I am a channel of peace. Every word, though and action that I take is PEACE.

download (5)

For last few weeks for some reason I have had a hymn that has been going through my head. “Make me a channel of your peace” which is a prayer of St Francis.  Today I sat and reflected of this hymn that has been playing time and time again in my thoughts I felt what it actually meant to me. As I spend time in Cambodia I learn so much and it makes me realise even more how much personal responsibility that we ALL need to take in the world! It is not just about spending time in a third world country but having an awareness of what makes our heart sing, what our gift is to the world and how honoured it is to share it with others.

In March this year I lost my cousin to suicide. It tore my heart and the pain and grief associated with her death has been immense. This week for me has been a myriad of emotions which have ranged from pure joy to such injustice and sadness. The magic of Cambodia is the contrast that it displays on so many levels and why I love it so much. I know my cousin has been by my side especially this week as I follow my heart and know that a lot of my healing has happened here. What I know even more now is how much the stigma of mental health needs to dissipate so we are able to heal and share our love and magic in the world.

I read a quote today that said “The greatest journey you will make is from your head to heart” This few words are so simple yet so profound and if I can sum up what gifts Cambodia has bestowed on me it would be my journey from my head to my heart. Depression and mental illness comes from living in your head. Living in our heads is fuckin dangerous and can only cause havoc and chaos in our minds and lives. It puts us into our own world and we do not have the capacity to go outwards and feel what it is that we need to feel for ourselves and others.

Being a channel of peace means for me that it is time to step up and be proud of what depression and mental illness represents. I feel that the death of my beloved cousin Cathy has been paired to shed hope, love and light to others. That the struggle of suicide is something that no person should ever feel is the answer. That we are all one in our beloved universe and we all have the ability share our own unique gifts and light in this world. If there is one gift that I am able to give to the world it is to shed hope and light to those that have ever felt that suicide is the answer. Discovering my journey from my head to my heart is one that comes from pain and grief but transcends to bliss and magic. I am a channel of peace. Every word, though and action that I take is PEACE. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow you day.

With love

Sonia

xoxo

16. I get plenty of sleep every night, and my body appreciates how I take care of it.

10940455_395686233931403_1593898898267514831_n

(spending time with my niece :)

I have spent the last couple of days away down at the beach and have caught up on much needed rest and sleep. The last few weeks have been emotionally exhausting with the passing of my dear aunt and my body is weary and tired. The last few days have been such a blessing for some rest which has allowed my body to be amongst Mother Nature and to absorb her beautiful energy.

I know my body all too well and for me not getting enough rest as with anybody does not allow me to do the things that I love to do with grace and ease. I know that when I have not slept enough I crave sugary and fatty foods the next day, my concentration is poor and I lack motivation and enthusiasm. Sounds like pretty simply mathematics and logic to me. However there are still times when we abuse our bodies and do not take care of ourselves as they deserve.

One of the biggest triggers for me when I was unwell with mania which ultimately led to hospitalisation was that I could not sleep. This was caused by my body being under huge amounts of pressure and stress and not taking care of it as what it deserved. Hindsight is great and I did not know or appreciate to love my body and self the way I do now. So now when my body does not have the sleep that it requires I ensure that I rest and recuperate as I honour my body and all that it allows me to do. It is also about not abusing my body with toxic food, substances or alcohol as I also know all too well how this impacts your body and life. Hard lessons to learn but ones in which I am grateful for they have taught me about what I do not want in my life.

The last few nights have been pretty cool as I have been spending time with my niece and we have slept and snuggled together at night. It is times like these that I truly treasure and I have loved the relaxing nature of being away, reading and taking the time out that my body has truly required. My body deserves it. I get plenty of sleep every night, and my body appreciates how I take care of it. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

8. I look forward with joyous anticipation to what this day brings.

10882233_626587800804405_2801534620158000111_n

When we live with purpose and we know that we are following our heart looking forward to what each day brings is refreshing and exciting. My blog this year is about creating change with compassion.  My life has not always looked and felt the way that is does now. Sure there are days when I drag my sorry ass out of bed with a serious case of “can’t be f*T” but these days are very far and few between. For most of the time I welcome each day with what it brings as I know there are so many wonderful things that I love to do and want to accomplish (although today in Melbourne it is raining and such a sweet day to lie in bed and read).

Having had depression for many years on and off I know the feeling all too well of not looking forward to the joyous anticipation of what each day brings. It has been over 10 years now and I have not been or had the need to be on any anti-depressant medication. This was to the contrary of doctors who told me that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. I am in no way shape of form suggesting that medication is something to be tampered with or nor am I saying that it does not have a purpose. Rather what I am saying is that everything is possible.

One of the biggest hurdles and challenges to overcome when you are living with depression is finding purpose. In the midst of your own blackness it feels like there is absolutely nothing to live for let alone wanting to get out of bed and face the day. It doesn’t justify to write in this short amount of space all about depression rather just a snippet that if you are reading this and are finding yourself feeling flat I encourage you to get out of your head space and feel into your heart. Express what it is that you are feeling to somebody that you trust, in your own words in a song, write about it, do whatever, just don’t keep it supressed inside of you. Trust me it comes up and whenever it wants to as well.

If there is one small thing that you can do for to get out of your head and that is to do something for somebody who is in a less fortunate situation than yourself. There are so many people and organisations that are in desperate need of help and volunteers and it will allow you to feel for another rather than living in your own head. Living in your own head only leads to shitty conversations with self and a big fat headache. I encourage you to do something differently because if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got. I look forward with joyous anticipation to what this day brings. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

7. My health is reflected in every area of my life. I take loving care of my physical self.

10898021_633501403428096_7670202413168117443_n

Yes universe I am hearing you! I generally exercise at least 3-4 times a week. For three weeks I hardly did a thing except a few walks and ate lots of stuff that I would not normally. Monday night at training I threw up! Yup you heard right! What this tells me is that clearly my body wasn’t coping with exercise at this time but more importantly how no exercise for a short amount of time impacted my body. Note to self – do not take three weeks break of exerciseJ.

More importantly when we talk about health it is also about our emotional wellbeing. So many of us suffer in silence because of our own fear or insecurities about what they may look like to the outside world if we are seen as not coping. What a croc of crap! I have found that my most vulnerable moments shared have strengthened relationships, allowed another person to feel the same and shared a connection that is life lasting.

Taking loving care of self means so much in so many ways. Sure it is about the food we consume and the exercise but there is a deeper level about the way we treat and speak about ourselves especially our bodies. For such a long time I have not been kind to my body and abused it with not enough sleep, cigarettes, alcohol until I realised what I was doing to myself. That is not to say that I am perfect and never do anything that causes harm to my body but what it does tell me is that I am so much more aware of the choices that I make and the impact that they have on me.

I am also so much more aware about the way that I speak about my body. Too often we look at ourselves either in the mirror or in a photo and criticize the crap out it! When I catch myself saying or feeling negative things about my body I remind myself about all the choices in life I have because of my body such as walking, exercising, and moving any way I choose with freedom and ease.  We easily negate its worth so I encourage you to start to thank your body and if you can’t find things that you love about it at the very least thank it for breathing. Each creation in your life towards self-love and responsibility is one that is of peace, compassion and love that moves outwards and into the universe. My health is reflected in every area of my life. I take loving care of my physical self. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

5. My body mirrors my state of mind, I am healthy whole and complete.

1900653_847565028618143_6800235314930359013_o

Ha ha universe you are funny, as I sit here with a belly full of sugar! Having eaten the delectable panettone pretty much for the month of December (to my exercise trainers if you are reading this simply ignore the last lineJ) I’ve justified it with “it is part of tradition” “It’s Christmas” as I shovelled piece after piece down my throat. With over a month of not entirely caring about what it is that I am consuming, I feel blah. It is not about weight but rather how certain foods impact the body. I am truly grateful that my exercise sessions commence again this evening as I have missed regular exercise. It is amazing what a difference it makes to your life.

The other day in true serendipitous style I was reading about a 30 day cleanse on social media. That same afternoon I was contacted from an acquaintance that I had met many months ago to ask me how I was going. It was in fact her post that I was reading about the 30 day cleanse. Coincidence much, I don’t think so. There was a quote I read the other day that read “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. For me it feels like very much where I need to be right now. After having purged a whole heap of emotions, experiences and stuff through a workshop I was doing in December this feels very right for me.

So when I reflect on the affirmation for today I feel rather blah and unenergetic. I haven’t exercised for almost a month and eaten way too many foods that aren’t great for me. I know that this is totally a sign to go with it! I certainly don’t want my mind to feel blah and unenergetic! No thankyou!! On a positive note I thank my body for keeping me alive and allowing me to do all that I desire. Too often we berate our bodies when they do so very much for us. So thank you beautiful body for giving me the freedom to live the life I choose and in return I look after you in the best possible way that I know how. My body mirrors my state of mind. I am healthy, whole and complete. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo