Connection to self in relation to mental health is a fundamental aspect of wellness. When we are disconnected from ourselves, it can create all kinds of havoc on our nervous system and our grounding becomes off balance. I am currently participating in a fundraiser walk for a foundation that supports suicide awareness and prevention. Whilst the intention behind it is unequivocally needed in the world we live in today, what seems to be amiss at times is how we truly connect.

What we do know about suicide is that in most instances, the person who chooses to complete suicide for the most part is connected to services, and for my cousin, even seeing her psychiatrist prior to the day of suicide. We can never know the true reason why someone chooses to complete suicide however what we do know is that the rates in which suicide is completed is increasing.

Whilst the subject suicide awareness and prevention is absolutely necessary what I feel is just as important is connection, not only connection to self but connection with people and professionals that are involved. During my time of recovery, I moved catchment areas. The initial service that was being provided I was disconnected and I was simply answering the same questions, it was horrible and I felt like I was being retraumatised during each time. I felt worse each time, I didn’t feel any momentum, and the little self-worth that I had at the time diminished even further.

I was hesitant to reengage with the service when I moved; however, I felt a nudge and I continued. After the first session, the social worker walked out of the office with me and said, “How about next time I see you, I can meet you and we can have a walk and talk session?” – “I would really like that,” was my reply. After our first walk and talk, I felt seen, heard, and connected. We met regularly and each time I felt safer and more connected to myself. The difference was that the “angel” disguised as social worker could see how uneasy I felt in her clinical office, she heard that I loved nature and she responded in a way that allowed connection and growth.

We can have all the services in the world, all the people around us; however, if there isn’t a connection that is met with depth and understanding, the disconnection to self only becomes more immense. The social worker that I worked with was a catalyst in my recovery. You can have all the qualifications in the world; however, if you are unable to connect with depth and courage, the interaction can be futile.

So, in light of supporting https://ksforruok.ruok.org.au/ and their philosophy to “Help prevent suicide by raising awareness and starting more life-changing conversations to support those you care about who are struggling with life” – yes, I am walking to raise awareness and funds and, in addition, to connect and commit to myself, my mental health, and the work that I do.

“May the courage of your heart always hear the whispers of your wisdom”

Sonia xxo