greatness is the ability to choose personal fulfilment in circumstances where others choose madness.

10394636_10154046126410982_7815912773723638148_n

I caught the train into the city this morning for a work meeting. I had a book in my back pack and was looking forward to a change of scenery. As I got comfortable I realised that the guy sitting next to me was talking on his telephone. At this point it was the occasional yes\no and before long I knew that he played soccer, what he had done on the weekend and his mum had also been to Tasmania. I was only half way through my trip when another guy stood next to me. His phone rang and before long I knew he had the flu, was in bed all weekend and would love to catch up with whoever he was talking to on the phone. My head was screaming “Faaaaaaaaark! Really do you have to talk on the train and so loud?” I was tired grumpy. Instead of being in the moment of personal fulfilment I choose madness and I easily could have told either of them to just shut up!

I am generally pretty in touch with where I am at and personal fulfilment is pretty much the most logical and peaceful choice. Yet time and time again we tend to get involved in the story and drama of situations. This is something that I especially notice when there has been an injustice served. Yes it is appalling, yes it isn’t fair but what intrigues me about humans is the amount of energy that is consumed in creating more harm. I often scroll right down at people’s comments about the way that they see the world. Only if there was a deeper understanding that the world we see is simply a reflection.  The amount of effort that it takes to write a status\word, whatever it may be about how crappy the world is just adding to the rest of the disservice that is already there.  Once upon a time I would challenge these notions now I have a much more solid understanding that it is not my job to do so. If another chooses to learn then the teacher will appear.

It is far easier to choose madness and jump on the drama train rather than to actually do something about it.  It doesn’t mean that the act that had been served is one that is justified but adding to the madness does not heal nor does it create a better universe for us to live in. It only exacerbates and more shitty energy is transmitted. It doesn’t mean we have to be happy clappy and walk around with a daisy chain. Be mindful of your thoughts, take note of your actions and notice if they are coming from  a place of love?

I am not here to preach to let you know that this is what I do ALL the time, instead far from it. What I do know is that there is an awareness of where I am at and I make a decision to show up and be me every single day. Some days you will get a shinier version than others but it will always be authentic. I choose personal fulfilment. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE love

 

Sonia xoxox

3.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

download (9)

 

I tossed and turned about which affirmation calendar to write from today.  I was possibly avoiding the one that I am writing about as it is a topic that I have struggled with for many years. One that constantly needs reaffirming and re connecting with. How grand life would be if we were simply taught how to love ourselves. Instead we are labelled and have a constant disposition to compare ourselves to others. We can often be our own worst critic and it sucks. I’ve just turned 41 and it took me a really long time to accept my inner goddess and beauty.

Ex partners didn’t necessarily help the cause either. I could sit and blame them for all the inappropriate things that were ever said but that would say more about me than it would them. I stayed in unloving relationships because I simply didn’t love myself enough to walk away. The lessons have been harsh and some have taken me years to unpack and really learn. It sometimes takes me a while.

It was only the other night when I was with a friend, in a public toilet where we decided to have a conversation about beauty. I am sure I looked super attractive in the wee hours of Sunday morning after having had a significant amount of white wine. I am super convinced we would have sounded really rational and coherent (not). My point is that even after all this time stuff still comes up about beauty. I know I am a compassionate, kind and loving person but I was never taught to feel beautiful. I was never called beautiful so when I hear it now I find it difficult to allow myself to hear it. After so many white wines, my beautiful girlfriend allowed me to feel into the crap that I had been burying. Ok so the scene may not have been the most eloquent but you know what, it worked.

So it has taken me such a long time to realise and understand what it means to be beautiful. It is not necessarily about being “pretty”. Anyone can be pretty, instead for me it is about recognising boundaries. Treating myself with kindness and compassion first and foremost, being of service to humanity. It is about not having to adhere or accept untoward actions of another. It is to know that it is not my responsibility but instead theirs to accept their own journey and fate.

So when I sit and write about the affirmation “You are beautiful” there is so much more that what we see, most importantly it is what we feel. It is not just teaching young women to feel beautiful but for all of humanity to feel beautiful within themselves.  Imagine a world where this was possible. If we all felt and lived through beauty what a wonderful world it would be. You are beautiful. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

regrets

When I sat down today to write my blog I hadn’t quite expected what was going to come up. Life has a funny way of revealing itself to you at the most opportune and serendipitous moments. As I read the affirmation today I can recall past conversations especially about my last relationship. I can hear myself saying “I regret convincing myself that I didn’t want to have children” when deep down I discovered I would have welcomed being a mum with open arms. I have caught myself saying “ I regret not loving myself enough to leave a relationship that was not in alignment with who I was” A lot of bloody regret right there I reckon and judging by the way my stomach is churning whilst I am writing, I am gathering it doesn’t do a whole lot for your cellular body either.

When I go into my heart space it simply makes me feel sad and justifiably so. This has been an issue that with time and healing is one that has unmistakably allowed me to grow in so many other areas of my life. What I have come to terms with is that I may not be a biological mum in this time and whatever will be simply will. In the process I love and embrace my role as Zia to my kooky, inspiring, compassionate and amazing nephews and nieces.

So for me now it is all about perception and truly not feeling regret for past decisions. Even as I type the word regret the vibration feels shitty and dull. Instead what I opt is to fully embrace the lessons and amazing experiences that I have been able to delve into because of a relationship that did not serve me.

Whether or not I am a biological mum in this lifetime is irrelevant, rather for me it is about the love that I am able to share with others is most prevalent. I have worked in child protection over my community services career. There have been plenty of children who are born to parents who simply through lack of love of self cannot love another and this is truly sad. I know now through the learning of relationships that didn’t serve me I have a lot of love to give. So how can I have regret when I have learnt to love without conditions?

Whilst this one has been a tough and sad lesson for me that I am embracing the silver lining. It is about teaching and inspiring others to fully feel into their heart space and to be in relationships where love is unconditional. For unconditional love is the purest love of all and once you have discovered that love for yourself you are only able to attract the same. To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xx