7. Don’t stop dancing in the darkness – Sonia



Suicide awareness week is approaching. For those that know me will also know that suicide awareness and prevention is something that I am passionate about and also something that is very close to my heart. When I use the words passionate and suicide in the same sentence it almost feels wrong. I am not passionate about suicide; I do however feel very purposeful about making a difference and creating change in this area. Our country is in a national crisis and where do we actually start and how do we actually make a difference. I don’t have the answers and I haven’t quite worked it out yet but what I do know is that connection and community are paramount.

A friend messaged me yesterday. She was angry at hurt about an incident that had occurred at her workplace. A colleague of hers was visibly upset as he had just heard the news of someone that had recently completed suicide. She felt horrible, angry and sad as she processed that yet another life has been lost to suicide. What was more startling for her is that he sat at his desk and cried, nobody seemed to be comforting him. Nobody around him at that time seemed to know what to say. Fortunately or not my friend has the inner resources to have a courageous conversation and talk about suicide. I have reflected a few times about what she has told me and at first I judged the others who simply couldn’t be present for another human being. Talking about suicide isn’t about unicorns and rainbows; instead it is real and raw and can be uncomfortable and tough.

I pray that we get to a point that we no longer have to talk about suicide because it simply doesn’t happen but until then we may need to find an alternative approach. When I feel into what suicide prevention and awareness means to be right now it is about having real and raw conversations. Too often we are told to “be strong”,” be grateful” or whatever positive affirmation it may be. Sometimes it is OK to just feel the shadows and process what needs to be. We avoid our darkness mostly because it frightens us. Our minds take over and we can spiral quickly if we don’t have the tools. What if we could simply be honest about what it means to feel dark and how much it hurts right now, opposed to scrambling up a strategy to make everything OK? What if the darkness that presents is perfect because that is the channel for growth?

I don’t proclaim to have it all worked out; in fact the last few months have been somewhat of a shit storm with the intensity of emotions that have transpired. This is life and we aren’t meant to do it on our own. We are meant to share and not from a place of shame or fear rather than from a place of courage, love and compassion for ourselves and others. It is the only way that we can truly support one another and show up exactly as we are in whatever moment that be. So in light of suicide awareness week let’s be real, raw, show up and create the change we wish to see in the world. #connect2createchange#

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day



Sonia xxxo

6. You can choose to climb without the struggle


Earlier this week I went indoor rock climbing to support a client that I work with. I haven’t been indoor rock climbing before so I was a little nervous about how I would go but also excited to do something new. What I can tell you is that I had heaps of fun. For the whole time that I was climbing I did not think of anything else but the next step. The young woman that I work with encouraged me to do one last wall and so I did. It was probably my most favourite wall to climb and she agreed and commented by saying “you can still climb without the struggle” I laughed at the irony of the comment as there was so much wisdom in what she said and exactly what I needed to hear.

Lately life has felt like a struggle. It doesn’t have to be good or bad it just is. However what I have been doing is concentrating on the struggle. I feel like life is in a bit of a limbo phase of where to next and how to from here. What I do know is that that simple phrase has stayed with me for a few days and has inspired to me a point of wanting to write today. I have been asking my higher self for guidance and I keep hearing step by step. This morning You Tube recommended a “Matt Kahn” clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i-B1hZIaek so I listened to it. He talks about choosing to be here amongst many other pockets of wisdom. What I have noticed is that there are many people around me that feel like life is a little tough right now. For the last few weeks I have been feeling the same. Is it the planets? the moon? a shift in our consciousness? I am not sure and nor does it matter, it can simply be and choosing to be where we are at.

So when I reflect on what I know and that is step by step and that without darkness we cannot have light. I know that it doesn’t have to be about the struggle but it is the climb that actually matters. So for now I can take a step back from what I have perceived to be a struggle and simply choose to be here in this moment, in this moment of the glorious emotional imperfect but perfect creative chaos. What I have perceived as feeling stuck and confusing can simply be a climb and choosing to be here. That doesn’t mean that I wave a magic wand and unicorns and rainbows appear, rather it is about taking simple action step by step and choosing to be exactly where I am at. That doesn’t mean that I want to stay stuck rather it is acknowledging whatever it is that is going on for me and processing it in a way that supports my purpose here on earth. You can choose to climb without the struggle. Blessed be and so it is. Thank you.


With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.


Sonia xx

66. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

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Sadness is a feeling that right now feels miles away as I get myself organised to go on a little getaway with my sisters and cousin to Queensland. I could write about how happy that it is making me right now and that sadness is far removed from my mind but that would make a contradictory blog. One of the reasons for the getaway is because there has been so much sadness this year and part of getting away is to have fun, be together and have some fun.

For me I know sadness all too well. Whilst I was in the midst of my depression over 15 years ago  it is something that I now have so much more awareness of and an aspect of my life in which I am truly grateful for. For me sadness and feeling flat is a part of my life that I have learnt to embrace, a space in which I am able to feel vulnerable and an experience that I am able to grow from.

A friend text me the other day and told me she “felt” me and that I was feeling sad. For me this is one of the greatest gifts that I am able to receive. Yes I was feeling sick and sorry for myself yet to know that there was another person that was happy to hold that space for me in my vulnerability allowed me to feel what it was that I needed to and move on from that feeling. It wasn’t about shoving it down and pretending that I was OK, rather it wasn’t about having courage and strength in my vulnerability to move through the feelings and process them the way that was beneficial to me.

Sadness is a feeling that we sometimes tend to shy away from. A feeling that at times we try to “snap out of” and one that tends to disassociate us from the rest of our world. It is a feeling that can have stigma attached to it and one that doesn’t always appear as acceptable from others. We all want to hang around happy uplifting people but yet we find it uncomfortable to sit with someone in their sadness. Now there is difference between negativity and sadness.  For me sadness especially this year has been one of the greatest gifts in which I have allowed myself to dig deep to what is truly important, to expose my vulnerability with those I trust and to gain insight and understanding to my shadow side.

Where sadness lies most for me is for my dear cousin who chose to take her life, not only for her but the countless others that felt that suicide was their only answer. It makes me sad that in a world where we are so many there can still be no connection that gives another individual enough courage to stay. Whilst there is sadness there is also an inner courage and strength to do more for others, to connect on levels that I haven’t before and to know and truly feel that we are all one, that we are connected. Whilst we celebrate each other with joy it is just as important to celebrate and be present in the sadness. It is Ok to be sad sometimes. Sadness is just another feeling. I allow it to be, and then it passes away.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With HUGE love



32. Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace.


It is just as well that this affirmation has been presented to me today. I reckon if I had of been even a week ago I may have thrown the affirmation calendar out the window and been done with it. The truth is since the death of my cousin, life has been challenging and fragmented to say the least. To go back to what was is not something that is attainable as a life event such as this one changes you forever. One thing that I am able to connect to is my heart space and this is a constant. The thing is that when “stuff” and ego consumes our lives getting into our heart space can become more difficult than usual and basic survival is required. I can go on and on about stores and stuff but basically they get boring and what attracts me to life is to sort my shit out and to live with pure joy, peace, purpose and happiness.

People or places can only annoy or irritate us if that “thing” resides within us already. True story! Confronting to hear but totes is what our shadow shows us. It represents what exists within us already or simply what we have to heal. Our shadows can be our biggest and greatest teachers in life. It is when we fully embrace what belongs to us and are no longer ashamed of what it means is where strength and growth takes place. It is where the stretch happens and we deal with what is blocking us at the time. So the next time somebody annoys you or irritates you, take a step back, hold compassion in your heart and look for the place where that behaviour may take place in your life.

I know that there have been situations of friendships and situations where I have been triggered. Sometimes it may take me a while before I am able to identify the trigger but there is usually the “aha” moment where I own my stuff and grow from it. It is easy to say a person is this or that and at the time they very well may be. That is not to say that the action of another that has hurt you is OK but when an action has irritated or annoyed you it is because it needs to be released and healed. Quite frankly I am all up for thanking the person for showing me what I am no longer. So rather than putting your energy into the “story”, give thanks to the situation or person that has brought it to light, heal and move on.

A few nights ago I went to a Tantric Dance Session (no I didn’t dance around a room naked and have sex with random people) instead what I did do was choose peace and universal love. When my friend and I left the dance session we felt elated and high on life and love (no drugs or alcohol involved). What we did agree on when we left that we wanted to imagine and create for ourselves a life where the world was simply universal love, peace and justice. The feeling that was so imminent was that nobody or place could have annoyed or irritated me. Call me a dreamer, call me what you will but as John Lennon sings “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. But I hope someday you’ll join us and the world will be as one” Today, no person, place or thing can irritate or annoy me. I choose to be at peace. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.