Connection, Community and Courage are the core values in the work that I do. I truly know and believe that without these pillars and foundation our wellbeing and chance of recovery in mental health can present as an unregulated nervous system and somewhat chaotic. Life can bring us many challenges and equally it brings joy and light. An aspect of mental health and wellness that I have navigated is the “bridge”. It is recognising the versions of me that that ultimately brought me to this point in my life and basically a lot of undoing of who I have been and what I have learnt.

That is not to make any version of my former self right or wrong it is just to understand that there are aspects of self that have not served me, have led to unhealthy patterns and relationships and ultimately having had a really negative impact on my mental health. It is not about blame, rather it is about responsibility of my own wellbeing and ultimately recovery within the version that exists for me right now.

Different versions of ourselves are always emerging, we learn the lesson, people fall away, our hearts hurt and we allow ourselves to experience the full spectrum of what life has to offer. Within all of that we recognise the true essence of who we are which ultimately can be a challenge.

When one is in recovery and wellness begins to feel tangible there is a so called “bridge” that tends to appear. What this bridge looks and feels like can vary from person to person.  You see there is no clear path for crossing the bridge because you simply haven’t navigated it before. Old patterning and versions of your former self appear when you least expect it and it makes getting to the other side difficult and the cycle of suffering visits you once more.

What I do know is that with the guidance and support that works for you, understanding of what it is that you are gripping onto also created a space and path that becomes clearer and far more tangible for you to understand. The “bridge” being a representation of what is to be overcome and finding the tools and resources for you to allow the emergence of what truly exists within you.

Within the work that I do as a recovery coach there are so many others that experience the same feelings, thoughts and patterns. The path is never the same for we are all on our own unique path of recovery. Staying the same may feel comfortable and familiar, however the unwillingness to know the depths of the other side keeps you stuck and stagnated. Recovery and healing are never linear and there is not a one size approach that fits all. Instead find what works for you and sometimes the declaration of courage is all you need to do to be in the space of what truly awaits you.

CONNECTION. COMMUNITY. COURAGE

I have been fleetingly picking up books of late and came across The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I didn’t read it from cover to cover but I got what I needed at the time. The message I received was about courage, compassion and connection. About 3 months ago I had a breakdown and my mental health wasn’t in a great place. I have always been open and transparent about mental health and am passionate about suicide awareness and prevention. The more we are able to talk about openly and honestly the less isolated we feel.

I was speaking to a colleague today and we both spoke about how we had been feeling. There had been a lack of connection to self, a sense of despair and at times all round questioning what life is about. Her vulnerability allowed me to be open about how I have been feeling and we were simply two souls shining our light on each other. What this allowed me to ponder is that I have refrained from writing my blog lately as I have felt that I haven’t had too much to share. When I am really true and real with myself there has also been a sense of shame attached because I became unwell and I should have known better. I also know that negative self-talk isn’t helpful at all to my emotional wellbeing.

This year has been tough for so many of us and for a myriad of reason. There is so much unknown and the uncertainty wavering. What I know now is simply the present moment. I have come to visit my family in Melbourne. I am grateful that I am able to do this. The not knowing of when I would see them proved too much for me at the time. Self-care seemed to take a back seat and it wasn’t long before I had depleted myself. Is it good\bad, right\wrong? What I do know from this space is that there can only be growth. What I also know is that being open, honest and transparent is far easier than pretending. Having the courage to simply be and show up exactly as we are is all we ever have to be.

What I am also learning is compassion. I seemed to have forgotten this for myself in the last couple of months. I have tried to work it out and simply just get better but life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. Connection and compassion to self is a lesson that I am learning and perhaps it is a place that I have visited before but now from a different space. The world as I knew it even 12 months ago is no longer and what worked for me then feels different now. I don’t have it all worked out but what I do know is that courage, connection and compassion are important values for this moment in time. When this is the energy that I can recognise for myself then it is what I can see in the world. Blessed be and so it is. Thank you.

 

#2020#connect2createchange#

With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia xxo

My thoughts have been far from my best friends today. I woke up annoyed and angry and I can’t say there was any kind and loving dialogue going on. Did I wave a magic wand and automatically think kind and loving thoughts? No not really. Instead I decided to do something constructive with my churning thoughts of anger and clean the house instead. I listened to music, did some laundry and allowed whatever it was that I was feeling to dissipate. It was at this point that I actually did notice the affirmation for today and felt the urge to write. It is pretty simple and easy to have kind and loving dialogue when life is flowing, but there are times that it doesn’t. How do we make our thoughts best friends during this time? I don’t feel it is a simple switch because there is often a process, one that allows you to understand where that feeling came from. The reason you got there or the trigger that sent you there to begin with. It is easy to blame this or that. What I do know is that this vibration only keeps us small and doesn’t allow expansion or growth and we simply stay the same. Sometimes our not so loving and kind thoughts allow us to explore. They can bring us to a point of change or release what no longer serves us. For a long time I believed being angry wasn’t constructive. I also know that it can often be disguised with a myriad of others feelings that perhaps haven’t had the opportunity to present. When we are not in tune with ourselves we don’t have the opportunity to deal with them as they present. So at times when we are triggered the easiest reaction can often be anger and annoyance. I am great at it at times; in fact I am sure if there was an award for it today I would have received it. For me I am still processing for now. Choosing not to sit and dwell in the company of anger and actually allow it to move through my body was something that I could do. Writing is a great tool to get me out of my head and back into my heart. Cleaning and cooking also works, at times and at least at the end of the day I have dinner, lunch for work and brownies baking in the oven. Were my thoughts kind and loving through the process? Not entirely. We can only do what we can at any given time. Even with the biggest toolkit we can still be reminded of the simplicity of just being present in each moment. To simply love what comes up for you at any given time for it is an opportunity to grow. #2020#CREATE#connect2createchange# With a splash of mermaid magic and let unicorns lead your way. HUGE LOVE Sonia xxo

I often look for quotes or pockets of inspiration to write about in my blog. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason, I happen to come across something, it resonates and I write. What I do often find is that there is pretty much always something to learn and grow from. Without growth we lay dormant. Our creativity is stifled and that inner spark is somewhat dimmed.  I haven’t been able to articulate or process the findings of the last month or so. It has been from a space I haven’t quite been before.  Sometimes in life when we are presented with a situation, we can feel the trigger and we know that perhaps there is something in which we need to heal. Other times circumstances are thrust upon us and we don’t quite know what to do with it.  For me right now I am in space of growth and discovering. Discovering what is yet to be and staying in the moment as much as what I possibly can.

What I do know is that with light there is also darkness of our shadow selves. Our shadow can delve us into a space of unknown which can propel us to unease and disproportion. It doesn’t mean that it has to be good or bad it simply means that it is a time to gather what we know and continue to learn. Life is simple and we often choose to complicate it. Trust me I know I can do this really well. What I also know is that when I feel myself reeling into a space of being disconnected it is also a time to connect, align and choose.  I can either choose love and simplicity or I can throw myself into a spanner of drama and non-alignment.  It doesn’t mean that the path that we sometimes cross is not difficult or painful. Rather the contrary, sometimes it is difficult, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and allows growth in a way that we possibly may not have yet imagined.

We can either choose to complicate life or live from a place of love. We can allow the influence of energy from others to determine the way we feel or we can be peaceful warriors. I am not claiming to be in this space of love and rainbows 24/7 in fact I don’t want to be. It is often from my shadow self that I am able to explore and process parts of self that require attention and growth. So for me now it is about digging that little bit deeper to unearth and embrace the new. I can choose to unpack in the uncertainty and uncomfortableness or I embrace a path that can be captured with possibilities and new beginnings. Loving life and one another can be as simple and difficult. Which one do you choose?

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxo

 

(beautiful Michelle in Bali)

I caught up with this inspiration of a woman yesterday. She has just returned from a whirlwind of a trip where she ran 84km across Bali. People came from across the globe to raise money for an organisation that supports an end to poverty through education. 84kms!!! I am lucky to be able to run 2 kilometres without stopping. I was in awe of her whole being light up as she spoke about her love of running and being of service. As I later watched some of the highlights from her run she spoke at the end of her 84km with so much courage and inspiration. I can barely breathe after 30 minutes of cardio! Her words resonated and I was filled with goose bumps and tears. “Love is what and why I do everything”.

I met Michelle a few months ago. We literally bumped into each a few days ago and decided to finally catch up for that coffee that we had been meaning to have. I am so grateful that we did. It was such a perfect reminder about life and why we are here. Ultimately as far as I am concerned we are all responsible to make the world a better place. For most of us we live in a very fortunate place with more than we could ever possibly need. I am aware that there are a lot of people that are doing it tough and I am by no means undermining this for others. Instead I have seen this as a huge reminder mostly to myself. Is love what and why I do everything? Our lives are so precious and short so why would we possibly have it any other way.

Michelle and I largely spent most of our “coffee time” together speaking about being of service. What joy we have both received being in a country less fortunate than ours doing something that we love. I couldn’t remember the last time that I had spoken about the work that I do in Cambodia or more importantly dedicating specific time and energy into a place that has filled my heart with so much love. If we are not doing everything with love are we living from a place of fear?

I am not claiming to know all the answers nor am I professing to know it all. Far from it and we are always learning and evolving. I know that the last few weeks I have been settling and grounding into what my life now is. With that has also come of me being in my head and not my heart. Sometimes we need to be there in order to realign to where we need to be. Yesterday for me was a little nudge a small reminder of what life truly means to me. It was an opportunity to reconnect me to my “why” in life. I know that connection to self and others is fundamental to our human existence. Without out we can feel lost and empty. When we truly know that we are all connected it is then that we can truly know and feel that everything we do is from a place of love. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE
Sonia

xoxox

A few months ago I had a mentoring session with an author. It was about my writing and the direction that I would like to go with that aspect of my life. It was a great session and prompted me in areas of my life that I hadn’t visited before. When you invest the time, energy and effort into the relationship that you have with yourself then it is only a natural reaction that life tends to flow with some grace and ease. Well for me it does anyway.

One of the things that did come up for me was speaking up. Funny huh! For those that know me relatively well I would daresay that they would consider me not having an issue in this area. I was only speaking to someone recently about not yelling or arguing anymore. It felt like such a foreign concept and one that my body did not respond to well. Look let’s make no mistake, I certainly haven’t been an angel in the past and yelling and pointless arguing was something that I once participated in.

Life inevitably happens. You learn lessons and understand that drama is futile. I would much prefer a conscious, courageous conversation. In saying that I am also Italian and totally own the dramatic hand gestures and arm throwing that I have been told I indulge in at times. Ok so I own all parts of me, imperfectly perfect I like to call it.

So somehow along the lines of life I had managed to create a belief pattern that when I speak my truth people leave. I hadn’t just plucked this out of nowhere; it was indeed what had happened in some past relationships\friendships. Now let’s not go down the rabbit hole of where all this came from, for that is way too dramatic. Just kidding! It is probably best to understand this pattern.

I know that as a young woman, culturally it was certainly never encouraged to speak out. It was something that wasn’t looked upon favorably and in fact “answering back” usually came with consequences. Not sure that this quite worked for dad because as a family of 6 girls we can all be pretty opinionated and outspoken. That is not to say that any of it is right or wrong but understanding where our “stuff” comes from then allows us to create a new path.

So when I identified with my mentor that this was an area that had come up from me in the past we created a new belief pattern. What this allowed me to know and truly feel that the people that are meant to be in my life will. For those that are not able to sit with me in my truth then perhaps they are not meant to. It is not about judging or finger pointing. It is about recognising and not blaming others for what resides within us. This is the true essence of freedom. For if we are not living from a place of integrity in all of our actions we are not showing up to shine our light and live love. When I speak up it is a win win for everyone involved. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xo

The perfection affirmation for not only today Valentine’s Day but every day!  Today for me is a day of celebrating love regardless of what your relationships status is. It is also a reminder for me to be love and light in all circumstances of life. I am reading a phenomenal book at the moment called Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell. It is about shining your light and being the most authentic version of you and to shine your awesome light in the world.

As I have been reading the book there are lessons that I have already examined and stopped by to have a look. What the difference is this time is that I am not the same person I may have been when I first unravelled the lesson. Life is about learning and loving. To love all the parts of self even when you may feel that there is no reason to. To stand up and show up no matter what they may feel like, for this is truly love.

Today as I sit and write my blog for the day, I also wait for some of my single mates to pick me so we can celebrate love. We are excited to celebrate, to be alive and all that we are. To celebrate each other and to know the love that we have is to witness the most authentic versions of ourselves.  The relationship that we have with ourselves is the most important relationship that we will ever have. I learn more about this each and every day. The way I feel about myself is ultimately that way the universe will respond to me and this is such a valuable lesson to learn.

Whether or not today is about celebrating with a significant other, friends, whoever or whatever it is a timely reminder to show love and be love. It is not just about today but every day. To be love and to live in your light and to come home to your true authentic self for this is when we truly shine.

For me it is the perfect reminder about the relationship that I have with myself especially when the flow of life has its ebbs and flows. We are ALL deserving of unconditional love for ourselves and each other. To be present and light in all that I do and all that I am. To know and feel that – “Whatever the question, love is the answer” [i]  Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

 

 

[i] Quote – Dr Wayne Dyer

My auntie passed away a few days ago and my thoughts and world right now is surrounded by her death. My thoughts and feelings change from hour to hour so when I read the affirmation for today I am reflecting about the way I have been feeling. That is not to say that I don’t have the right to feel sad, confused, bewildered, shocked but rather what I focus on can be different. This does not take it away from the grief as I am also comfortable sitting in my sorrow if that is what it needs to be for now. What I don’t want to focus on is her dead body for I know this is not who she is nor is it for any of us who we are.

Since I began my blog almost two years ago there are few tough situations that I have to deal with, death of such a close family member has not been one of them. What I do know is the closeness that it brings and how precious humanity is. My most profound feelings right now is just how much our bodies are just that, yet we work so bloody much on looking good, being plucked, pruned and it the end it doesn’t bloody matter anyway. What we leave is our soul and as far as I am concerned this is what requires the most attention during our lives. The body in which we travel during this lifetime requires so much love and attention from us in the most beautiful of ways and we especially should love every single aspect that it brings cellulite, stretch marks and all. So instead of thinking about seeing my aunt’s dead body and not liking the way that feels for me I can change my thoughts and be grateful for what it did for her during her 76 years of living on this earth. Furthermore it allows me to love my body even more so I am able to do what I desire with freedom and health.

Our thoughts can consume so much of our head space, so if your thoughts are shitty and dull you will only attract more of the same as this is the energy that will be attracted. I am not saying that you just turn it around and you become happy but changing focus, seeing it from another perspective creates new avenues and thoughts patterns to exist. I am never stuck, for I can always choose new thoughts and new ways of thinking. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo