“If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit” – Bankay

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I was watching the Bachelorette the other night. Yes I know it is a highly intelligent and stimulating show. One of the guys on the show stated “I just want to be happy”. I was intrigued by what he had said and thought, does this mean you are not happy? Does it mean you are only happy once you are in a relationship?  How do you know what happy means and how is happiness defined?  If we don’t experience the extremity of sadness how do we know what happy feels like?

Today was my Nonna’s birthday. She passed over 6 years ago. I sat on the beach for a few hours today and remembered all of the beautiful lessons that I learnt from her. I felt her resilience, strength and courage in all that she endured. She had a tough life. My Nonno completed suicide and she was left to raise 9 children on her own. Her smile and laughter was far and few between. I felt happy in my sadness of missing her and wishing that I could hear her just one more time.  As I sat on the rocks and closed my eyes I could feel the whispers of her wings close by. I felt sad that she is no longer here but happy that there was so much to remember and smile about.  Can we be happy in our sadness? Why is it that we feel so uncomfortable with feelings that don’t elate us? I know for me that so much growth happens from pain. It is where I have the opportunity to dig deep and learn more about why I am here in this one precious life.

So when I came across this quote today I reflected it back to happiness and what that meant for me.  I don’t think we are always meant to be happy and why do we perceive sadness as negative? Maybe those times are just “rest” times in our lives. For me happiness is about being content in where I am no matter what is presented. It certainly doesn’t mean that I always have my shit together in fact far from it. It is not about one person being better or superior than another. We are all in different stages of our lives; this is what makes us imperfectly perfect. There is a process to healing and we all learn when we are meant to. I am not sure that we ever work it all out. I do feel that is a work in progress and personal responsibility for where we are at is the freedom of happiness.

I don’t want to wait for another human being to make me happy and quite frankly it is not fair to have that expectation of another. It doesn’t mean that others don’t bring happiness to our lives; in fact the core of connection is pivotal. What it does mean is not having an expectation that another person or situation can give us something that we cannot give ourselves. If we can’t find a sense of happiness within then we can’t expect it from another. The best relationship that we are ever going to have is the one we have with ourselves.  If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Blessed be. So it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

2. Blame is a neat little device that you can use whenever you don’t want to take responsibility for something in your life. It is the refuge of the externally oriented person.

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Today I am writing from the calendar Every day Wisdom by Dr. Wayne D Dyer. I still am so saddened by his passing, especially because he was on my bucket list to meet. I could certainly blame him for dying or I could actually work on my  bucket list rather than it being just a list in my home. The theme of personal responsibility has come up a lot for me especially in the first few weeks of the New Year. It is like the universe tried to cram as many life lessons as they could in the first few weeks juts to make sure that I got the message.  I am hearing it loud and clear! So as I flicked the calendar to the date for today I felt compelled to write about this very issue that has been gnawing at me for weeks.

I have been dealt some really shitty behaviour in the last couple of weeks. It has been a crescendo of events that have eventually come to a head and the lesson is rewarding. However the action of another is simply disloyal and disrespectful. I am learning and as I like to see it a work in progress. I truly believe that we always continue to evolve and learn. I could certainly sit here and write 500 words about the actions of another person and their shitty behaviour and it may possibly make an interesting read. Instead I am learning the lesson and truly moving on. What is different this time for me is that I am learning about compassion for myself.

What I do know is that this behaviour that has been presented to me has happened for some time. Whether it has been from a partner, relative, friend, boss or colleague, I have allowed it to occur time and time again. I have felt compassion for the other person and understood that I have attracted that behaviour for a reason. I have also felt compelled to understand that the behaviour is not personal rather an indication of their own self-worth.  I could go on and on but you know what I am boring myself with the story. I am done!  Fuck off with your “need” to manipulate to make yourself feel better. My boundaries of self-worth and compassion far outweigh your insecurities and it is game over.

For me this has been a reoccurring pattern. It has been ever so subtle that at times I hardly recognised what was happening. Until it smacked me in the face and I was left with “are you kidding me?” My biggest lesson is that I have allowed this to happen for such a long time that I would rather send love and compassion for another being than deal with my own stuff of self-worth and compassion. Whilst I can still be loving and compassionate I no longer will allow my precious source of energy to be consumed by such distaste of behaviour. Energetically I have removed myself and funnily enough when I was saw the individual in question not even a salutation was exchanged on their part. I often ask the universe for those that are in their highest integrity to share my path so I know that they heard my prayer. I don’t blame the other person rather I can now thank them with love and compassion for the lesson I have been shown but the difference is I have now disconnected from them. Their healing is their own personal responsibility, not mine. Our paths may still continue to emerge for one reason or another but my own boundary of compassion of love for self is about standing in my own power of truth and integrity. I take back my power. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

77. As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others.

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Forgiveness is such an act of freedom. Too often we perceive forgiveness as a sign of weakness especially when somebody has caused us an injustice of some kind.  When I write about my blog for today there are a few things that come up for me. One of them is the men that have played such significant parts in my life.  What I have discovered is that just because you are “over” a situation it doesn’t mean that you don’t still have things that you may or may not need to learn from. I am not one to get into nitty gritty details about my life and talk about what others may or may not have done. It is not my style. What I do know is that some of the actions that have been displayed by men in my life have been shitty and not very nice. Yes I take personal responsibility for this because I allowed it to continue. F*&K I spent almost 20 years of crappy relationships but I did not know any better or different. Now I do and I can practise forgiveness.

So when I was confronted by a man recently with behaviour that was untoward, I wanted to tell him what a total tosser he was. I was really pissed at the universe because I just couldn’t understand why this was being presented to me. What did I have to learn? To top it all I also learnt that a friend lied about a situation. By this stage of the week I wanted to tell the world where to go. In the midst of it all, there were bit fat egos circling my days.  I was attempting to be at peace with where I was at but I am sure if you listened closely you would have heard profanities mutterings coming from my area.

So what this is teaching me is that there is so many times in my life where people have treated in ways that I have not liked or deserved. The violin strings could come out right about now but instead I can reflect and acknowledge the times that I have not treated myself with dignity and respect. The amount of times that I allowed situations to occur again and again and now it was being presented to me in full force.

What is different this time is I am not the same person I may have been all that time ago. This time I have self-worth and respect but what I am able to acknowledge is the pain and hurt that was caused. There is nothing cool about emotional abuse, betrayal and coming from ego to make it better for the other person.  When we sustain these kinds of relationships in our lives it is because our worthiness does not exist and the only way we know is to self-destruct.

The lessons of love are ones that are stemmed from forgiveness. Ultimately if we cannot forgive ourselves for our perception of where we have not lived our truth or have been authentic then we are in the mode of self-destruct. This energy and vibration put us in a place of ego and we do not feel and live the true essence of who we are. To the energy vampires that ultimately lead me to a place of trust, compassion and forgiveness, THANK YOU but for the sake of humanity take personal responsibility and deal with your crap! To my inner self I forgive you for not having enough respect and self-love to honour the scared path that I am walking at this time. I know that if I do not forgive then I can never really fully love.  As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

27. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself.

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Life presents us with many challenges.  Some of the challenges are fun and some are ones that change us forever and our lives are never quite the same. It is ridiculously easy to blame other people and situations for “stuff” that happens. Instead of blaming, personal responsibility is the main factor in our lives. Sure we are presented with crap and in those times people situations and events can be more than overwhelming. We can choose to sit in victim mode and not do anything about it or we can create the change that we want to be in the world.

I live in Melbourne and lately there have been some not so nice events that have happened. There have been numerous attacks on vulnerable people and in some situations death. It doesn’t feel nice at all and as a normal reaction people have been going into blame mode. Blame of our justice system and simply blame for whatever. I am not by any means justifying what has been happening or nor do I think that it is OK. What I do know is that being compassionate and of service each and every other day is a way that I now choose to live my life. To make a difference, to create change and to live a life where I do believe and know that peace and harmony exists. If I keep putting out there how “fkt up” the world is all that I will attract is more of the same. Instead what I do is pray that people heal, I send love and I live with a compassionate heart and live with faith that more of the same will not happen.

So many of us go into meltdown, blame or anger when a crisis or tragedy hits home and it is a relatively normal reaction. What is important is that we do not live there. For the innocent 17 year old that was murdered in broad daylight a few kilometres from her home the injustice is heart wrenching. I have read and continue to read the hate towards the attacker and anger towards the justice system.  Peace and harmony begin with us. Are you always kind and loving? Do you treat complete strangers with kindness and respect? Are you of service to humanity? Do you come from a place of love and compassion in all your interactions? Are you authentic and do you live your life with integrity? Do as you feel with the answers. I am not claiming to be perfect; in fact I am happy to own that I am imperfectly perfect. What I do know is that it does not feel right to have an outlet to blame or to throw more of the same into the mix. I make a conscious decision every day to take personal responsibility about what happens in my life and what I attract. Sometimes the lessons are fkn hard and painful but at the very least I own them. So before hurling abuse towards another take a step back and ask yourself to be the change that you want to see in the world. I take care of my body, my home, my workplace and all other areas of my life. I alone am responsible for myself. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo