5. “We hold the wisdom to the ancient ways; we will bring peace to these troubled days” – Lisa Dancing – Light

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(My dad and uncle doing what they do best)

This morning I woke up with a song on repeat in my mind. It got louder as I was making my cup of tea so I stopped and felt that there was perhaps a message that I needed to receive. There was one line in particular that resonated on a higher frequency “we hold the wisdom to the ancient ways; we will bring peace to these troubled days” [1] It got me feeling to a few days ago when my dad and uncle helped me do some maintenance around my house. In particular there was some trees that needed attention and they simply just got into it (as they do).

They have never received formal teaching, yet their knowledge of the land and the gardens that they cultivate is inspiring. The connection that they have to their land is admirable and so is their fitness level! I had such an invigorating morning being guided what to do. The natural flow of their work although infused with some disagreements about how it needed to proceed was completed in a few short hours. What I admired most was how it easily it came to them and I couldn’t help but feel a somewhat longing about the way they lived. It wasn’t a feeling that was new to me but it felt stronger and more alive in my being.

So, when I tuned into to the song that was on repeat in my mind this morning it was the line “we hold the wisdom to the ancient ways, we will bring peace to these troubled days” that perpetuated me to know that it was more than just a song and in fact a message for my higher self. I asked myself how can I do better when it comes to the earth that we live on? How can I continue to learn from the greatest teachers and wisdom that I literally have before me?

We live in a time and place where disconnection to self seems to be more often than not and connection and community feels somewhat disjointed. As a collective we have endured a lot of dissonance especially over the last few years. So how do we do better? I know that my why is to anchor my light and being deeply to the earth so that I can allow the love of the universe to work through me. Trust me I am not all love and light every hour of every day but what I do know it that being connected to nature is the only way. Listen to the nudges and the whispers of your soul for our highest self always knows the way. I am super grateful that the song played as I awoke as it was the perfect reminder. We simply have come to earth to remember who we truly are and to hold Mother Earth in deep reverence in all that she serves.

 

With a splash of Mermaid Magic and always let your heart lead the way.

Fairy wishes

Sonia

xxxx

 

[1] https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=l_Y1dHQtQxg

1. When your chaos becomes your clarity

 

 

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Listening to our inner voice and knowing what is present in our bodies is not something we are generally taught to navigate. The disconnect that happens when we are not in alignment with ourselves can cause all kinds of chaos. For me personally I have known this all too well and had lived in disconnect for quite some time. I became comfortably numb. I cascaded down a deep dark hole and the attempt to climb out whilst it was coated in pain also gifted me a remembrance. Depression and anxiety became my new best friend in my mid 20’ and whilst it was debilitating, I was honoured with gifts of grace and humility. I was confronted with almost the same experience 20 years later. I was fraught with shame, confusion and guilt that I hadn’t been able to keep myself well. Possibly one of the worst things to feed a highly anxious, depressed and disconnected self.

I had more than dabbled with the system of mental health services and as much as we are lucky to have them available, I found that a lot of the work that I did was self-lead. Ultimately only I could be the one to make the changes to connect back to self and truly remember who I was and why I am here. The traditional services of what was available just didn’t work for me and fortunately or unfortunately couldn’t meet me where I was at. I had a lot of tools under my belt, I had kept myself “well” for 20 years. I was working as a disability advocate and had also been a peer support case manager yet I found myself to be on the opposite side of receiving services. This was great for my self-esteem and another layer that added to my perceived failure at the time.

What I couldn’t see was the massive disconnect to self that didn’t happen overnight, instead it happened over time and I became to understand it on a deeper level and knowing. When we keep adjusting ourselves to reflect our external surroundings and don’t live in the truth of our being we continue to neglect the essence of who we are. We may adjust ourselves for work, to people please, to keep the peace, to avoid conflict, to be accepted into a false reality or simply because we choose to dim our light for others to feel comfortable. It may not be noticeable to begin with and it may be a slight adjustment here or there but over time it causes chaos. Coming back to centre and connection to self becomes harder and living in the world of adjusting is what we have learnt to do.

Now I have come to learn and understand what that means to me. Recognising what connection and disconnection to self actually looks and feels like has been the catalyst for growth and expansion in my life. It has allowed me to understand myself in ways in which I have not known before. I am grateful for the depths of my darkness for it has allowed me to truly anchor my light in the here and now.

 

With a splash of Mermaid Magic and always let your heart lead the way.

Fairy wishes

Sonia

xxxx

1. Remember Who You Are

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I have been missing from my blog for some time. Life has certainly been happening and I have been presented with lots of twists and turns along the way. A blog post possibly won’t justify where and how I’ve journeyed the last year, so for now my intention is to simply be present with what is. It sounds great in theory and truly an art to manifest. If anything the last two years have taught us that being present is all we really have. The world as we knew it is no longer and in some ways that is worth celebrating.

What I can say is the last couple of years for me have been an absolute shit show. The lessons profound, quick and at times feel like you have fallen flat on your face with little room to breathe. I am not going to sugar coat or promote that everything happens for a reason or that the mess has become the message. To be perfectly honest everything I have once known doesn’t seem to matter anymore and all I know for certain is what is present in the here and now. What is real and what is not for each and every one of us.

What I am learning again is to trust. Disconnection to self and living in our current climate has been fkn hard (well for me it has been). I have struggled for the last 18 months or so big time and I have questioned time and time again what it is all truly about. Big questions I know and not ones that I have solid answers for. What was is no longer and what I have believed to be true and real is in fact, merely a distraction.

So for now what I feel to be real and true is to be simply in my light and darkness. I have sat in the murkiness and glory of my darkness for a while now. I didn’t rush the process, I didn’t force myself to feel better and I certainly didn’t practice positivity. In fact I did the opposite and accepted myself for where I was in those moments. The grace of time is allowing me to uncover the gifts that I am surely and slowly unwrapping, but this time I am in no hurry.

To truly surrender to what is, to remember who I am and why I am here. I am not going to profess that by any means of the imagination that I have it all worked out. Trust me I don’t, however what I do know is what exists is no longer working. I am tired of the old paradigm that we have lived in for so long and perhaps it is simply time to create a new one. A world where we tap into the ancient wisdom and inner knowing, remembering who we truly are.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

 

3. I celebrate my unity with all life knowing we are one

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The current state of what is happening in our world at the moment is far from pleasant. An issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart is the divide that continues to happen. Whilst we all want to believe that we have good intentions and that we are coming from a place of kindness and compassion for one another, at times it feels to be the contrary, myself included. The amount of divide that is playing out is a pandemic. Connections are being dismantled, abuse being hurled due to lack of understanding, insidious name calling over a difference of opinion, comparisons of trauma all whilst suicide rates are escalating.

Of late I have witnessed dialogue in regards to the comparison of our current situation in Australia to Afghanistan. Let’s make no mistake these issues have been presenting themselves for many years. The fact that it has been splashed all over our social media means that innately we seem to pay more attention. Third world issues have always been prevalent. I visited and volunteered in Cambodia for many years. Most of the population doesn’t have access to health care. Children die from common ailments such as a fever or gastro. On rare occasions when they are able to seek medical attention it is usually after waiting for days, on a floor in a space that is less than hygienic. I have witnessed this. Yet when I wait at my doctor for over an hour I get frustrated that I wasn’t seen on time. I have an expectation that the doctor surgery will have a clean space and that any contaminated products will be dispersed according to the 1st world country that I am currently living in. Does this make me selfish and ungrateful? Perhaps it does? If we apply this principle to what we are currently experiencing in relation to what is happening in Afghanistan compared to Australia, it isn’t just. We can almost apply this to all of our 1st world commodities. There is genuine fear and turmoil due to loss of perceived freedoms. To be empathetic, have an awareness and understanding without negating one experience over the other is an aspect to be considered. Otherwise we are only adding to the trauma.

There has been a lot of comparison that protestors were selfish and that their understanding of true freedom cannot be compared. No it cannot be compared; we don’t live in a third world country. Hopefully we will never know. It is all good and well to have an opinion and opposing view and one in which to we are all entitled to. However what isn’t helpful is telling someone that they should simply be grateful that the situation in Australia is not the same as the one in Afghanistan. This has a fall on effect and only compounds the mental health crisis we are already experiencing. Whilst this issue has been raised due to recent protests of freedom, there are so many complexities to navigate. Are we are able to find the courage to take a deeper look inside our own moral high ground and compass for humanity? For when we are in a place of discernment and humility, it is then that the narrative that is presented is unable to waiver the truth of a united collective and restoration begins.

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit” – Bankay

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I was watching the Bachelorette the other night. Yes I know it is a highly intelligent and stimulating show. One of the guys on the show stated “I just want to be happy”. I was intrigued by what he had said and thought, does this mean you are not happy? Does it mean you are only happy once you are in a relationship?  How do you know what happy means and how is happiness defined?  If we don’t experience the extremity of sadness how do we know what happy feels like?

Today was my Nonna’s birthday. She passed over 6 years ago. I sat on the beach for a few hours today and remembered all of the beautiful lessons that I learnt from her. I felt her resilience, strength and courage in all that she endured. She had a tough life. My Nonno completed suicide and she was left to raise 9 children on her own. Her smile and laughter was far and few between. I felt happy in my sadness of missing her and wishing that I could hear her just one more time.  As I sat on the rocks and closed my eyes I could feel the whispers of her wings close by. I felt sad that she is no longer here but happy that there was so much to remember and smile about.  Can we be happy in our sadness? Why is it that we feel so uncomfortable with feelings that don’t elate us? I know for me that so much growth happens from pain. It is where I have the opportunity to dig deep and learn more about why I am here in this one precious life.

So when I came across this quote today I reflected it back to happiness and what that meant for me.  I don’t think we are always meant to be happy and why do we perceive sadness as negative? Maybe those times are just “rest” times in our lives. For me happiness is about being content in where I am no matter what is presented. It certainly doesn’t mean that I always have my shit together in fact far from it. It is not about one person being better or superior than another. We are all in different stages of our lives; this is what makes us imperfectly perfect. There is a process to healing and we all learn when we are meant to. I am not sure that we ever work it all out. I do feel that is a work in progress and personal responsibility for where we are at is the freedom of happiness.

I don’t want to wait for another human being to make me happy and quite frankly it is not fair to have that expectation of another. It doesn’t mean that others don’t bring happiness to our lives; in fact the core of connection is pivotal. What it does mean is not having an expectation that another person or situation can give us something that we cannot give ourselves. If we can’t find a sense of happiness within then we can’t expect it from another. The best relationship that we are ever going to have is the one we have with ourselves.  If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Blessed be. So it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

13. F.E.A.R – Face everything and rise.

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So I made the big move to Gold Coast Queensland and have been here just under a week.  I felt really compelled to write this morning as it always puts me in a place of grounding and alignment. What came to me was the juxtaposition of what the word fear can actually mean. I don’t recall where I heard that FEAR can also mean “Face everything and rise” and nor does it actually matter. What is important for me right now is how it resonates and where I choose to place my energy.

The Gold Coast is a picture of paradise. I could certainly spend the next 400 or so words about the picturesque settings that I am in total awe of. Instead what feels more important is to appreciate the contrast of what Queensland means to me right now and how I am feeling in the face of fear. Fear is paralysing and stops us from living love and from our hearts. When we live from our head space it is debilitating and sends us into a spiral of chaos and big fat brain drain! Trust me I know.

What I continue to learn is if something isn’t challenging us then we are not learning and evolving. Not sure about you but the aspect of staying the same scares the crap out of me. So I have had to remind myself of that quite a few times this week. The move has been one that I know is absolutely something that I have needed to do on so many levels. That doesn’t mean that “fear” doesn’t turn up on occasions and I can send myself into a little tail spin. After all we are humans first and foremost. We can go about being all spiritual and stuff but what does that mean anyways? I would much rather not go into labels and instead simply be real and raw. We tend to shy away time and time again from feelings of pain and uncomfortableness, but these are the ones that stem the most growth.

So for me right now, I know that this is a time of total transition. Yes there is fear around the unknown. At times there is pure joy and others an emotion I can’t even identify with because I have never quite been here before. I know that I wake up to an ocean of pure bliss and the sounds of waves which sing to my soul. I can also sit at a coffee shop and watch the connections of friends meeting up and miss home. I can choose to live in the fear of the unknown or I can embrace every opportunity that this sea change has to offer and rise. It doesn’t mean that I am not going to go through a range of “stuff” at any given time. What it does teach me is to live love, get outside of my head and create from a space of freedom and compassion. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

9. Everyone Matters.

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I have woken really early this morning and can’t help but think about the murder of a 13 month old girl. Two separate friends told me about it yesterday and I just wasn’t ready to hear it. It is literally down the road and clearly has had some affect if it is want I am thinking about at 5:00am in the morning.  When a mother decides to take the life of their own child there has to be something seriously wrong. I had a read about what had occurred and the mother was taken to a local police station where she was not able to be interviewed due to her psychiatric illness. The devastation fell upon my heart as I guessed that this is what may have happened. So much sadness not only for the precious cherub that was murdered by her own mother but for a woman who was so unwell that this is what she succumbed to.

Yesterday morning I woke up to read the final chapters of my book. It was predominantly about my cousin Cathy who took her own life over 2 years ago. I still can’t comprehend at times that she has gone and that this was her fate that took place. It is in fact very true and still quite raw. I try really hard not focus on the heaviness that surrounds this situation, rather it allows me to be more determined to create change, to do more and to absolutely finish the final moments of my book about suicide awareness and prevention. Every 3 hours somebody in Australia chooses to take their own life. So by the time you have woken up for the day at least 2 or 3 people would have died. Not sure about you but this statistic creates heaviness beyond what I can describe but a surge of determination to do more.

My own experience and history of mental health ultimately has led me to this one precious life that I am now leading. I am beyond grateful for the resilience, strength and courage that it has taught me.  So how does all this connect to a woman in Reservoir that murdered her 13 month old? For me the questions furiously circled my mind. How did this go unnoticed? What happened to her? Why was she driven to do what she did? She just didn’t wake up one morning and decide to kill her child? From what I have read there had also been 13 accounts of reported domestic violence. (Who know if this is true?) It doesn’t matter because it is all a story and drama. Let’s get to the core of humanity and why she couldn’t reach out before she got to that point? Why my cousin Cathy who has an extended family of 70+ people but still felt that this was her only choice. These are the issues that are important to me and one that we all have a moral obligation to create a world that is safe. It is not OK that the life of this child is no longer but it feels worse not do anything about it. Everyone matters. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

xoxoxo

5. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step.”

 

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(Dad & I)

I have been in Italy for the last week or so. Dad and I have travelled back to his motherland so he has the opportunity to see his family. When I saw the quote for today I thought about him at 72 years of age and making the decision to travel. I don’t really need an excuse to travel or explore so when the opportunity presented itself I was more than happy to go with him. It certainly hasn’t been a holiday where there has been lots of sightseeing of “things” but what I have encountered are lessons that will always remain.

From the moment we began our trip together I have loved watching my dad and all that he encounters along the way. It is funny that at some point in your life the roles of parenting reverse. This can be confronting but it can also be a time where the opportunity is one where growth is paramount. Dad hadn’t been inside an international airport for almost 30 years and he was in awe and captivated by what he saw. I admit there was some trepidation about travelling with my dad. At times we have a typical father\daughter relationship but for most of the time he is simply my dad. Watching him with fresh eyes and not just as my “dad” has been a lesson of empathy and compassion.

Dad was born and raised in a small town in Calabria. The main town in which we have spent our time has a population of almost 1,000 people. I am from Melbourne, Australia so one can imagine the contrast and extremities of difference. I have loved watching dad in his surroundings and being reunited with family and friends that he hasn’t seen for almost 30 years.  It is a feeling beyond words and one in which has allowed me to understand my dad in a way I have not known before.

For him especially making a small step and deciding to reunite with his siblings has meant so much more. His journey will always belong to him and whatever needs to take place for him will. For me this small step has allowed me to be in a space that I have not felt before. Usually consumed and challenged with time and a lengthy to do list, I have been forced to slow down and just be.

I have loved the serenity and mindfulness of being in each moment. The art of detachment in drama is one in which I am learning the most. After all Italian families and drama can inevitably go hand in hand. I am savouring in life lessons of what is important and what matters most. Being open and present is important especially when Italian is not my native language. The freedom of simplicity is bliss and one in which I value most. Sometimes the smallest times allows the greatest lessons to be learnt. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step”. Blessed be.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxo

2. Shame stops you from stepping up.

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Last week I attended Aboriginal Cultural Awareness Training. It was inspiring, educational and tinged with sadness and shame. One of the trainers spoke about how “shame stops us from stepping up” I loved what this meant. This was not only in the context of the training but also the meaning this represented in life. My mind dives into all kinds of things where we may carry shame. I know for me personally there was so much shame connected to mental illness, failed relationships and all kinds of “stuff”. Trust me carrying the shame serves absolutely no purpose, so I loved when I heard that “it” stops you from stepping up.

