17. “Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

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A few days ago we woke to the news of a 22 year old that was murdered in Melbourne. She is the almost the same age as my niece and was killed in a part of Melbourne that I know all too well. It could have been anyone. My body reeled as it felt way too close to home. As the days have progressed there has been an outstanding amount of media coverage. I have reflected about the way it has made me feel. I feel sadness for the life that has been lost through a senseless death. It is wrong that there is so much fear and anxiety around feeling safe. What is even more pertinent are some of the messages that are being delivered. I have watched and read numerous news reports and can agree with what is being communicated. Let’s make no mistake; what happened to this young woman is unfathomable.

What has left me sitting in a space of wonder is the gender divide. There have been a number of issues that have been highlighted. The media has indicated that it is the behaviour of men that needs to change. I agree. It has also been described that women should not have to change their behaviour in order to be safe. I can also resonate with this. Where I feel unsettled is that it is primarily against men and rightly so in this case. I understand that there is an epidemic of domestic violence and that women are killed at the mercy of men. But on the flip side violence doesn’t discriminate. There is so much that we don’t hear about. It has been reported that 21 fathers die by suicide each week because of women who deny them access to their children.

I don’t want this to be a debate as I don’t disagree with the correspondence of the “news”. Instead what I am suggesting is that perhaps we need to come from a different viewpoint and understand that violence on any level is not acceptable. So many lives are lost every day in all parts of the world that include innocent children, men and women. There are countless deaths that we don’t hear about, yet one death that feels that it could be any of us and we rally to create change. Creating change is the catalyst and we are all responsible for the world we live in. It is not up to anyone else but ourselves to be the change that we want to see in the world.

Men are just as prone to violence as what women are and yet it feels like we are creating a greater divide. I could be totally wrong. This is only my viewpoint and what this current situation feels like for me. We want change yet what are we doing about it? Do we practice compassion, peace and loyalty in the way we live? How can we expect to achieve a state of love and peace when we don’t even have it our own lives? What are we doing each and every day to make the world a better place, to be of service and to be compassionate and loyal to each and every human being? I know that this has been a reminder for me to know that creating change with love, compassion and peace is what we are born to do. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxox

12. I only own my mind – I am mine – Pearl Jam

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A friend sent me this song this morning, the lyrics resonated and I connected with it. I am not sure why she sent it. There was no message just the song. I know and feel our connection beyond distance so I know that it was something that I needed to hear. I start a new job tomorrow and I am feeling beyond nervous. I was chatting to a friend yesterday and expressed that I was starting to feel anxious about it all. She reminded me to look at it as an exciting new chapter. So when I heard and felt the song this morning I felt that it was a little reminder to really be in the moment about the new chapter that I begin tomorrow. I am not a magician and nor do I have a magic wand to switch off my thoughts but what I can achieve is awareness.

As I write my blog for the day I am jolted into a different reality. I can hear the news about the chemical war fare in Syria. I am watching people being hosed down in an attempt to wash the chemicals in which they have been attacked with.  I could go on and on about the pure injustice about the war that is happening and the suffering that our world goes through. I am not sure that it would actually achieve anything except more of the same energy that exacerbates injustice.

As the lyrics of the song indicate – I only own my mind [1]I can only control what happens to my thoughts and words. I cannot and nor do I want to change the mind of others. That is not my job nor is it my business. I can only act in my highest integrity and come from a place of loyalty and respect in all that I do. For me the most significant reminder has been to really focus on what matters most. I can’t change the chemical warfare in Syria and nor can I do anything for the children that have been doused with chemicals. Feeling anxious or nervous about a new job now seems so irrelevant.

I am not indicating that feelings are insignificant. In fact we have to allow them to vibrate through our being. When we shove them down they eventually transpire into something, somewhere along our path. The stuff that is happening is Syria leaves me feeling broken and a little helpless about the world. There is so much that I do feel especially when I see children suffering. I feel the grief of not having my own children, I feel that no human being should ever have to be exposed to that level of suffering and I feel the injustice.

So for now I can make a choice to own my mind and thoughts. I can either spend the day in suffering about what the morning has presented with or I can create a different awareness and ensure that I am living love and peace in all that I do. I may not be able to stop the war but as the lyrics of the Pearl Jam resonate I can evoke for myself that “I was born and I know that I’ll die
the in between is mine – I am mine”
– Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

 

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVho74SDOis

25. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them

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Christmas festivities have subsided for another year and the quite lull is welcoming. The season seems to provoke so much and with it an avalanche of emotions, good bad and indifferent. For some the empty chairs  is what hits the hardest, for others the financial strain soars and the toxins we induce into our bodies aren’t always that great. But hey, Merry Christmas and HO HO HO! Me personally I can be the Grinch who stole Christmas and seriously doesn’t give a F&*K or I can sway to the peace and prosperity that the season brings. It all depends on which day you speak to me.  I really dislike the emphasis that we seem to place on one day and the commercialism of it all. How about we don’t wait for one day to be happy and all things holly? How about we practise kindness and compassion every day?

Now please don’t take what I have to say as gospel as often what I am writing is also a reminder to myself? Do I practise kindness and compassion every day? Heck no! I don’t go out being a deliberate asshole but there are certainly times when I haven’t taken the time or respect to fill myself up with what I need so how can I possibly be doing it for others?  It doesn’t mean I have to go into the story about it all rather recognising and having an awareness about what is happening for me not to me.

It has been a while since I have written my blog. Instead I have spent the most part of the year writing a book that has been in the making for almost 15 years. The book is primarily about suicide awareness and prevention, my own journey of mental illness and many roads of recovery. So when I read the affirmation for today a number of thoughts ran through my mind. I thought about Christmas and what it meant for me and then I began to reflect on what a year it has been.  There is just so much! Where do we start really?

What I did notice most poignantly was that the “universe works on many principles” and indeed it does. There is so much focus on searching and looking for that one thing to make it better, for that one thing to make it right. All along everything we need is already inside of us we just have to work our way to find it. Sometimes the search is long and arduous and other times it can be magical and quick. Other times it flashes before our very eyes and sometimes it takes the wind out of us. Whatever it may be is right for you and what works best. We try so hard to please everybody else that we simply forget the most important aspect of self. That everything is perfectly imperfect just the way it is. If you want it to be different, choice is simple, make your own rules and create your own dance. The universe works on many principles that are beyond our control. They work independently of our opinion, and work even if we do not understand them. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoox

18. The Journey

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The title of the affirmation today comes from a coffee shop that I am sitting in front of at the Gold Coast airport. I am waiting for a shuttle bus to pick me up so I can stay with my bff for a few days and I am so excited I may just wee myself! I usually take my affirmations with me when I go away but clearly I forgot. Instead of being regimented I decided to sit and write about whatever I was presented with and so here I am. There is something about packing a suitcase and heading to an airport that fills me with such excitement, so I suppose when I saw the words “The Journey” staring at me I took it as a sign to write some words.

Yes it is exciting getting on a plane and going to visit wonderful places or connecting with loved ones. What I truly love about travel are the experiences along the way that define and shape the journey for you as in life. I have had such beautiful connections on the way from Melbourne to Gold Coast in such a short time that it has whooshed me straight into my heart space. I make a conscious and deliberate action to be present and to be in the moment of what I am doing, unless I am reading or writing. Even as I wrote on the plane today the man seated next to me asked me what I was writing about and we spoke for a while. There was a lady who sat next to me for a short while and we somehow began speaking about Cambodia. In such a short amount of time I was speaking to complete strangers about two of my most passionate topics, suicide awareness and Cambodia.

So yes right now for me it is about getting on a plane and having a little adventure to Bryon Bay but it also allows me to reflect on so much more than that. It reminds me to be in the present moment and to be reminded about the magic and miracles that follow us each and every day.  We always seem to be waiting for this or that to make our lives just right but what if they were perfect just the way it was right now. What is it that we are actually waiting for? We only have right now and we have so much of our precious lives to live.

I am always learning for if I stopped I may as will be dead. I am not perfect far from it in fact but what I do know it that I am imperfectly perfect just the way I am. We have a moral responsibility as we live on earth and at the very minimum to be loyal and compassionate to one another. To be in service where we are sharing our unique gifts and lead an authentic life with integrity. It truly doesn’t matter where you have been but it does matter where you are going. For me right now I am looking forward to many moments of magic and miracles as they follow my days. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste

11. Welcome to another glorious day.

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I can’t help but feel for all the homeless people on Melbourne streets tonight. Today truly feels like winter and as I whinged and moaned about the cold I stopped. First world problems, walking a few 100 metres to get to a warm car, warm house, warm office. Outside right now is freezing. There is sadness for those who are spending tonight and many other countless nights on the streets not only in Melbourne but in so many parts of the world.

