18. Home is not a place it is a feeling

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I have been living on the Gold Coast for just over three months.  It has been a plethora of emotions that I seem to untangle and construct on a sometimes daily basis. I love being so close to the ocean. Knowing that I can walk 5 minutes to be so close to the roaring waves brings so much joy to my heart. On the flip side I miss my family, friends and the familiarity that I know.  Some days are harder than others. Being away from all that I know has also forced to go deeper within myself and to feel truly at home no matter where I am. It has taught me to dig to depths that I haven’t visited before and grow to a different sense of self.

When I am being challenged in life I also take it as an opportunity to learn and understand what it means for me. It doesn’t mean that I have to analyse the crap out of it and do my own head in. instead I am able to feel what it is that is going on for me and allow myself to take responsibility for growth and understanding. Too often in life when we are presented with “stuff” that is painful or difficult to digest we shove it down or distract ourselves with whatever else. To feel pain is uncomfortable and we do anything possible to avoid it. We learn so much from a place of pain and for me it is where growth really happens if we allow it.

It is relatively easy for us to live in our heads, it is comfortable and it is safe up there, quite frankly it gives me a headache. Living from our hearts and being connected is love living. So when I connect to the place of feeling of home at times it is what I know. What I have come to understand is that feeling of home is living from your heart which may not always be easy to do. It can feel far more comfortable to lash out, blame and avoid. For me it is a daily practise and reminder of what life essentially is.  There will always be situations and interactions that we are presented with. It has the potential to take us away from living love if this is what we allow. Or we can choose to sit in our pain, hurt, grief or whatever uncomfortable feeling we are shown and grow from the experience.

So when I connect to home, I feel what it is like to be surrounded by my mad, crazy, loud and fun loving family. They are what I have known for the last 43 years, I miss them like crazy at times and yearn for the comfort that I know so well. The other side of that is remaining connected to who I am and feeling at home in my heart no matter where I am. Being pushed out of my comfort zone also take me to a place of discovery and this is where the magic truly happens. Home is not a place, it is a feeling. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

 

 

22. Beautiful Unknown

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Today is the last day before I fly out back to Melbourne after having spent almost three weeks in Cambodia. To describe what this time has meant to me in words would do it no justice, instead an immense avalanche of feelings and the great desire to be of service in greater capacities.  To be in alignment with compassion and integrity for we are only here for such a short precious time. One of my most profound lessons is that when you are on purpose and in service nothing else really matters.

There are mouths to be fed, clean water to be sourced and the basic human right to live hygienically. Unfortunately this is not the always the case and the injustice prevalent. I could sit here and write about all the injustices that are served but this could possibly quire dramatic and a little boring to be honest. I would much rather be working towards the difference that we can create no matter where we are in our world.

There are so many times in life where we feel we need to have control of this or that. Whether it is in our personal relationships, work or how we structure our day to day. To be perfectly honest I find this totally boring. Make no mistake I have known what it is like to feel like you are losing control of everything that was once was. It’s scary and surges anxiety throughout your entire being. What is scarier is staying the same. Surrendering is such a gift to self and one that I continue to learn.  I have learnt that what scares me the most is generally what leads me to where I am meant to be. Fear is not real; it is ego based and only holds us back from infinite potential.

When we hold ourselves back from the life that we are meant to be living the only injustice is to ourselves, our growth and our life. What if there were no second chances? What if we truly felt that all we had was right now, that the past has no power and it has no relevance. What if we cut out all the drama and crap from our lives and used that energy towards precious humanity. What if we put our arms together to feed the hungry children? Or to make sure that humans are not dying from drinking poisonous water.  Imagine not having a shower or toilet or knowing if there is a next meal. Imagine not having the funds to take your child to the doctor let alone purchase medical supplies. Imagine this for just one moment.

This is what I witness each time I come to Cambodia, so much of it and so prevalent. I can’t live in my head about this and deal with atrocities of what it all means yet I can make a difference no matter where I am in the world. For when we are in alignment and connect to what is real is where the magic truly happens. The unknown is truly beautiful. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

21. If you want Peace, stop fighting, if you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thought.

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Funny old universe! I have a few hours off at the moment so I have taken some time to write at one of my favourite cafes in Siem Reap. It is called the Peace Café and a time for me to go inwards and spend some time with me. As I was leaving my room I had the affirmation for the day in my hand. In the next minute or so it disappeared! Don’t ask me where it could have possibly gone in 2.5 seconds but none the less I couldn’t find it. I resisted it for a few minutes and could feel myself becoming annoyed and frustrated with myself so I decided to stop fighting with my mind and have landed right here with an affirmation at my table. In fact the café is filled with peaceful quotes. Funny that!

One of the very reasons why I love Cambodia so much is that there is so much flow and serendipity. I am on purpose and even when I do get into my head it doesn’t take me long to get out of it. I mean all you had to do is smile at a Khmer person and the smile back ignites you straight back into your heart. So when I sat at my table, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at myself. I smiled, had a chuckle and knew that where I was, was exactly where I am meant to be right now. In this moment surrounded by trees and to my left there is a poster of a half-naked man advertising a local Cambodian Performance. Trees, fairies, muscly half naked men, food, peace, I mean what more could I ask for? I mean the password for the Wi-Fi was compassion. Really! When you get out your head and begin to truly feel life simply flows with such grace and ease. The magic of getting lost is where you are meant to be found.

When all we have is the moment the thoughts of the past are irrelevant. When we turn our focus to be of service, compassion and love the fight in our head simply stops. When we love ourselves enough to stop wasting time on this one precious life and to do what matters most in our own hearts is where the peace begins. I can’t help but feel my amazing, abundant, inspiring cherished little sister Nadia. When I feel into her, my heart expands with so much love. She is the epitome of peace and teaches me so much about being in the moment. She may have an intellectual disability and is differently abled than what you and I may be but she far exceeds my ability to feel, to be authentic, to love unconditionally, to be present and to simply show up and be real. For when we peel off the layers and deal with what comes up with integrity and compassion all we can simply be is peace and love. If you want Peace, stop fighting, if you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thought. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xoxoxo

Every moment is a miracle. My life is filled with miracles.

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I am sitting in a transit lounge in Kuala Lumpur airport and feel so filled up with love and blessings. What a journey, what a week of triumphs, glory, heartache, grief and so many blessings in between. I have just spent a week with a group of people who I know will be in my life now and forever more. There is something uniquely special and magical about the tribe that we choose to surround ourselves with at any given times in our life. I know for me the people that I meet especially when I am working in Cambodia are connections that are full, authentic and filled with unconditional love.

For me there is no other way than to be in my complete heart space when I am in Cambodia. The gratitude that I feel when I am situated in a third world country is overwhelming. Yesterday we had a meeting with the Project Manager with the school community that we work with. I began to feel heavy hearted about all the despair, poverty and disadvantage in Cambodia. After having had such a fulfilling week it felt tiresome to feel all of the injustices that have been prevailed and my body felt it. I was tired and weary. By the end of the day we had received an email telling us about the ripple effect that goes through the community after we leave and how much it makes people more determined to achieve more. My heart was full again. A miracle happened.

This morning I got up and I felt lighter. I met a friend for breakfast but before I did I visited a Catholic church. I had felt an urge to visit all week and so this morning I did. There was a flyer that caught my eye. It read “To love and serve”; my heart felt that where I was exactly where I was meant to be. As I walked out of the church to my left was a statue of Mary and Jesus and for me it represented miracles. Regardless of belief and religion the connection of a miracle is simply what it is and in that moment I knew that I had felt a miracle of overwhelming peace. As I walked out of the church a monk walked passed. I knew I had felt all the signs I had been seeking and exactly why I was motivated to go the Catholic Church that I had passed every day while I had been in Cambodia. As I met my friend she had suggested that we go to the “Peace Café” and I simply smiled. No matter what happens in our lives there are miracles that surround us each and every moment we just have to be open to receiving them. Right now I can hear the giggle of a baby, the sweet sound of music, the chatter of my beautiful friends, I am breathing and I am alive. Miracles are everywhere. Every moment is a miracle. My life is filled with miracles. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With love

Sonia

oxoxxoxo

I am a channel of peace. Every word, though and action that I take is PEACE.

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For last few weeks for some reason I have had a hymn that has been going through my head. “Make me a channel of your peace” which is a prayer of St Francis.  Today I sat and reflected of this hymn that has been playing time and time again in my thoughts I felt what it actually meant to me. As I spend time in Cambodia I learn so much and it makes me realise even more how much personal responsibility that we ALL need to take in the world! It is not just about spending time in a third world country but having an awareness of what makes our heart sing, what our gift is to the world and how honoured it is to share it with others.

In March this year I lost my cousin to suicide. It tore my heart and the pain and grief associated with her death has been immense. This week for me has been a myriad of emotions which have ranged from pure joy to such injustice and sadness. The magic of Cambodia is the contrast that it displays on so many levels and why I love it so much. I know my cousin has been by my side especially this week as I follow my heart and know that a lot of my healing has happened here. What I know even more now is how much the stigma of mental health needs to dissipate so we are able to heal and share our love and magic in the world.

I read a quote today that said “The greatest journey you will make is from your head to heart” This few words are so simple yet so profound and if I can sum up what gifts Cambodia has bestowed on me it would be my journey from my head to my heart. Depression and mental illness comes from living in your head. Living in our heads is fuckin dangerous and can only cause havoc and chaos in our minds and lives. It puts us into our own world and we do not have the capacity to go outwards and feel what it is that we need to feel for ourselves and others.

Being a channel of peace means for me that it is time to step up and be proud of what depression and mental illness represents. I feel that the death of my beloved cousin Cathy has been paired to shed hope, love and light to others. That the struggle of suicide is something that no person should ever feel is the answer. That we are all one in our beloved universe and we all have the ability share our own unique gifts and light in this world. If there is one gift that I am able to give to the world it is to shed hope and light to those that have ever felt that suicide is the answer. Discovering my journey from my head to my heart is one that comes from pain and grief but transcends to bliss and magic. I am a channel of peace. Every word, though and action that I take is PEACE. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow you day.

With love

Sonia

xoxo

8. I look forward with joyous anticipation to what this day brings.

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When we live with purpose and we know that we are following our heart looking forward to what each day brings is refreshing and exciting. My blog this year is about creating change with compassion.  My life has not always looked and felt the way that is does now. Sure there are days when I drag my sorry ass out of bed with a serious case of “can’t be f*T” but these days are very far and few between. For most of the time I welcome each day with what it brings as I know there are so many wonderful things that I love to do and want to accomplish (although today in Melbourne it is raining and such a sweet day to lie in bed and read).

Having had depression for many years on and off I know the feeling all too well of not looking forward to the joyous anticipation of what each day brings. It has been over 10 years now and I have not been or had the need to be on any anti-depressant medication. This was to the contrary of doctors who told me that I would be on medication for the rest of my life. I am in no way shape of form suggesting that medication is something to be tampered with or nor am I saying that it does not have a purpose. Rather what I am saying is that everything is possible.

One of the biggest hurdles and challenges to overcome when you are living with depression is finding purpose. In the midst of your own blackness it feels like there is absolutely nothing to live for let alone wanting to get out of bed and face the day. It doesn’t justify to write in this short amount of space all about depression rather just a snippet that if you are reading this and are finding yourself feeling flat I encourage you to get out of your head space and feel into your heart. Express what it is that you are feeling to somebody that you trust, in your own words in a song, write about it, do whatever, just don’t keep it supressed inside of you. Trust me it comes up and whenever it wants to as well.

If there is one small thing that you can do for to get out of your head and that is to do something for somebody who is in a less fortunate situation than yourself. There are so many people and organisations that are in desperate need of help and volunteers and it will allow you to feel for another rather than living in your own head. Living in your own head only leads to shitty conversations with self and a big fat headache. I encourage you to do something differently because if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got. I look forward with joyous anticipation to what this day brings. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

4. I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing.

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I was speaking to a friend just the other day about that where you are in your life is exactly where you are meant to be. Sometimes the universe knows what is best for us and forces us to make changes. Sometimes these changes can be ones that are welcomes and sometimes there are unpleasant curveballs that throw us into a tailspin and life is never quite the same. None the less good bad or indifferent we are at the right place at the right time doing the right thing. I know for me personally that each time that there has been pain or suffering in my life it is because there is a greater plan working for me, no matter how crap it may have felt at the time.

What I do think about when I write this affirmation for today are all the people that are living in third world and war torn countries. Are they in the right place at the right time doing the right thing?  It makes my heart heavy and sad that simply because of where one is born that there is so much suffering that is attached to it. For all the asylum seekers that are seeking refuge, are they at the right place at the right time?  I may not have all the answers, but what I do know is the fact they do not have a choice allows me to feel more passionate about justice and peace in our world. So many times I hear people say to me “you can’t change the world” blah blah is all I hear now. What I do know is that “when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change” a quote which is one of my favourites from Dr Wayne Dwyer.

So right now I totally feel that everything is the way that it is meant to be. The more that we are able to create change the more the world will shift and create movement towards justice and peace. Everything is possible. It may not happen in this lifetime but there is certainly hope for our children to live in a world where suffering does not exist. In the meantime if there is an aspect of your life that is able to bring peace, kindness or compassion to another then do just that. The ripple effect is amazing and there are so many acts of service that you can do no matter how big or small. I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

193. Know That Love is the Key

God and angels,

I ask for your assistance in opening my heart. Please help me be aware of my soul, mind and body. Guide me to leave behind any old pain, anger, or hurt and enter the New Year with a clean and open heart. Assist me in loving fearlessly, with grace and acceptance. Help me love like an angel.

Thank You.

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Today is the last day of 2014. I thought it fitting to choose the last affirmation from the book Daily Guidance from your Angels by Doreen Virtue. Earlier this year in April I set myself a challenge to heal open and soothe my heart space. About a month ago I came to the realisation that if my intention was to take 365 days to open , heal and soothe my heart space then it would not be till April next year till this happened. It was one of those moments when I had to giggle at myself and simply just feel that the time was now.

As I close off the year spending some time away in a beautiful bush setting, I feel so much gratitude for the year and the lessons that have prevailed. For me this year resonates with freedom because of the magnificence of layers that have been unveiled and simply because of the love I have in my heart for myself and others. I am not perfect nor do I claim to be but what I do know is that I have found peace in my heart that I have not known before. Love that resonates not because of a man or a relationship that I am in but because of the love and compassion I have for myself. Although I am happy to put it out there that I am ready for the perfect relationship with a man. J

The work that I do in Cambodia continues to teach me gratitude in ways that I have not experienced before. Having travelled to Cambodia twice this year it is now a part of my life where being of service to others simply is what I do and who I am. Our responsibility to each other is what is real. This is my passion in life and what makes my heart sing.

As I sit and write my final blog for 2014 I feel in my heart what have been the most important lessons. To have no judgement of others as we are all the same. To learn to let go of situations, resentment and bitterness, for it is with full responsibility and knowing that in some way I have created and attracted whatever it may be in my life. To know that we are all equal and that we are one tribe in our universe. To love with no fear for when I truly love myself then love is unconditional.  To be of service, as it is our responsibility for living on planet earth. To have compassion towards myself and others, for without compassion in our hearts we cannot truly love and without love there in no other. That life is truly magical and filled with miracles each and every day. I am one with the universe. I am love. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

 

190. Enjoy Being Highly Focused

As I easily focus on whatever I choose, I learn rapidly and thoroughly. My mind is nimble and powerful. I am brilliant because I am one with God’s magnificent mind.

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Oh funny ol universe!! I randomly selected an affirmation from my book Daily Guidance from your Angels by Doreen Virtue a few days I chose this affirmation and didn’t feel like writing it. Possibly because I wasn’t focussed on what I was doing and as a result remained scattered for the rest of the day. Today the same affirmation appeared to me when I asked the universe\angels what it was that I would be writing about today. Bingo there it was again! About a month ago I was annoyed about Christmas, not because it not a time of year that I enjoy, rather the amount of “stuff” that is consumed during this time and all the hoo haa that is attached to it. In some ways it still holds a heavy place in my heart about how much emphasis we place on one day. Instead what I have come to realise that if this is where I allow my energy to be focused then I will remain bitter and annoyed about Christmas and miss the many miracles that are happening all around me.

What this affirmation and realisation has shown me is that perhaps me on my lonesome can’t change the world but you know what I CAN make a difference. My actions cause a reaction and so forth. There was a profound comment that I heard the other day whilst I was doing a workshop. It went something like this “We don’t have to love each other but at the very least we should be able to be loyal and to trust one another” For me this summed up so much and allowed me to see life from a perspective that I had not come to see before. Christmas time brings about so many emotions for different people and can range from pure bliss and elation to desperation and despair.  We tend to put so much focus on one day of the year and to some degree that is cool. It is cool because for one day people are extra loving and kind and peace is shared. It is what happens after this day is where we are required to still be highly focused on love and peace.

I can choose to be annoyed about all that is consumed at Christmas time or I can become highly focussed on being love and peace with compassionate and in particular to those who may not be a part of my life for whatever reason. For if I continue to resent and repel against another human then this is only what I will attract. Not sure about you but I would much rather be peace and love than resentment and anger. For if this is what I focus not only at Christmas time but each and every day then my mind can only be nimble and powerful. So thank you for the lessons universe in which I continue to learn and grow only with love and peace. I am peace. I am love. I am compassionate. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

188. Feed Your Heart

I nurture my heart and am compassionate towards myself. I reassure it gently, promising my intuitive guidance in every relationship. My angels protect me in all ways.

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The more I open my heart space and trust the more I know that I am divinely guided by my own heart and intuition. I has set out to write this blog a few days ago and didn’t. Now I feel why. As we all wake to the siege in Sydney, the loss of lives and the absolute terror of the ordeal I am also aware of what some of us may be feeding with our own thoughts and feelings. With such an event occurring so close to Christmas it brings the feelings to even more a forefront. It is beyond devastating but you know what shit like this happens every fuckin day in parts of the world and for most of the time we are oblivious to it! We are so far removed from it that we only remember to pray for peace and harmony when it is our own backyard.

Are we acting from a place of peace and love each and every day of our own lives? Do we speak to our neighbours, are we kind to our ex husbands or wives, do we even speak to our own family members? Yet we expect there to be world peace when we can’t even be peaceful within our own hearts, immediate family and community. This is not about blaming but let’s wake up and take some responsibility as a whole rather than blaming the government, other religions or each other for the devastation and injustice in the world that we live in.

People are dying of world hunger each and every day yet we throw away bucket loads of food. Animals die so we can have beauty products yet we don’t seem to flinch. Families are dying all over the world because of political unrest, yet a man kills a couple of people in Sydney and all hell breaks loose and rightly so. I am in no way shape or form paying any less attention to the lives that will be affected forever because of this, make no mistake it is gut wrenching, rather what my heart is feeling is that this is the level of awareness we should have each and every day of our lives.

What comes to mind as I conclude my blog for today is one of the commandments; irrespective of what religion its association is “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” This phrase is so simple yet so profound. What I encourage today is to feel what it is that you have to feel but recognise that peace and love is a place where we ought to be coming from each and every time. Yes tell your family you love them and hug your kids a little tighter but more importantly extend a gift of kindness or a random act of love to a complete stranger. Send your enemy, ex-lovers, those who you are in conflict with love for this is where true harmony begins, justice prevails and peace occurs. My world is filled with love. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo