12. I only own my mind – I am mine – Pearl Jam

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A friend sent me this song this morning, the lyrics resonated and I connected with it. I am not sure why she sent it. There was no message just the song. I know and feel our connection beyond distance so I know that it was something that I needed to hear. I start a new job tomorrow and I am feeling beyond nervous. I was chatting to a friend yesterday and expressed that I was starting to feel anxious about it all. She reminded me to look at it as an exciting new chapter. So when I heard and felt the song this morning I felt that it was a little reminder to really be in the moment about the new chapter that I begin tomorrow. I am not a magician and nor do I have a magic wand to switch off my thoughts but what I can achieve is awareness.

As I write my blog for the day I am jolted into a different reality. I can hear the news about the chemical war fare in Syria. I am watching people being hosed down in an attempt to wash the chemicals in which they have been attacked with.  I could go on and on about the pure injustice about the war that is happening and the suffering that our world goes through. I am not sure that it would actually achieve anything except more of the same energy that exacerbates injustice.

As the lyrics of the song indicate – I only own my mind [1]– I can only control what happens to my thoughts and words. I cannot and nor do I want to change the mind of others. That is not my job nor is it my business. I can only act in my highest integrity and come from a place of loyalty and respect in all that I do. For me the most significant reminder has been to really focus on what matters most. I can’t change the chemical warfare in Syria and nor can I do anything for the children that have been doused with chemicals. Feeling anxious or nervous about a new job now seems so irrelevant.

I am not indicating that feelings are insignificant. In fact we have to allow them to vibrate through our being. When we shove them down they eventually transpire into something, somewhere along our path. The stuff that is happening is Syria leaves me feeling broken and a little helpless about the world. There is so much that I do feel especially when I see children suffering. I feel the grief of not having my own children, I feel that no human being should ever have to be exposed to that level of suffering and I feel the injustice.

So for now I can make a choice to own my mind and thoughts. I can either spend the day in suffering about what the morning has presented with or I can create a different awareness and ensure that I am living love and peace in all that I do. I may not be able to stop the war but as the lyrics of the Pearl Jam resonate I can evoke for myself that “I was born and I know that I’ll die
the in between is mine – I am mine” – Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox

 

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVho74SDOis

5. The weaving of connection is what allows our souls to soar– Sonia Muraca

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A few weeks ago I received a message from a friend’s sister whom I have never met and lives on the other side of the world in Greece. She resonated with what I had written about and we shared and exchanged parts of our life that we may not have otherwise. There is no particular rhyme or reason as to why I write I just know that it is something that my soul yearns to do. I have had a really restless night sleep and am feeling a little disconnected to myself so I do what I know how and write. Writing always connects me back to my heart and gets me out of my monkey mind. The weaving of connection as humans it is one of the most important aspects of how we live our lives. Although I have never met my beautiful friend’s sister I feel very connected to her. We are able to share our moments of vulnerability and give each other the gift of strength and courage. Connections like these are rare and ones that I hold dear and near to my heart.

What is it about these connections that dig deep and are felt far and wide? Is it that our souls recognise each other and those we are here to teach and learn from? Or is it simply to love in a way that inspires and generates more love? I don’t do shallow and superficial well. I have been told many a time that my face and expressions indicate exactly where I am at. To be perfectly frank I am glad that this is the case because pretending doesn’t work well for me at all. I would much rather have connecting conversations with a complete stranger that leave you feeling full and inspired opposed to countless conversations about drama and toxicity.

Connection for me is what gives our life purpose. If we are not connecting to each other and most importantly ourselves then do we just exist? I am going to be 44 this year. Being in my 40’s has been the best part of my life so far. I have been able to connect to myself, nature and people in ways that I have not experienced before. It is the epitome of freedom and what my souls years for the most.  I don’t have the energy to do otherwise. When I am not in flow my energy and connection to self dissipates and I find myself in a lower vibration that does not align. I recognise that I am wearing my grumpy pants or those that love me tell me that I am. I tend not to look after myself as well as what I would like to and I can spend copious amounts of time binging on Netflix. It is not about judging any of these experiences; we can’t have one without the other. As long as we are able to recognise the differences of where we are at, then we can come to understand that we are here to experience and cherish the essence of what life is truly about. The weaving of connection is what allows our souls to soar. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

2. If you could change the world, what would it be? – Sonia Muraca

Fab Quote power to change the world

It is funny or not how life manifests. We set an intention and we have no idea how it may or may not transpire. When our soul speaks to us we can only ignore it for so long. Our cousin chose to go home almost three years ago, still that feeling of anguish sits in my being, but it can’t always live there. As a family we turned our attention outwards and organised a fundraiser in her honour. It wasn’t so much about raising money but most importantly about awareness. The money that we did raise went into a community that our cousin was connected to. Our vision was that they would be able to connect to more people. I knew at that time that there was something more that had to be done about suicide.

Ultimately we can’t stop any being from doing what is their choice. Instead what I can do is recognise that a loss of connection to self, can lead to a very dark path. Dark doesn’t have to be good or bad. It is an opportunity to find visit the depths of our souls and discover our truth. Behind the pain there are lessons to be learnt and joy to be found, if this is what we allow. For so many the pain is too deep or hurts too much and that is not for me to judge or tell you otherwise. I have been great at burying and shoving stuff down but you know what it resurfaces and generally when we least expect it.

As the fundraiser progressed so did #connecttocreatechange#. I have had some ideas swirling around for months now and after having a chat with my mentor this week I know that there is a bigger picture. I work in the area of suicide prevention and awareness and my passion about people not taking their own lives is one that I feel I am meant to do. Almost every 3 hours in Australia a precious life is lost to suicide. A figure that I still can’t quite comprehend nor do I want to. This isn’t about saving lives rather it is about creating more conscious connections with ourselves and each other.

I began writing this blog a few days ago and wasn’t sure where it was going. As I sit and finish my blog a few days later I have had a moment of clarity. For the last four or so years I have written simply because I love to write, it is also a part of who I am. It allows me to connect to my heart space and unleash what is going on in my sometimes monkey mind. I would love and invite you to be a part of #connecttocreatechange#. It is time to show up, be vulnerable and ask for your input, ideas and thoughts on how you feel change can be created. Sometimes it is the simplest of gestures that can change someones life forever. If you could change the world, what would it be?  Never underestimate the strength and power of humanity, kindness and love. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxox

17. We accept the love we think we deserve – Stephen Chbosky

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Love comes to us in various ways. For me the most important kind of love is the love and relationship that I have with myself. It hasn’t always been a great relationship but as time passes and lessons are learnt my love for self deepens to a different space and time.  I was listening to a pod cast the other day by Matt Kahn (awesome stuff by the way). He was talking about relationships, twin flames and soul mates. I was travelling back home from Brisbane to the Gold Coast on the train. I had just attended a Suicide Prevention Forum and was pondering life (as you do). It was a heavy day and one that left me feeling drained but somewhat hopeful about the difference that we all need to be making in the world. As I watched the world go his words reverberated. “At the first sign of abuse the soul contract is over”

His words jolted me out of what I was feeling and I realised how many times I had so easily accepted abuse in my life. When I speak of abuse it doesn’t necessarily mean the most obvious kinds. Abuse can come in many ways and sometimes it appears in the most subdued ways. I thought about the endless time especially in relationships when I allowed this to happen. Not the most pleasant of memories but ones that have allowed me to grow and learn. We can certainly go into drama and stories of who did what and where but I refuse to give any more of my precious air time. Instead I can reflect on the lesson of “we accept the love we think we deserve”. I am deserving of open communication, trust, loyalty, time and respect. So if that is not presented it is time for the soul contract to be over. The lesson is so clear. I can blame or I can simply know that the contract is over for my highest good.

Reflection is paramount to any given situation. I have learnt from experience to walk away and to understand what role that I had to play in any given situation. Personal responsibility is a lesson that I continue to learn. It doesn’t make what the other person did right or wrong, instead it shifts the power to enable growth and understanding. We only attract what we need to learn. So recently when I was dealt with a situation, I knew that there were aspects that I could only grow from. I could use the opportunity and allow myself growth from a place that I haven’t been before. This is where the magic truly happens.

Sometimes the lessons aren’t always obvious to begin and if we get stuck we can just go around and around in a vicious circle. Not sure about you but I have no interest in giving anyone my time and energy that is not worthy. I have learnt that hurt people, hurt people and we all have our own lives to lead. We learn at the perfect time for own evolvement and growth. It is only my responsibility to self that is important.  We accept the love we think we deserve. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxoxo

12. Being present to every moment of our lives is living in our spirituality. True spirituality is in the living of it, not the talking about it.

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I am not sure who wrote this quote. It is from a woman’s calendar that has been sitting on my desk. It is for women who “do too much”. The irony is that I glance it at from time to time but don’t absorb what is being written. Today I felt compelled to rip off the pages that had already occurred and of course there was a message that I connected to. In just over a short week I will be moving to Queensland and taking a leap of faith. I have packed up my home and am almost ready to go. Today at work I completed an official handover with clients that I have worked with and now I am tying up final loose ends.

I made a conscious decision to stay present and in the moment. Unfortunately or fortunately this hasn’t always been working for me. (insert lesson here) This morning I got myself into quite a tizz. I have expected that there would be some kind of emotional overload going on. After all I am Italian and can be quite dramatic at times. #justsaying#.  I am moving to a place where I have never lived before. Everything I know will be no longer and I am moving away from my family and friends, my support network and all I have known for such a long time. I am excited and so ready! However I have had moments of meltdown. I am not judging it rather I am just allowing that what needs to come up is being presented so it can be cleared.

This move for me has been based on what my heart feels and listening to the sounds of my soul. The sounds have resonated and the feelings have vibrated through every morsel of my being. The feeling of connectedness is one of freedom and truth.  I am being supported in every decision along the way. Life is about learning and perspective of what is presented to us. There have been challenges and that is perfectly OK. It is what I do with them that matters. I can choose to go into fear or I can rise about it and learn from what is being presented. If I am present in that exact moment, nothing else truly matters. My past is just that and has no power or energy unless I choose to give it ammunition. The choice is completely mine.  So a part of going with the flow is going with what is presented, good, bad or indifferent. We easily connect with feelings of joy. When we are presented with pain, anger or whatever we deem to be uncomfortable we try to shun it away. For me the most important lesson of this experience has been to stay present. Nothing else matters except right now. My past is a gift, simple, full stop, the end. The present is all we truly have and simply being in this moment. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxoox

10.What is your why?

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I watched the movie Collateral Beauty a few days ago. It is one of those movies that leaves you pondering and for me wiping my tears and snot from my face. There were so many profound lessons and moments that I took away, and for parts of it I am still processing the dynamics. It was about connection of life and the interpretation of time, death and love. Within it there was the collateral beauty of what it all brings and perception of what life truly means and is.

Life is so much about connection and without it out we lay dormant.  For me right now I have made a decision to relocate to another state. In just under a short month I will move to Queensland. So what is my why?  I feel like it is time to challenge myself to a place where for most of the time the skies are blue and I don’t have to wear 4 layers of clothing to feel warm. Ok so that is not the only reason. For me connection is so much more and right now at this time I am not feeling it in Melbourne. I am so blessed with an abundance of family and friends and for 42 years I have called it home but I just feel like there is more. When we truly connect to who we are and what we are here to do with this one precious life we are in flow.

Life changes and for most of the time it just is. It presents us with challenges and hurdles that we wish we could simply F*&k right off. It is what we do with these moments that ultimately shape us to the people we are and the role that we play in our world. We can either choose to feel like we have been hard done by or we can turn it around and live from a place of harmony and joy. It doesn’t mean that it will be easy for we cannot have one without the other. We would never know joy if we did not experience pain. We shy away from pain and the feelings that bring us the most discomfort because we feel like it is too hard to go there. We connect with others through our emotions and experiences.  If we are not delving into the depth of our soul, connection waivers and perhaps we are only half living.

So when I reflect on this next chapter of my life instead of analysing the crap out of what if, I simply say to myself why not? Am I fearful of the next chapter and moving to another state away from everything that I have ever known? Absoufuckinlutley! But you know what I am more afraid of not going and never knowing.  What I do know is what life has taught me so far. It has taught me to take risks, to know that life is measured by the love we give and most importantly to be of service to precious humanity. To be kind and loyal to one another, even in the moments of distaste and injustice.  Actions of destruct are never OK nor are they pleasant. What I have come to understand is that hurt people, hurt people and where there are so many disharmonies we simply must be peace. What I do know is that my why is simply to be love living and to find the beauty of all that is. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

 

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxo

7. “Let’s get lost.”

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A friend sent me this quote a few days ago and it has been on my mind since then. It got me thinking about another quote that I particularly love. “Not all who wander are lost” J. R. R. Tolkien. I have been back a few short weeks from a holiday of a lifetime with my dear dad in Italy. I have spent a whirlwind of 3 weeks connecting with my paternal family and was enveloped with an abundance of love and a treasure chest of goodness. I have landed smack bang to Melbourne’s looming winter and have not loved it. I can hear myself whinging about the cold and grey days and I don’t like it. I refuse to let the holidays “blues” settle in. So I ask myself now what?  What is it that I want to create from this one beautiful life that I have?

The largeness of life, the gift of generosity and the natural state of being in my heart seems to have dissipated somewhat.  It has been the same kind of feeling that emerges each time I return from working in Cambodia. For me Cambodia is a place where I feel totally in my heart and leading from a place of deliberate action, opposed to just being. I am not sure it is something that I can simply write in words rather it is a feeling and knowing that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be.

I attended a drumming mediation last night and it has confirmed for me very much the feeling of connection and following your heart home. It is not to say that I don’t ever feel at home in Melbourne but rather the feeling of connection and purpose in all that I do. My work climate along with the current reforms is something that I battle and I am not in flow. The inequality to those that live with mental health issues will serve a greater injustice and my energy is spent on frustration and fighting a neurotic battle that makes me feel disconnected. So when I reflect on being “lost” it is about finding a different way.  To know that there is a bigger purpose. To really and truly step into your purpose and follow your soul to where it is meant to be. In this space there are no questions, and there are no second thoughts. The mindless chatter is eradicated and the connection to self is one that the soul is able to recognise. The feeling of “home” represents being in your heart and that life is in flow.

So when I feel into “wandering” or being “lost” for me it is not about wandering around aimlessly, in fact it is quite the contrary. It is about the connection to self and others. It is about stepping up and being in alignment with what truly matters. There are no guarantees, there is no promise of tomorrow and all we have is right now. So for me it means staying in your heart and listening to the gentle whispers of your soul. For when we are truly connected magic does truly happen. Blessed be and so it is.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

HUGE LOVE

 

Sonia

xoxoxo