We are ashamed for a number of reasons and all of our stories are different and unique. Shame is judgement which separates. Generally the shame and judgment is the one that we tend to place on ourselves. Seems ridiculous that we would do this, yet we tend do. Sure there are others that may make us feel ashamed. This can be for a number of different reasons for a multitude of motives. One of my ex partners would tell me that I was “damaged goods”, charming I know. Had I have known what I know now I quite possibly may have damaged his “goods” (Just jokes). The shame connected to this comment encompassed many facets. This is just a small snippet of a story but the shame stopped me from stepping up and stepping out of the toxic relationship.

I’m not about to get into the he said, she said story, rather what happens when shame exists. It is an emotion that is futile and keeps us stuck. So why did I allow this to happen? There was a part of me that did believe I was “damaged goods”.  I had already been married and felt that I had “failed” so there was shame associated. Culturally I had come from a place where “divorce” wasn’t something that just happened. So again I placed more shame upon myself. I somewhat accepted the comment of “damaged goods” because I somehow believed I was. This was not only because of my past but especially the label of mental illness that I had been carrying and the indoctrinated beliefs around these areas. My god what I story I had embellished myself in! The truth is no other person can make you feel that way unless there is a part of you that carries that emotion.

My self-worth at the point in my life was not something that I recognised. It was more comfortable to sit in shame than to actually acknowledge it. So instead these days I am able to shift the shame around. I am able to forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated less than what I deserved. I can take responsibility that in some way I created that situation. Shame is what we believe and perceive. It is an opportunity to grow and learn from our experiences rather than dwelling in what is no longer. The lessons of integrity, strength and courage far outweigh the heaviness and detriment of shames. Unveiling what truly matters is where the magic unfolds.

With a magic of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

24. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances.

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There seems to be a lot of discussion about the recent elections and new president of America. No, this is not another post or blog about what Trump has said or done. Quite frankly he no longer interests me. Instead I can actually sit and write about what he taught me in such a short amount of time and I am grateful. I refuse to give him any more air time or power. I was in a bakery picking up some chocolate for my dad’s birthday when I heard the news that he had won. I shuddered and tried to extrapolate it from my mind. I was on my way to my dad’s celebration dinner and I didn’t want to let the news dampen how I was feeling.

Later that night as predicted it was all over Facebook and the distaste and disharmony spewed onto my newsfeed. That is except for a few. There was an extremely funny comparison to a dinosaur cartoon that he eerily resembled from the 80’s. Most importantly there were other perspectives on the recent result of the presidency of America. First things first it was about owning the shadow within us. Trump only pushes our buttons because there is a trait that resides inside of us. Feels uncomfortable I know, but if you were to be really honest with yourself I am sure there has been a snippet in time where you may have been racist or ignorant towards somebody or something. I know there have been times in my life where I have had made judgments on others. Not entirely proud of it but our shadows allow us to seek truth and grow.

The other perspective was about stepping up in love. If we are hurling abuse at him are we not just as bad or distasteful as he is? Please let’s make no mistake; I am not a fan of Trump. What I can say is that he is teaching me who I am not. I want to be able to see or hear about him and not feel triggered. Instead I want to create and feel more love and compassion for the world that we live in. There is one thing for sure the world needs a whole lot of love right now.

What if Trump is showing us what it is that we need to be? If we don’t want to be like him, then who do we aspire to be?  What if we aspire to be the best version of ourselves? What if we stopped looking outside of ourselves and know that the answers we seek are already within. To know that there is no guru or leader other than the one that resides inside of who we truly are. What if it is about stepping up in love, compassion and integrity? I know that I have been able to shift my perspective about the election because I don’t want to waste this one precious life feeling insecure about my future. Instead I want to be able to turn it around and follow my bliss. Love is the most important thing to give, regardless of the circumstances. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo