5. Let the beauty of what you love be what you do

20150610_103944

At the moment I am sitting at Gold Coast airport waiting for a bus to pick me up to see my soul sister. I am sure there is no coincidence that the time I have chosen to write this blog is the same day I am visiting an amazing soul is who is very near and dear to me. A soul that shines my light when I can’t see the path and who sings my song when I have forgotten the words. A love that I know is recognised and felt beyond this lifetime.

One of my most passionate times of my life is visiting and working in Cambodia. I met Emma almost three years ago after a 7 year relationship ended. I was lost, confused, shattered and really didn’t know where I was heading or what I was doing. It was day by day. We began to email as I started to make queries about a Head Heart and Hand Holiday that she was facilitating. Making the decision to go was the one of the greatest leaps I made and far out I am eternally grateful. Over 2 years later and I have travelled to Cambodia 4 times. I now co-facilitate the holidays with her and am part of the Head Heart and Hand Holiday family. We bring over groups of individuals who have a desire to be of service, follow their passion and truly connect with their heart space and what they love to do. To write what Cambodia means to be in one word would be magic.

The beauty of doing what you love for me is to be of service, especially in Cambodia. Sure I can jump on a plane a few times a year and work on local projects, build wash stations, playgrounds etc. That is the easy part! It is being of service and doing what I love each and every other day which is what matters most.  Having travelled and worked in Cambodia for the last few years has been one of the most inspiring aspects of my life. There is always more to learn, more to give and so much more to receive.

We can sometimes get caught up in grandiose plans, goals and ambitions. We forget to be still, quieten our minds and listen to our hearts. We get caught up in our minds and ego and life starts to defy us and we wonder why. Things don’t go the way we anticipate, we get caught up in drama and stories. We become distracted from who we really are and what we love.

So use this as a reminder to you, to your heart, your soul, your higher self. Are you doing what you love? Are you being the difference that you want to see in the world each and every day? Are you living with a grateful heart? These prods and pokes are not judgements rather a time of reflection and nurturing. We all swing off course from time to time; it is part of the learning. A time to dig deep, identify our shadows and embrace the wilder beast. I know mine has emerged a little of late and that is cool just for now.

For now I will be in the moment enjoy my soy latte and appreciate the treasures of goodness that surround me now (thanks universe for the eye candy) Be in gratitude for the freedom that I am so fortunate to have me and thank source for the timely reminder from Rumi. Let the beauty of what you love be what you do. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxxo

To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

regrets

When I sat down today to write my blog I hadn’t quite expected what was going to come up. Life has a funny way of revealing itself to you at the most opportune and serendipitous moments. As I read the affirmation today I can recall past conversations especially about my last relationship. I can hear myself saying “I regret convincing myself that I didn’t want to have children” when deep down I discovered I would have welcomed being a mum with open arms. I have caught myself saying “ I regret not loving myself enough to leave a relationship that was not in alignment with who I was” A lot of bloody regret right there I reckon and judging by the way my stomach is churning whilst I am writing, I am gathering it doesn’t do a whole lot for your cellular body either.

When I go into my heart space it simply makes me feel sad and justifiably so. This has been an issue that with time and healing is one that has unmistakably allowed me to grow in so many other areas of my life. What I have come to terms with is that I may not be a biological mum in this time and whatever will be simply will. In the process I love and embrace my role as Zia to my kooky, inspiring, compassionate and amazing nephews and nieces.

So for me now it is all about perception and truly not feeling regret for past decisions. Even as I type the word regret the vibration feels shitty and dull. Instead what I opt is to fully embrace the lessons and amazing experiences that I have been able to delve into because of a relationship that did not serve me.

Whether or not I am a biological mum in this lifetime is irrelevant, rather for me it is about the love that I am able to share with others is most prevalent. I have worked in child protection over my community services career. There have been plenty of children who are born to parents who simply through lack of love of self cannot love another and this is truly sad. I know now through the learning of relationships that didn’t serve me I have a lot of love to give. So how can I have regret when I have learnt to love without conditions?

Whilst this one has been a tough and sad lesson for me that I am embracing the silver lining. It is about teaching and inspiring others to fully feel into their heart space and to be in relationships where love is unconditional. For unconditional love is the purest love of all and once you have discovered that love for yourself you are only able to attract the same. To “Let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. Blessed be and so it is so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xx

 

70. In the infinity of Life where I am, all is perfect whole and complete.

10455662_580173098781032_5223699791638534808_n

In life at times it seems that we always seem to be striving to something. When “this” happens we will do “that” or when we have that house, car, whatever life will be good. We tend to work on the exterior and superficial stuff more than we do our inner selves forgetting that we are the precious asset of all. Loving self and recognising that we are imperfectly perfect can be one of the toughest lessons that I have had to learn. There are times where I still treat myself harshly but the difference these days is that I recognise it.

How do we recognise when life is whole perfect and complete. For me it is about accepting each moment as imperfectly perfect no matter what the situation or outcome. As humans we make things right and wrong, we judge, berate and condemn ourselves and others, not the most loving way to live. What I have truly learnt in this lifetime is that my world is simply a reflection of what is going on for me. So rather than blame everything else I step back, take personal responsibility and understand that the pain, grief, sadness is perfect whole and complete. What it then does is allow the situation to be transformed into a life lesson where we can grow and learn.

For the last few months life for me has been chaotic, felt stressful at times and required a sense of faith and trust that I had not quite yet explored. I didn’t sit back with a daisy chain around my head wearing a peace sign (as much as I would have loved to) instead I learnt a lot of life’s lessons. I can now reflect and get that no matter where I am it is perfect and whole. It certainly didn’t feel like it at the time because as much as I wanted to be chilled out and cool I had an stirring restlessness about not feeling “good enough”, “incapable”, “rejected” as I was not getting work in the areas that I truly desired. So instead of loving myself as much as I perhaps would have liked to, I judged and condemned. Not a great move as I spent most of the time with flat energy and no desire to be around people.  Gotta love those lessons!

So today is an awesome reminder that where I am is exactly where I am meant to be. I know the universe orchestrates its synchronicity beautifully even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. Life is infinite and we are certainly here on earth for a short time. Why we make it so hard on ourselves is something that I can never quite understand? I certainly feel that the more we learn to love ourselves and embrace ALL of who we are the easier the lessons become. Our lessons are our life’s instruments to create the music to soothe our soul. Sometimes we need a friendly shove from the universe to remind us that we are imperfectly perfect just the way we are. In the infinity of Life where I am, all is perfect, whole and complete. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE love

Sonia

xxo

67. Today I do something that is different. I am willing to move out of my comfort zone and experience life in a new way.

11696594_10153378971908607_3207969782706771516_o

Today 6 months ago our dear cousin chose to take her own life. It is a day that it etched into our lives forever.  Life doesn’t go on the way you knew it, it is different and you adapt to a new way of “normal”, whatever normal means anyway. I was feeling a little so I sat down to write. I noticed the date and realised that perhaps this was why I was feeling sensitive and allowed myself to just feel in that moment. So when I read the affirmation for today I thought of her and the lessons she continues to teach me.

For a long time I was really embarrassed and ashamed to speak about my diagnosis of Mental Illness. That was over 15 years ago. It has only been in the last few years that I have felt safe to speak about it. I didn’t want a label and It took me a long time for me to speak about it let alone admit it to anyone. There was a sense of shame and failure attached to it and it was something that I wasn’t proud of. I saw it as weak and not being “strong” enough to deal with life. What a crock of crap I had allowed myself to believe! It could not have been further from the truth. This experience in my life has truly shaped who I am and has taught me nothing but resilience and courage.

This morning I had a stern chat with “the universe” I asked very clearly and loudly to show and guide me to “how is it that I can be of service to the universe?” I know that my path and purpose is to be of service but how that is meant to be I am figuring out along the way. When I read the affirmation and thought about my cousin I know that I am meant to speak out about my cousin and my own experience of mental illness. No more hiding in the shadows.

What hits home the most about my cousin is that when I was in my deep darkness there was so many days, weeks, months where I felt that suicide would have been such a better option. So when I move out of my comfort zone today it is about speaking out about my own experiences, to know that there is a really fine line about being Ok and not. I am sure there is no coincidence that it is suicide awareness week this week and when I connect all the dots to the last few months I know that this is life purpose stuff.

There were so many times where I contemplated suicide and felt that it would have been such a “better” way. What was the difference between me and the countless others that made the choice to go that one step further? I don’t have those answers but what I do have is an experience and an amazing network of love and support that guide and love me unconditionally along the way. Today was another little push from the universe to steer me to where it is that I am meant to be.

For me it is not about “saving” people but rather a reminder that we are all a part of this amazing universe for a very short time. The importance of remaining connected, holding space and being there is what is most important. We all have our own unique journey and we can’t fix it for one another but we sure can shine our own light for one another and vice versa. I wouldn’t be where I am right now if I didn’t know and feel the love, support and commitment that my family had for me. It could have been very different had I not felt that way. My gratitude for them is eternal.

So when I refer to moving out of my comfort zone today it about speaking about my truth. Sure I have spoken about mental illness before but I know now it is time for me to be more open about the depths of darkness. It is not about the “story” rather it is to inspire and give courage for others to be in an authentic space and to feel safe to do so. May you always know that the light no matter how dim can always shine and always remember the darker the darkness the brighter the light. So from sorrow can come so much joy, trust me on that one. Today I do something that is different. I am willing to move out of my comfort zone and experience life in a new way. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Huge Love

Sonia

xoxoxox

61. Events come and go, but my love for myself is constant. I refuse criticism and judgement. Instead, I choose to understand that, in truth, all is well.

1501504_706588132786089_3171576431961616966_o Loving self is one of the most gracious gifts that we can give ourselves. We can love ourselves is various ways and for me is an area of my life that I am always learning more about. Each lesson that is presented in life ultimately is a reflection of where we are at and the universe loves to show us what it is that we have to learn. Even if it is presented in the most frustrating of ways is it all there to teach us, to take responsibility and to discover and learn more about our heart space and unconditional love. I listened to a clip by Matt Kahn the other day. Matt Kahn is an awesome spiritual teacher that I resonate with on a soul level. The clip randomly came up on Youtube and it was about addictions.  When we think about addictions sometimes the first thing that comes to mind are substances etc. What I feel this is more prevalent right now are the addictions that don’t seem so obvious. The addiction of work, the addiction of drama and chaos often gets left unnoticed or what we may consider as “normal” It is these addictions that can often debilitate our self-worth and inevitably lead us to places of not living self. So when I listened to Matt Kahn and his message of addiction I came across a specific line that was most pertinent for me. He asked “Is this the most loving thing that you can do for yourself right now?” I have reflected on this especially in the last week and I must say it has worked in the most magnificent of ways! This particular question can be used in so many aspects of life as they present on an everyday basis. I know that especially in the last few days where I have felt frustrated or annoyed in regards to a particular situation I have asked myself the very question “Is this most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Almost immediately I can feel a calmness in my body and my response is very different to what it could possibly be. Sometimes the internal dialogue that I have is far from peaceful and calm. What would have to be most pertinent about love for self is also recognising my worth. I feel that this is a huge lesson for me and one that continues to present itself. There are so many gifts that we are able to find during the times in which we perceive as being difficult or troublesome. What I am learning to embrace is the darkness as a time of nurture, rest and rejuvenation. It is important to not live in that space but to unravel the gifts and to take inspired action to live an authentic life of love filled with purpose and passion. Events come and go but my love for myself is constant. I refuse all criticism and judgement. Instead, I choose to understand that in truth, all is well. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste. With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day. With HUGE love Sonia xoxox

I trust in the Power that created me to protect me at all times and under all circumstances.

