66. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

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Sadness is a feeling that right now feels miles away as I get myself organised to go on a little getaway with my sisters and cousin to Queensland. I could write about how happy that it is making me right now and that sadness is far removed from my mind but that would make a contradictory blog. One of the reasons for the getaway is because there has been so much sadness this year and part of getting away is to have fun, be together and have some fun.

For me I know sadness all too well. Whilst I was in the midst of my depression over 15 years ago  it is something that I now have so much more awareness of and an aspect of my life in which I am truly grateful for. For me sadness and feeling flat is a part of my life that I have learnt to embrace, a space in which I am able to feel vulnerable and an experience that I am able to grow from.

A friend text me the other day and told me she “felt” me and that I was feeling sad. For me this is one of the greatest gifts that I am able to receive. Yes I was feeling sick and sorry for myself yet to know that there was another person that was happy to hold that space for me in my vulnerability allowed me to feel what it was that I needed to and move on from that feeling. It wasn’t about shoving it down and pretending that I was OK, rather it wasn’t about having courage and strength in my vulnerability to move through the feelings and process them the way that was beneficial to me.

Sadness is a feeling that we sometimes tend to shy away from. A feeling that at times we try to “snap out of” and one that tends to disassociate us from the rest of our world. It is a feeling that can have stigma attached to it and one that doesn’t always appear as acceptable from others. We all want to hang around happy uplifting people but yet we find it uncomfortable to sit with someone in their sadness. Now there is difference between negativity and sadness.  For me sadness especially this year has been one of the greatest gifts in which I have allowed myself to dig deep to what is truly important, to expose my vulnerability with those I trust and to gain insight and understanding to my shadow side.

Where sadness lies most for me is for my dear cousin who chose to take her life, not only for her but the countless others that felt that suicide was their only answer. It makes me sad that in a world where we are so many there can still be no connection that gives another individual enough courage to stay. Whilst there is sadness there is also an inner courage and strength to do more for others, to connect on levels that I haven’t before and to know and truly feel that we are all one, that we are connected. Whilst we celebrate each other with joy it is just as important to celebrate and be present in the sadness. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxxx

32. Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace.

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It is just as well that this affirmation has been presented to me today. I reckon if I had of been even a week ago I may have thrown the affirmation calendar out the window and been done with it. The truth is since the death of my cousin, life has been challenging and fragmented to say the least. To go back to what was is not something that is attainable as a life event such as this one changes you forever. One thing that I am able to connect to is my heart space and this is a constant. The thing is that when “stuff” and ego consumes our lives getting into our heart space can become more difficult than usual and basic survival is required. I can go on and on about stores and stuff but basically they get boring and what attracts me to life is to sort my shit out and to live with pure joy, peace, purpose and happiness.

People or places can only annoy or irritate us if that “thing” resides within us already. True story! Confronting to hear but totes is what our shadow shows us. It represents what exists within us already or simply what we have to heal. Our shadows can be our biggest and greatest teachers in life. It is when we fully embrace what belongs to us and are no longer ashamed of what it means is where strength and growth takes place. It is where the stretch happens and we deal with what is blocking us at the time. So the next time somebody annoys you or irritates you, take a step back, hold compassion in your heart and look for the place where that behaviour may take place in your life.

I know that there have been situations of friendships and situations where I have been triggered. Sometimes it may take me a while before I am able to identify the trigger but there is usually the “aha” moment where I own my stuff and grow from it. It is easy to say a person is this or that and at the time they very well may be. That is not to say that the action of another that has hurt you is OK but when an action has irritated or annoyed you it is because it needs to be released and healed. Quite frankly I am all up for thanking the person for showing me what I am no longer. So rather than putting your energy into the “story”, give thanks to the situation or person that has brought it to light, heal and move on.

A few nights ago I went to a Tantric Dance Session (no I didn’t dance around a room naked and have sex with random people) instead what I did do was choose peace and universal love. When my friend and I left the dance session we felt elated and high on life and love (no drugs or alcohol involved). What we did agree on when we left that we wanted to imagine and create for ourselves a life where the world was simply universal love, peace and justice. The feeling that was so imminent was that nobody or place could have annoyed or irritated me. Call me a dreamer, call me what you will but as John Lennon sings “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. But I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one” Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.