10.What is your why?

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I watched the movie Collateral Beauty a few days ago. It is one of those movies that leaves you pondering and for me wiping my tears and snot from my face. There were so many profound lessons and moments that I took away, and for parts of it I am still processing the dynamics. It was about connection of life and the interpretation of time, death and love. Within it there was the collateral beauty of what it all brings and perception of what life truly means and is.

Life is so much about connection and without it out we lay dormant.  For me right now I have made a decision to relocate to another state. In just under a short month I will move to Queensland. So what is my why?  I feel like it is time to challenge myself to a place where for most of the time the skies are blue and I don’t have to wear 4 layers of clothing to feel warm. Ok so that is not the only reason. For me connection is so much more and right now at this time I am not feeling it in Melbourne. I am so blessed with an abundance of family and friends and for 42 years I have called it home but I just feel like there is more. When we truly connect to who we are and what we are here to do with this one precious life we are in flow.

Life changes and for most of the time it just is. It presents us with challenges and hurdles that we wish we could simply F*&k right off. It is what we do with these moments that ultimately shape us to the people we are and the role that we play in our world. We can either choose to feel like we have been hard done by or we can turn it around and live from a place of harmony and joy. It doesn’t mean that it will be easy for we cannot have one without the other. We would never know joy if we did not experience pain. We shy away from pain and the feelings that bring us the most discomfort because we feel like it is too hard to go there. We connect with others through our emotions and experiences.  If we are not delving into the depth of our soul, connection waivers and perhaps we are only half living.

So when I reflect on this next chapter of my life instead of analysing the crap out of what if, I simply say to myself why not? Am I fearful of the next chapter and moving to another state away from everything that I have ever known? Absoufuckinlutley! But you know what I am more afraid of not going and never knowing.  What I do know is what life has taught me so far. It has taught me to take risks, to know that life is measured by the love we give and most importantly to be of service to precious humanity. To be kind and loyal to one another, even in the moments of distaste and injustice.  Actions of destruct are never OK nor are they pleasant. What I have come to understand is that hurt people, hurt people and where there are so many disharmonies we simply must be peace. What I do know is that my why is simply to be love living and to find the beauty of all that is. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

9. Everyone Matters.

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I have woken really early this morning and can’t help but think about the murder of a 13 month old girl. Two separate friends told me about it yesterday and I just wasn’t ready to hear it. It is literally down the road and clearly has had some affect if it is want I am thinking about at 5:00am in the morning.  When a mother decides to take the life of their own child there has to be something seriously wrong. I had a read about what had occurred and the mother was taken to a local police station where she was not able to be interviewed due to her psychiatric illness. The devastation fell upon my heart as I guessed that this is what may have happened. So much sadness not only for the precious cherub that was murdered by her own mother but for a woman who was so unwell that this is what she succumbed to.

Yesterday morning I woke up to read the final chapters of my book. It was predominantly about my cousin Cathy who took her own life over 2 years ago. I still can’t comprehend at times that she has gone and that this was her fate that took place. It is in fact very true and still quite raw. I try really hard not focus on the heaviness that surrounds this situation, rather it allows me to be more determined to create change, to do more and to absolutely finish the final moments of my book about suicide awareness and prevention. Every 3 hours somebody in Australia chooses to take their own life. So by the time you have woken up for the day at least 2 or 3 people would have died. Not sure about you but this statistic creates heaviness beyond what I can describe but a surge of determination to do more.

My own experience and history of mental health ultimately has led me to this one precious life that I am now leading. I am beyond grateful for the resilience, strength and courage that it has taught me.  So how does all this connect to a woman in Reservoir that murdered her 13 month old? For me the questions furiously circled my mind. How did this go unnoticed? What happened to her? Why was she driven to do what she did? She just didn’t wake up one morning and decide to kill her child? From what I have read there had also been 13 accounts of reported domestic violence. (Who know if this is true?) It doesn’t matter because it is all a story and drama. Let’s get to the core of humanity and why she couldn’t reach out before she got to that point? Why my cousin Cathy who has an extended family of 70+ people but still felt that this was her only choice. These are the issues that are important to me and one that we all have a moral obligation to create a world that is safe. It is not OK that the life of this child is no longer but it feels worse not do anything about it. Everyone matters. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

HUGE LOVE

Sonia Muraca

xoxoxo

8. What have I done today to help a younger person think for themselves?

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(The kids of Cambodia to whom I am forever grateful for the lessons of simplicity, gratitude & unconditional love)

Our little people of the world are such a precious and unique gift. Today I am celebrating a friend’s son 1st birthday and his blessing to the world. I am not a biological mum but I am surrounded and so very blessed to have so many children with whom I share my life with. One of my most valued roles is being a “zia”. I love the unconditional love that I am offered and the gifts that I am relished with.  Life takes turns and twists and I suppose on some level I had anticipated that I would be a mum. At the age of 42 I am not. There is acceptance that being a biological mum won’t happen in this lifetime. At times there has been a yearning to explore this area but it is not something that I choose to dwell on nor is it something that I spend my energy in regret or angst. It simply is. Instead I can focus my energy outward and be the best role model that I can possibly be, to create a world where little people become the shining light that they need to be.

We are born into this world being a blissful energy of purity. What happens along the way as we grow and learn is often the way that our lives are shaped. Life happens and we teach children what we know. There is no right or wrong and the lessons we are meant to impart we will. Children are our greatest teachers and the amount of learning that we can encapsulate from them is the essence on how we can strive to be better people. There are no masks or facades. They simply are just who they need to be and show up exactly as they are. This is the beauty. However what is important is the knowledge and wisdom that we impart. Are we teaching them fear? Are we teaching them to be the best versions of who they can possibly be? Are we keeping them small through our own belief patterns? I am not an expert nor am I a parent. What I do know and feel is that we owe it to our little people to teach them to make our world a different and better than the way we will leave it.

One of the greatest compliments that I received was a friend telling me the other day that her son wanted to catch up and talk about his upcoming school trip to Cambodia. He is excited to share his news and I can’t wait to hear about it. The smile and warmth that it generated was overwhelming and I was super stoked. He is a teenage boy and has a strong yearning to be a part of a building project and help those less fortunate than he is. This is life and our responsibility to make the world one that is safe and harmonious. Every action creates a reaction so let’s be mindful of the lessons we impart.  If this is the knowledge and courage that I can impart onto another then my heart is full. What have you done today to help a younger person think for themselves? Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE Love

Sonia

xxx

7. “Let’s get lost.”

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A friend sent me this quote a few days ago and it has been on my mind since then. It got me thinking about another quote that I particularly love. “Not all who wander are lost” J. R. R. Tolkien. I have been back a few short weeks from a holiday of a lifetime with my dear dad in Italy. I have spent a whirlwind of 3 weeks connecting with my paternal family and was enveloped with an abundance of love and a treasure chest of goodness. I have landed smack bang to Melbourne’s looming winter and have not loved it. I can hear myself whinging about the cold and grey days and I don’t like it. I refuse to let the holidays “blues” settle in. So I ask myself now what?  What is it that I want to create from this one beautiful life that I have?

The largeness of life, the gift of generosity and the natural state of being in my heart seems to have dissipated somewhat.  It has been the same kind of feeling that emerges each time I return from working in Cambodia. For me Cambodia is a place where I feel totally in my heart and leading from a place of deliberate action, opposed to just being. I am not sure it is something that I can simply write in words rather it is a feeling and knowing that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be.

I attended a drumming mediation last night and it has confirmed for me very much the feeling of connection and following your heart home. It is not to say that I don’t ever feel at home in Melbourne but rather the feeling of connection and purpose in all that I do. My work climate along with the current reforms is something that I battle and I am not in flow. The inequality to those that live with mental health issues will serve a greater injustice and my energy is spent on frustration and fighting a neurotic battle that makes me feel disconnected. So when I reflect on being “lost” it is about finding a different way.  To know that there is a bigger purpose. To really and truly step into your purpose and follow your soul to where it is meant to be. In this space there are no questions, and there are no second thoughts. The mindless chatter is eradicated and the connection to self is one that the soul is able to recognise. The feeling of “home” represents being in your heart and that life is in flow.

So when I feel into “wandering” or being “lost” for me it is not about wandering around aimlessly, in fact it is quite the contrary. It is about the connection to self and others. It is about stepping up and being in alignment with what truly matters. There are no guarantees, there is no promise of tomorrow and all we have is right now. So for me it means staying in your heart and listening to the gentle whispers of your soul. For when we are truly connected magic does truly happen. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo

6. Collect moments not things.

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I have just spent almost 3 weeks in Italy with my dad. The quote or saying “collect moments not things” has been one that has certainly played through my mind more than often. As the last day comes to a close the goodbyes are certainly difficult to endure.  I may have done my part in the area of Italian leather boots, but what I have loved the most are the moments that have captured my heart. I have loved meeting my cousins and I have so many!! My dad is one of 11 siblings so to say the least the number of family members overwhelms me.

I have loved meeting some cousins for the first time and others that I saw about 11 years ago. Most are in my age bracket and there is a connection with some beyond words. I have loved establishing relationships with my dad’s brothers and sisters as an adult and have felt an overwhelming sense of love and kinship that will be etched deeply within my heart. Speaking to cousins with an understanding that we have travelled similar experiences has created love that contains no boundaries of time and space. A depth of understanding that comes from a place that is shared and understood.

I initially had some reservations about travelling with dad. I wondered how we would get along and whether we would at all. After all we have a somewhat “typical” father daughter relationship and tend to bicker – just because we can. What I have loved is that I have learnt to understand him as man, an individual before he became my dad. I have understood his courage and resilience more than ever. His life was one that was led with scarcity. I have heard him say time and time again that life may have been tough but there was a unity that existed amongst the community that is no longer. So when I refer to collect moments and not things I can certainly take on the lessons that I have learnt on what has been an adventure and an avalanche of emotions. They have cascaded from a place that I did not know existed but they now take a special place in my heart in life.

To sum up the three weeks in a blog does not do it any justice. Instead what I can take away are the moments that have captured my heart. The goodbyes have been bittersweet. The extremities of the arrivals and departures are ones that are heart opening. I know that there is a love that didn’t exist before and a heartfelt pain that comes with distance and loss. I have captured moments and memories that are beyond anything that can ever be spoken and only felt. To collect moments with my dad on this trip to his motherland has been beyond what I could have ever imagined. Collect moments, not things. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

oxoxxo

5. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step.”

 

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(Dad & I)

I have been in Italy for the last week or so. Dad and I have travelled back to his motherland so he has the opportunity to see his family. When I saw the quote for today I thought about him at 72 years of age and making the decision to travel. I don’t really need an excuse to travel or explore so when the opportunity presented itself I was more than happy to go with him. It certainly hasn’t been a holiday where there has been lots of sightseeing of “things” but what I have encountered are lessons that will always remain.

From the moment we began our trip together I have loved watching my dad and all that he encounters along the way. It is funny that at some point in your life the roles of parenting reverse. This can be confronting but it can also be a time where the opportunity is one where growth is paramount. Dad hadn’t been inside an international airport for almost 30 years and he was in awe and captivated by what he saw. I admit there was some trepidation about travelling with my dad. At times we have a typical father\daughter relationship but for most of the time he is simply my dad. Watching him with fresh eyes and not just as my “dad” has been a lesson of empathy and compassion.

Dad was born and raised in a small town in Calabria. The main town in which we have spent our time has a population of almost 1,000 people. I am from Melbourne, Australia so one can imagine the contrast and extremities of difference. I have loved watching dad in his surroundings and being reunited with family and friends that he hasn’t seen for almost 30 years.  It is a feeling beyond words and one in which has allowed me to understand my dad in a way I have not known before.

For him especially making a small step and deciding to reunite with his siblings has meant so much more. His journey will always belong to him and whatever needs to take place for him will. For me this small step has allowed me to be in a space that I have not felt before. Usually consumed and challenged with time and a lengthy to do list, I have been forced to slow down and just be.

I have loved the serenity and mindfulness of being in each moment. The art of detachment in drama is one in which I am learning the most. After all Italian families and drama can inevitably go hand in hand. I am savouring in life lessons of what is important and what matters most. Being open and present is important especially when Italian is not my native language. The freedom of simplicity is bliss and one in which I value most. Sometimes the smallest times allows the greatest lessons to be learnt. “Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip Toe if you must, but take the step”. Blessed be.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxo

4. “Love leads us home”

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This saying has popped up a few times in the last few weeks. So when it came across my vision the other day I took it as a sign to “blog” about. When life is moving along with all things happy and daisy chains it is relatively easy to come from a place of love. It is when life throws us those curveballs and the hurdles present that leading life with an open heart can pose a little more difficult. This is where the real challenge lies. Well it does for me anyway. When I am angry, frustrated or sad I can throw love right out the window. Hopefully it is not too long before I pull over and pick up where I left off.

Yesterday I was reminded about living love with an open heart. Interestingly enough it was a tragic event that allowed me to really feel it. I can be quite oblivious about current news events. I don’t read the paper nor do I watch the news. I do however believe that when I am meant to hear something I will. I was at mums and dads and the news was on. The images were sprawled across the TV. The screen was filled with children fighting for their lives. They were choking and lying lifeless on the ground whilst parents scurrying with their limp child in their arms in the hope to save them. It was utter fear and havoc. The images were horrific beyond belief and ones that as much as I wanted to turn away from I couldn’t. There was a chemical warfare in Syria and the devastation continues to transpire on a daily basis. The loss of humanity is unbearable.

I later posted the clip to Facebook and of course it brought up a lot for stuff for people. Naturally it would. There was blame, sadness and not wanting to watch the horror that was presented. It is not about judgement. It is not about being right or wrong about what one person feels to the next. Rather for me it was about the quote that I came across. How does lead us home when there is so much injustice? How do we stay in a place of love when all we are exposed to is such a cruel and inhumane loss of lives?

What I do know is that I was a lot more conscious of my own thoughts. I didn’t feel like going into blame, nor did I go to an angry place instead I turned it around and thought about what can I do differently? Sure I can’t get on a plane and physically be in Syria and to be perfectly honest nor do I want to. Instead what I can do is to create more peace in the world that I live. After I posed the clip a friend suggested a “prayer\mediation” night. Perfect as a collective we are far more powerful than as individuals. It is only through love that we can conquer otherwise we are in the same vibration as the act itself. Whilst it is tragic beyond comprehension, I don’t want to waste time or energy that serves no purpose. Instead I can turn my attention out and create more peace and love. It is the true essence of love that leads us home. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

 

With a sprinkle of love and may magic follow your day,

 

HUGE love

Sonia

xoxoxo

3. Sometimes it is the fleeting moments that teach us the most.

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Life presents us with so much and it is entirely up to us in how we choose to deal with it. Sometimes the moments can be long and arduous and others may be short and fleeting. It can also depend entirely where we are at any particular time on how we choose to respond and react to the situation. There is a saying that I particularly love and it reads “people come into our lives for a reason, season or lifetime” Sometimes the reason hits us like a ton of bricks and throws us into a whirlwind that we did not anticipate. It can be beautiful and scary all at the same time.

I have been working on writing my book for almost a solid year now and I have finally finished. Fifteen years of an epic tale (even if I must say so myself) told in 36 chapters. When I set out to tell my story it was to create awareness about suicide and prevention. The lessons that is has taught me through the writing have been paramount and ones that I feel will always continue to teach me. The difference now is that the lessons have been learnt and the story is done. What transpires along the way is where the magic truly happens.

Life happens regardless of what bubble we are living in. I truly feel that our lives can throw us curveballs to monitor just how well we have learnt the lesson. Sometimes it is the fleeting moments that teach us the most. When we are present and in the moment, it is then that we can truly appreciate where we have been and what is yet to come. When we get stuck in where we have been and keep rehashing the story there is no growth that can occur and drama continues to play itself out.  It is heavy and the energy is dormant. I’m not sure about you but for me it is a pretty difficult way to live and there is no flow. Magic can’t come in and disconnection to self occurs.

Instead when we live with an open heart, remain in our integrity and are our true authentic selves, life flows and is at ease. It is easy to be dramatic and blame. Far out I have known this for so long and to be perfectly honest it is boring and dull. It doesn’t mean that the pain and hurt doesn’t not exist, rather it a choice to live without fear and ego. Ultimately what do we have to lose?

Don’t get me wrong some lessons have been tough and I can still wear my angry pants. What is different is that now I recognise my self-worth and understand that the most important relationship that I can have is the one that I have with myself. So no matter what happens in life and what is presented I can only learn lo love more deeply and my heart can never be broken it can only be more open.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxox

2. Shame stops you from stepping up.

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Last week I attended Aboriginal Cultural Awareness Training. It was inspiring, educational and tinged with sadness and shame. One of the trainers spoke about how “shame stops us from stepping up” I loved what this meant. This was not only in the context of the training but also the meaning this represented in life. My mind dives into all kinds of things where we may carry shame. I know for me personally there was so much shame connected to mental illness, failed relationships and all kinds of “stuff”. Trust me carrying the shame serves absolutely no purpose, so I loved when I heard that “it” stops you from stepping up.

We are ashamed for a number of reasons and all of our stories are different and unique. Shame is judgement which separates. Generally the shame and judgment is the one that we tend to place on ourselves. Seems ridiculous that we would do this, yet we tend do. Sure there are others that may make us feel ashamed. This can be for a number of different reasons for a multitude of motives. One of my ex partners would tell me that I was “damaged goods”, charming I know. Had I have known what I know now I quite possibly may have damaged his “goods” (Just jokes). The shame connected to this comment encompassed many facets. This is just a small snippet of a story but the shame stopped me from stepping up and stepping out of the toxic relationship.

I’m not about to get into the he said, she said story, rather what happens when shame exists. It is an emotion that is futile and keeps us stuck. So why did I allow this to happen? There was a part of me that did believe I was “damaged goods”.  I had already been married and felt that I had “failed” so there was shame associated. Culturally I had come from a place where “divorce” wasn’t something that just happened. So again I placed more shame upon myself. I somewhat accepted the comment of “damaged goods” because I somehow believed I was. This was not only because of my past but especially the label of mental illness that I had been carrying and the indoctrinated beliefs around these areas. My god what I story I had embellished myself in! The truth is no other person can make you feel that way unless there is a part of you that carries that emotion.

My self-worth at the point in my life was not something that I recognised. It was more comfortable to sit in shame than to actually acknowledge it. So instead these days I am able to shift the shame around. I am able to forgive myself for allowing myself to be treated less than what I deserved. I can take responsibility that in some way I created that situation. Shame is what we believe and perceive. It is an opportunity to grow and learn from our experiences rather than dwelling in what is no longer. The lessons of integrity, strength and courage far outweigh the heaviness and detriment of shames. Unveiling what truly matters is where the magic unfolds.

With a magic of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

1. I AM OPEN TO RECEIVE rather than “GO F*&K YOURSELF”

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For the last 4 or so years I have been writing a blog. The blog has usually been derived from some type of affirmation calendar. I have either purchased one or received one as a gift. This year neither happened. So we are halfway through January and I haven’t sat down nor have I taken the time to sit and write and do what I love most.  My blogs have usually consisted of turning a situation around but most importantly it is about being real, raw and vulnerable. It is not a spiritual blog that is going to make you feel better rather it is about connection.  It is not going to teach you how to be happy, nor is it going to tell you what you have to do. Ultimately that is up to you. Instead what it will do is connect you to what I am being guided to write about

When there is loss of connection to self, the cascade motion that follows can usually be of detriment. Hence when we want to tell the world and everybody in it to “go F&*K yourself. For those that know me well will know that may be a phrase that they would have heard. Perhaps not my proudest moments but it is who I am and I am forever learning. So for the last 24+ hours I have spent in my bathroom with an eloquent purging kind of virus. I am sure you can work out the rest. It has been crap literally. Call it a purge, call it a virus, call it whatever you will but what I do know is that out of every situation that is presented to us it is an opportunity to learn if that is what we want to do. We don’t have to learn if we don’t want to we can simply be stuck and continue to have the same conversations with the same situations. Boring and pretty much “go F*&(K yourself”

Now I am not suggesting for one minute that you should be going around telling anyone to “go F*&K themselves” Instead what I have recognised for me today is that when I get to this point it is  a tell-tale sign that there is something else going on. For me it is about feeling stuck, stagnant and my creative energy feels dormant. What I have learnt the best is that we weren’t meant to live this life doing it on our own. After speaking to a dear soul today I recognised what my soul needed to do. I took myself to the park and just sat. What came through was “I am open to receive” The “Go F*(K yourself” mantra appeared to dissipate. So instead of feeling stuck and stagnant a mere 15 minutes allowed me to connect to nature and I could hear my soul speak. As soon as I drove away from the park a car beeped me in the non-friendly version.  I instantly went to “go F&^K yourself” but this time I didn’t stay there I laughed.

Sending you an abundance of unicorn magic and fairy wishes

Sonia

xoxox