Forgiveness is such an act of freedom. Too often we perceive forgiveness as a sign of weakness especially when somebody has caused us an injustice of some kind.  When I write about my blog for today there are a few things that come up for me. One of them is the men that have played such significant parts in my life.  What I have discovered is that just because you are “over” a situation it doesn’t mean that you don’t still have things that you may or may not need to learn from. I am not one to get into nitty gritty details about my life and talk about what others may or may not have done. It is not my style. What I do know is that some of the actions that have been displayed by men in my life have been shitty and not very nice. Yes I take personal responsibility for this because I allowed it to continue. F*&K I spent almost 20 years of crappy relationships but I did not know any better or different. Now I do and I can practise forgiveness.

So when I was confronted by a man recently with behaviour that was untoward, I wanted to tell him what a total tosser he was. I was really pissed at the universe because I just couldn’t understand why this was being presented to me. What did I have to learn? To top it all I also learnt that a friend lied about a situation. By this stage of the week I wanted to tell the world where to go. In the midst of it all, there were bit fat egos circling my days.  I was attempting to be at peace with where I was at but I am sure if you listened closely you would have heard profanities mutterings coming from my area.

So what this is teaching me is that there is so many times in my life where people have treated in ways that I have not liked or deserved. The violin strings could come out right about now but instead I can reflect and acknowledge the times that I have not treated myself with dignity and respect. The amount of times that I allowed situations to occur again and again and now it was being presented to me in full force.

What is different this time is I am not the same person I may have been all that time ago. This time I have self-worth and respect but what I am able to acknowledge is the pain and hurt that was caused. There is nothing cool about emotional abuse, betrayal and coming from ego to make it better for the other person.  When we sustain these kinds of relationships in our lives it is because our worthiness does not exist and the only way we know is to self-destruct.

The lessons of love are ones that are stemmed from forgiveness. Ultimately if we cannot forgive ourselves for our perception of where we have not lived our truth or have been authentic then we are in the mode of self-destruct. This energy and vibration put us in a place of ego and we do not feel and live the true essence of who we are. To the energy vampires that ultimately lead me to a place of trust, compassion and forgiveness, THANK YOU but for the sake of humanity take personal responsibility and deal with your crap! To my inner self I forgive you for not having enough respect and self-love to honour the scared path that I am walking at this time. I know that if I do not forgive then I can never really fully love.  As I forgive myself, it becomes easier to forgive others. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xoxoxox