It would be easy to write about welcoming another glorious day. I wake up in a warm bed, switch my heater on, have a hot shower, fill my belly with nutritious food and start my day. How does someone who sleeps on the streets welcome another glorious day? The amount of resilience, strength and courage that is demonstrated for those “sleeping rough” is absolutely heroic.  I have heard myself whinge when my ears slightly ache in the cold if I have forgotten to wear a beanie. I have been so blessed in my life with shelter, food and ALWAYS having somewhere to live. For so many others it is not the same.

It is not about feeling guilty or not deserving of what we do have, it is more about awareness of social justice, equality and freedom for all. We live in a country where homelessness should not exist. I don’t generally listen to the news but I have been intrigued by people’s comments, viewpoints about the recently reported “homelessness” issue.  There is a notion that people who are “homeless” should take what they can get. When sleeping on the street is a safer option that a “rooming house” that is offered by the government, surely as a collective we can feel compassion.

There has been a lot of coverage of late in regards to the issue and of course the perception of solutions seems appropriate. I work in mental health and the housing system is in crisis overload. The housing that is offered is at times depressing and dangerous. I don’t feel it is fair to blame any one person or political party but perhaps more of an awareness of what responsibility I can have in creating change. I am involved in some local projects. The Period Project supports women with sanitary items and dignity. There are so many projects that can be supported, so many ways to create change.

I don’t have a definitive answer for homelessness in Melbourne yet alone the rest of the world. What I do know is awareness and personal responsibility that we have to each other. Over 6,000 young people are forced to either ‘couch surf’ or ‘sleep rough’ every night in Victoria. These figures only include young people, not to mention the countless others. So how do you welcome each and every day?

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xx

78. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have.

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The affirmation for today is one that comes to me at the perfect time. It is a reminder to be patient, kind and compassionate. A lesson that we can easily let slip by at the best of times. I have done a lot of work on self and the most freedom is that of personal responsibility especially when “stuff” is presented. Don’t get me wrong I am not claiming to be an enlightened guru that knows better than the next person, in fact I am learning more every single day. Quite frankly I would rather be learning than to be stale and righteous. What I am aware of and accept as part of my role as being human is personal responsibility and knowing that each situation that is presented is an opportunity to learn.

The last few weeks have been filled with growth. They have not been fun to say the least. What I have found is that there are times and situations where I just wish that individuals would take personal responsibility for their own “crap and insecurities”.  When I am in “grumpy pants” mode my patience wears thin and I retreat into my head which in no fun at all. What my head is saying perhaps should not be translated to words that are actually delivered. Pretty sure it is better that way. As I continue to write I am stirred by the events. As much as I am willing to accept that we are all doing the best we can it also comes at a cost to humanity when people are simply mean and rude. It is not cool and my patience for those who don’t have awareness about personal responsibility really stirs my pot!

Now one could say that I am calling the kettle black and in some ways I certainly am. What I do know is that instead of blaming I am prepared to look within and facilitate for myself what my triggers are and where they have come from.  What I do know is the crap that I was receiving and feeling were still parts of me that needed to heal from my past. It showed up in the most unexpected way and I am grateful to the person that delivered the lesson but it still doesn’t make it OK to be disrespectful.

So for me the affirmation reminds me about a couple of things. It is a reminder that the only person that has responsibility for the way we feel is self. Ultimately when we are triggered by another it is an opportunity to heal and grow from that experience. It is a timely reminder to be patient to those who act in ways that are not in alignment with love for they are still finding ways to love themselves. For me it also means that I now love myself enough to not take it personally and to know that my purpose it to live with a compassionate heart and to be of service. We are all doing the best we can with the understanding, knowledge and awareness we have. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xxx

76. I am grown-up and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways.

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Oh universe you are extremely funny with the affirmation that I have been presented with today. I certainly know this is a lesson that has been on the forefront for me especially in the last week or so. I generally don’t have an issue with telling people what I feel but there are certainly occasions where I find it more difficult. I also truly believe that if you do not deal with an issue that has presented itself to you then it just transpires somewhere else at another time in your life. Just as it has in this instance and I knew that if I didn’t deal with it would just reel its ugly head in one way or another.

I was confronted with another little life lesson of dealing with an individual whose behaviour was far from appropriate. My natural instinct was to inform them that were a complete and utter tool. Possibly not the best outcome for either of us and I know better. As much as it feels great to swear profanities at this person in my mind, I have to admit I find it somewhat soothing.  Instead I have churned about what to do; I have deliberated, meditated on the issue and felt that I had come up with a solution. What I didn’t consider first and foremost was that I am a grown up. This is not to judge but simply to acknowledge that this was something for me to learn and grow from.

What I did recognise along the way was the fact that I wasn’t dealing with it was making me feel agitated and unsettled. I found myself to be reactive and restless in situations as the forefront of the issue was becoming more obvious and apparent. This is why I love personal responsibility and how powerful and creative we can actually be when we acknowledge that we are responsible for our own actions and outcomes.  Whilst I did find some of the issues that I was confronted with absolutely ridiculous and not in alignment with my core values and beliefs I really had to ask myself “what was this really about?” Sure I could have gone on a tangent and reacted to the information that I was receiving and that would have alleviated my stress for about 5 whole minutes or I could be a grown up and be comfortable enough to ask for what I want.

So thank you for the reminder of the affirmation today. As it worked out the universe presented a perfect opportunity for me to say what I felt. I must admit there is still a small part of me that wants to tell this person what a tool they are (hey I never claimed to be perfect). What I do know is that when I am in my heart space, I know that my purpose at this time in my life is to live with a compassionate heart and be of service. Ego does get in the way for we are only human and this is truly the way we learn. Personal responsibility and taking action for what has been presented to us is magic. I am grown-up enough and comfortable enough to ask for what I want in positive ways. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxoxox

74. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now.

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I know that there is certainly no mistake or coincidence that the burst of energy I have just received to write, is because it is the exact conversation I was having earlier with a friend. It is the reminder that I needed to hear, the lesson my soul yearned to feel and to celebrate the imperfect glorious mess that I am.

We are often our own worst enemy and as clichés as that may sound it is so true. Why is it that we feel we are only loveable when we are happy and satisfied with the way life is working out for us? Why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves when we are going through the slippery slide of mess, dishevelment and the crazy that is going on in our head?

There are potentially a million reasons why we choose to not love ourselves! It is our childhood, the person that broke our heart, blah blah blah the list can go and on. Sure these can certainly be contributing factors to our self-esteem and worth. Ultimately if we truly had this love for ourselves it wouldn’t matter or we would not have ended up in that situation to begin with.

One of the reasons I believe is that we were never actually taught how to. I don’t recall any teacher standing up in the front of a classroom teaching us self-love and self-worth. Perhaps it is a lesson that is learnt through pain, heartbreak and grief. I am no guru and I don’t have any self-fulfilling prophecies for you. One thing I do know is that the lesson of self-love comes up for me time and time again. Just when I think I have got it, whoosh the universe presents me with a little dash of something and I feel I have been flung back like a rubber band about to be propelled to the dismalness of self-loathing.

So why do we find it so difficult to love ourselves and wait for the perfect scenario to do so. “Well when I have the perfect job, relationship, lover then I will truly be able to love myself” What a croc of crap! The void that we want another to fill is dangerous and when we seek external factors self-love is absent.

Love for self is honouring and worshipping the total glorious, shadow, weird and wacky self. To find the gifts of gratitude beneath from the depths of our murkiness is love. I spent so much of my 41 years appeasing to what I thought would make me more loveable. Now I know that embracing all of me can only attract more of the same in my life. Fortunately or unfortunately the lessons of loving self came at a cost, but it is up to me to choose to love that part as well right here and right now. So you may not have your “shit” together. Who cares? Love all of your right now because you are imperfectly perfect just the way you are. I no longer wait to be in perfect in order to love myself. I choose to love myself as I am, right here and right now. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxox

65. I am open to new things. I keep my mind active and alive by exploring new frontiers. Such discovery keeps me mentally strong.

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There is a saying that I particularly love “If you have always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got”. For me today the affirmation is a reminder that I am completely where I am meant to be even if it has been totally out of my comfort zone.  I love to learn and in life when we are not in flow it is certainly time to just stop, reflect and explore new avenues and possibilities.

An aspect that keeps coming up for me and one that I continue to learn and explore is our own shadow, that we are the creator of our own story and what has been presented to us. For me this has been one of the most liberating ways to take on situations and to find a new freedom in which I am able to deal with situations and people.  Stubbornness, hanging onto stuff and the need to be right are parts of my life that are of lower vibration for me. For me it is far more beneficial to take personal responsibility for what has occurred and an opportunity to do things differently. It is so easy to blame and to think that you have been wrong done by another. To actually take a step back and reflect why that situation was presented to you to begin with is such an act of freedom and is truly healing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am human and I don’t sit cross legged and hum “om” when shit goes down. In fact I can at times be a complete raving lunatic and I am happy to own it. On the flipside I know that I am also a kind, huge hearted and compassionate being. This is the beauty of our shadows and as they come up so we can address them and flip them around.  So when I reflect on my blog and the reason I write for myself and others it is also about having an open heart and to come from a place of compassion.  I am ALWAYS open to new things especially when life isn’t flowing with ease and grace.  I have had road blocks and have not had the outcomes that I had perceived. It’s taken me a bit to get to this place and not something that I have done on my own. Having a tribe around you that feels and knows you well enough when you are not ok is a gift that is truly priceless and where unconditional love truly resonates.

So right now I am brainstorming and checking out new areas of life that put a fire in my belly. I am exploring opportunities that I had not considered previously and my outlook feels fresh and exciting. What felt like panic and anxiety, I now feel a sense of relief and passion that everything is possible and the universe is filled with infinite possibilities and potential. The process has been interesting and took a whole lot of digging and knowing that there is so much strength to be gained when we expose our vulnerabilities. I am open to new things. I keep my mind active and alive by exploring new frontiers. Such discovery keeps me mentally strong.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxx

 

I am comfortable with my power at work. Because my power comes from my heart, it is always loving, gentle and just.

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Wowsers this topic has come up so much from me in the last week that when I saw it as the affirmation for today I wanted to avoid it because quite frankly, I didn’t want to. But in true universe style I know that the lessons always come to me when I need to learn them for whatever reason. I know that there are no mistakes and when I don’t hear and learn from it is that I meant to the lesson will just keep presenting itself. Nearly every day in the last week my power and what I do has come up. For me it is about recognising my own talents and to trust that I am a powerful woman without cringing when I say it. To know and truly understand that true power does come from your heart.

For me today this affirmation feels very poignant for so many reasons. As I am writing the song that is on the radio is from Wilson Phillips – “Hold On”. The lyrics read;

“Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you

Don’t let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?”

 

Oh the irony on how we receive messages some times. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that song over the years and never has it meant more to me than what it does right now.  I truly love the way the universe works and believe me it is very persistent and messages can be delivered to you in so many ways. Considering the amount of conversations that I have had about this very topic this week I know that it is an absolute confirmation about stepping into what I already know. It is about standing in my own power that is straight from the heart and is always loving, gentle and just. Right now I feel like getting that tattoo tattooed on my forehead so I can never ever forgot what it means to me. No more playing small, no more being so bloody afraid of my own power to step up and say yes to success.

It truly amazes me as humans just how much we like to complicate our own journey and path. The universe generally sets out a clear path for us to follow. Being the intricate and analytical beings that we sometimes tend to create these ginormous blocks. We then have to navigate our way around all the challenges we have just created for ourselves. Such a disservice and what a headF*&K! I guess as cliché as it sounds it is all a part of the journey but such a long and hard road we make it for ourselves. I get that we learn what we have to at the perfect time but if you are reading this right now and contemplating about stepping up, take it from me this is a sign to know that you are perfect just the way you are. This has been an awesome lesson for me and I am grateful for all it has taught me along the way, but really it did take a while for the penny to drop. For the angels that presented this week to teach me the lesson, thank you from my heart to yours.  I am comfortable with my power at work. Because my power comes from my heart, it is always loving, gentle and just. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With HUGE love

Sonia

xxoo