29. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed.

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Far out I have struggled to be positive during this time of grief and perfectly so. My patience is limited and I find myself not being able to comprehend everyday nuances from people. My compassion for others right now seems to diminish at any given moment. There are times when my answer to what somebody has said is “are you f*KN serious u f**kstick!” but I understand that it is my stuff. I don’t respond as his is no longer how I choose to deal with my life. That is not to say that what another person has said is not completely ridiculous. It is simply not my place to judge rather to come from a place of compassion and recognise that this is their journey. I have been able to feel that there is pain, anger, sadness and grief. Some days I want to stuff it down with wine, food and ciggies but I know that it will just be there the next day. So for now I live hour by hour day by day and honour what is going on for me.

I find that there are people and situations that at this time I cannot be around. I am learning so much through this process and for now this is a time of rest, growth, learning and really listening to what is going on for me.  What I have found is those that are happy to be by my side during this time and just be. This is the value of unconditional love and I am so grateful and blessed for the space that some are willing to hold for me.  There are some people that I have hardly heard from or others that choose not to connect at this time and that is perfectly OK as well. It is almost like an apocalypse of a clean out of what is meant to be. I am cool with that. I know that what was once was will never be and right now that feels refreshing.

I stood in my kitchen earlier and was feeling miserably blah. There was a John Farnham song on the radio “hold me in your arms”. I got goose bumps and felt emotional and gave myself a hug. I also heard the universe whisper softly “I got your back” and I know it has.  Nobody or nothing can make me feel better, what is most important is how I manage each and every day and keep perspective on what is important and on purpose for me. So I went for a run (as much as I didn’t want to), felt blessed that I saw an old work mate that gave me the best hug, did some backing and got in touch with what was real. It doesn’t mean that I will never have a shitty day. Instead it creates more determination and focus on being of service, creating change and knowing that the universe works with me when I am coming from source and not my ego. With the universe as my partner, I go from success to success. I share this harvest of good with others and we are all blessed. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

28. I am a Divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives.

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When I looked at the affirmation for today I wanted to flick it to tomorrow (and I did). The affirmation for tomorrow is about loving my job. I sat and pondered. I thought I could take the easy road, stay in my comfort zone or push myself to write today. It would be easy peasy lemon squeezy to write about loving my job because I simply do. As I sit here and think about the affirmation for today, I want to laugh sarcastically at myself and then I want to say to the universe, really??? I know that writing for me is one of the best creative outlets that I have and it grounds me to being real.

I was just speaking to my sisters a little earlier and we were speaking about my aunt and uncle that have just lost their dear daughter to suicide. It is almost coming up to three weeks now since she decided to leave our earthly realm and the sadness is overwhelming. There are times when I feel like I am gasping for air at the harsh reality that now lies before us. There are so many things that run through my head at any one given time and my emotions are all over the place. One day I want to change the world and the next I want to hide under the doona and pretend that it hasn’t happened. I am just rolling with it and honouring what it is that is going on for me.

So when I read the affirmation for today I thought about “stuff”. Sure I could have written about what I have done in the past. It would have been easy, but easy and comfort zone doesn’t get me anywhere. What I am aware of is the language that I am using. My aunt also passed away earlier this year and I caught myself saying today “what a shitty year it has already been”  In less than three months we have lost two family members but rather than saying it has been shitty I can choose to say that there has been death and sadness but so much more in between. Sure it has been tough but the focus of my intentions is what is important.

For my aunt, uncle and cousins I have no answers or saving grace for them. The pain that they now live with may be forever but I have to believe that there is a divine reason for all this happening. How do I be a divine conduit? The only answer I have is to be authentic and transparent. To always come from a place of love and compassion and to be still with them in moments when they cannot for themselves. Death has a way of allowing you to stop, breathe and really evaluate what matters most in your life. For me I know that this is an area of my life that I do appreciate and constantly review. Every day is a gift and it is how we choose to spend it that matters most in the end. Already there has been revelations in my life and what may have mattered before does no longer in the best possible way. To find gratitude for the abundance and goodness that I receive each and every day and beyond is the true blessing in life. I am divine conduit for transforming the quality of people’s lives. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

19. I release all things that no longer benefit me: objects, ideas, habits or relationships.

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It is full on to sit here and know that the first month of 2015 has already passed us by and that the 5th day of February has already arrived. This year I decided not to write every day rather when I felt that it was right for me to do. What is far more important for is to live a life coming from my heart space and coming from a place of compassion. For me it was also about releasing an expectation about something that I felt that I had to do every day. The affirmation for today has come at the perfect time as the universe truly works and weaves its magic each and every time.

The message at the beginning of February from the I Can Do It 2015 Louise Hay Calendar states “I have discovered that I am becoming more confident in my daily choices. I know that Life supports me, and I step forward feeling safe and protected”  This particular statement coincides beautifully with the affirmation for the day because the more I release what no longer serves the more confident I become with the choices that I make. Life is pretty simply but as human beings we tend to complicate with a whole heap of stuff. We like to critique and over analyse what is going on in our lives, only to leave us drained, feeling stressed and overwhelmed. It serves no purpose if we are creating drama and angst.

The last few years I certainly feel like my life has changed in ways that I am eternally grateful. The most important aspect of discovery is being of service and stepping up and stepping into my authentic self. Being my authentic self and acknowledging all parts of me not just the parts that look and feel good. I have also realised that eating humble pie does not always taste great but far out it is liberating. Taking personal responsibility and understanding that all that has been created is simply a reflection of me allows me to be more confident in what I do. In doing so I am totally safe and protected in all that I do and I know and feel this each and every day. That doesn’t mean that I am a bag of roses and that I am happy clappy 24/7. I still get annoyed and I get crabby but what I don’t do is blame. Sure somebody or something may have triggered a response but if the feeling didn’t dwell in me there would be no reaction.

So when I am confronted with a situation that no longer serves, I am able to thank whatever it is for showing me what it is that I needed to learn. I heard a conversation the other day where an elderly mother was saying to her son that she wishes that there would be no more fighting in the worlds. His response was “it is not realistic”. I judged him and my first response was “you are a tool” if we never imagine what it would feel like then of course it will never be possible. I felt so much love for the elderly mother whose vision it was for to have a world of peace. Then I sunk back into my heart space and sent the son love and compassion in the hope that one day he too will feel that there would be a world with no fighting and filled with peace. I also had to acknowledge that there was a time in me where I had limiting beliefs. Oh how sweet are the lessons of life! Sure he may be limiting to what his beliefs are but if I am calling him a tool it is because I myself have been “a tool” at some point. It is bittersweet. I release all things that no longer benefit me: objects, ideas, habits or relationships. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

 

 

 

 

Love

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

18. Everyone changes, and I allow change in everyone.

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Oh my, how things change but how bloody boring life would be if it all stayed the same. Sometimes change is forced upon us and hits us like a brick wall and we really don’t know what to do with it. There are other times when change shakes our whole world inside out and upside down. Change can cause us to be incredibly anxious and fearful. If we didn’t change it would simply be groundhog day and not sure about you but quite frankly I much prefer spontaneity and excitement to dull and dreary. There is a simple saying that I love and allows me to take responsibility for what happens in my life and it states “For things to change. First I must change” Simple but ever so true.

One of the most gracious gifts that we can deliver to ourselves is personal responsibility. When things happen in life we often look for a scape goat or a reason as to why it has occurred. Life presents us with challenges on so many levels. At times it feels like are climbing a never ending mountain only for an avalanche to occur and we are right back to where we have started. It feels like crap and we have every right to be tired and weary. What can happen in these instances is that we can simply fall into a heap at the bottom (which is totally OK) or we can rest and find the courage and strength to start again. It doesn’t mean either way that we have failed rather it reminds us that there is so much strength in our vulnerability and allowing change to happen around is simply part of the process. Sometimes the avalanche has to occur in order for us to simply stop and allow change to occur. When we don’t listen the universe certainly forces us to, which then allows time to refocus and continue on the path we are meant to travel.

Sometimes change feel like a slap in the face and it takes a while to embrace what has actually occurred. Other times the change is so fricken awesome and it welcome so many opportunities. Allowing others to change is liberating, sometimes that may mean that the path once shared is no longer but I truly believe that it is part of a divine plan that leads us to extraordinary things. I can speak with experience about this for each time I have felt betrayed or rejected by something or someone it has only been because the universe had bigger and better plans for me. I no longer choose to get up in the drama or why, where and how it all occurred. It is irrelevant. Life is too precious for that. It doesn’t mean that I do not feel but when you only come from a place of love and compassion there is no other way. Everyone changes, and I allow change in everyone. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Sonia

Xoo

14. Every moment presents a wonderful opportunity to become more of who I am.

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The now is all we have, this second this moment. Everything that happened in the past is exactly that anything that is about to happen will. So being the moment and in the now is such a precious gift to give to yourself and to those around you. Being you and the most authentic version of you is even more important. So often we walk through life being versions of what other people want us to be. We are playing the role of other identities that do not serve and ultimately we suffer in our own existence.  We sometimes make allowances or find excuses of who we think we should be.  When we “should” in our lives it compares to “shitting” on ourselves and not sure bout you but that doesn’t feel pleasant.

Life teaches us so much and each experience and moment that we have teaches us more about who we are. No matter what the experience is good or bad it allows us to show up and be who we really are. How do we know who we really are? I know for me this is something that I continue to discover and only until the separation of my last relationship did that really begin to unravel for me. To be perfectly honest I had thought that I had it all worked it out. My life was fine or as once defined to me (F*D UP INSECURE NEUROTIC EMOTIONAL MESS). It not for me to judge this time in my life and go back and do my head in about but the difference is the way I lead my life now is that I am totally comfortable with who I am. That doesn’t mean I stop learning. Actually it is quite the contrary.

Death of a family member shakes your world and turns it upside down. For me there is still so much to process and that is totally OK. For me it is also about a family that once was now has somebody missing it and life is never quite the same. That doesn’t have to make it bad. Instead what it does for me is to absolutely be me and unapologetically so. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give a rats about anybody else rather it makes me wants to grab life by the reins and live the life that we are meant to live. This means to take risks, make mistakes and love unconditionally. To remove the masks that make us comfortable, to move beyond our comfort zones and to know that being the most authentic version of you is the greatest gift that you can give yourself and to the world in which you live. Every moment presents a wonderful opportunity to become more of who I am. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

 

Sonia

Xoo