9. When I speak up it is a win win for everyone involved. – Emily Gower

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A few months ago I had a mentoring session with an author. It was about my writing and the direction that I would like to go with that aspect of my life. It was a great session and prompted me in areas of my life that I hadn’t visited before. When you invest the time, energy and effort into the relationship that you have with yourself then it is only a natural reaction that life tends to flow with some grace and ease. Well for me it does anyway.

One of the things that did come up for me was speaking up. Funny huh! For those that know me relatively well I would daresay that they would consider me not having an issue in this area. I was only speaking to someone recently about not yelling or arguing anymore. It felt like such a foreign concept and one that my body did not respond to well. Look let’s make no mistake, I certainly haven’t been an angel in the past and yelling and pointless arguing was something that I once participated in.

Life inevitably happens. You learn lessons and understand that drama is futile. I would much prefer a conscious, courageous conversation. In saying that I am also Italian and totally own the dramatic hand gestures and arm throwing that I have been told I indulge in at times. Ok so I own all parts of me, imperfectly perfect I like to call it.

So somehow along the lines of life I had managed to create a belief pattern that when I speak my truth people leave. I hadn’t just plucked this out of nowhere; it was indeed what had happened in some past relationships\friendships. Now let’s not go down the rabbit hole of where all this came from, for that is way too dramatic. Just kidding! It is probably best to understand this pattern.

I know that as a young woman, culturally it was certainly never encouraged to speak out. It was something that wasn’t looked upon favorably and in fact “answering back” usually came with consequences. Not sure that this quite worked for dad because as a family of 6 girls we can all be pretty opinionated and outspoken. That is not to say that any of it is right or wrong but understanding where our “stuff” comes from then allows us to create a new path.

So when I identified with my mentor that this was an area that had come up from me in the past we created a new belief pattern. What this allowed me to know and truly feel that the people that are meant to be in my life will. For those that are not able to sit with me in my truth then perhaps they are not meant to. It is not about judging or finger pointing. It is about recognising and not blaming others for what resides within us. This is the true essence of freedom. For if we are not living from a place of integrity in all of our actions we are not showing up to shine our light and live love. When I speak up it is a win win for everyone involved. Blessed be and so it is.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.