images (9)

I could not have believed this more than I do so right now. I have been doing some casual work in Child Protection in the last week. To say the least it is an environment that may not be conducive to most and at times when I have told somebody what I am doing their reply “I could not do that kind of work” Each to their own is my theory and I know for me it is not an area of my life that I could be involved in on a full time basis but for now I am enjoying the experience for what it is. What I do know in this particular scenario with two staff members and a 14yr old child I have had faith and trust that the power that created me will protect me under all circumstances. Week 1 and I have had an amazing week. Sure we can turn our heads and we can pretend that this world doesn’t exist but it’s real and it tugs at my heart strings that such a little person has had so much destruction in their life.

Today I read a Facebook status that was along the lines of “let’s bring back corporal punishment for paedophiles etc” Every person that commented agreed. My response was “Perhaps we should put effort and resources into prevention rather than reacting to the crime” Please don’t think for one minute that I condone any of that behaviour and yes I agree to punishment.  The debate for me is not necessarily about corporal punishment. Instead for me it is about that for most of us as human beings we see the other side. We easily forget that the person that has committed the crime was once a 14 yr. old child, who through not fault of their own has ended up in such circumstances.

I know it is a tough one and for those that have been affected by any such a crime it is not OK and there are no excuses but killing them won’t fix it either. The cycle of troubled and damaged childhoods needs to stop. Love, loyalty and respect for each other need to intensify to perpetual levels so we can feel the grace of goodness upon us. If this doesn’t happen we will only seek revenge instead of compassion and love for human kind.

By all means have your opinion and feel what you have to feel. This is only my perspective so take with it what you will. All I know is that I have witnessed and felt humanity, compassion, love and respect at its best in the last week, from staff that protect and care for a much damaged young person. They go to work in the face of adversity each and every day and have complete trust that they are protected. As far as I am concerned a HUGE heart, integrity and lots of love comes with that kind of trust. I trust in the power that created me to protect me at all times and under all circumstances. Blessed be and so it is. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

HUGE LOVE

Sonia

xxoo

I constantly find new ways of looking at my world. I see beauty everywhere.

11700874_10153422381158908_6655530009758903129_n

The last few days have been somewhat revealing and I love the way that the lessons unveil. I had a healing a few days ago and what came up for me was to acknowledge the way in which I felt about various things in life. It was predominantly the “stuff” that was making me feel anxious or unsettled for whatever reason. What I was doing as “stuff” was coming up for me was to dismiss and disregard the “feeling”. I would feel it come up and then tell myself “to stop being ridiculous” or to just “snap out of it” and shove it back down again. By doing this I wasn’t acknowledging what was going on for me nor was I taking the power away from the negativity. Instead I was fuelling it. What was important for me to understand and recognise was what was actually going on.

This morning I was reading a book and a paragraph stood out for me like a big fat lightbulb aha moment. The funny or not so funny thing about it is that for whatever reason I decided to bring this book away with me. It is a book that was given to me by a dear friend about a month ago and I had only managed to read a couple of pages. So as I sat this morning and kept reading from where I had left off I knew exactly why I was reading it at this exact time. It is known that your soul truly knows what it is that you require at any point in your life so I was grateful that I had chosen to bring this particular book away with me. It was the perfect message at the most opportune time. It read “You have to learn to love the negative; you have to welcome it, because when you can see it you can take the power of out if it. You can let it go.”[i]

So in less than a week I had received the same message twice from two separate sources. I know it is an important lesson for me to learn and I have caught myself in my thought patterns. So instead of dismissing what I am feeling I am learning to console myself and speak to my inner self as I would anyone who was feeling this way, gentle and loving. I have found that it pacifies the feeling and no longer has the same fear\anxiousness attached to it. What I also tell myself is the outcome of whatever it is I am feeling and how I desire it to look\feel.  I must admit I do giggle at myself when I am having internal conversations but at least I am not shoving my emotions down for them only to turn up later on. So as I reflect on the affirmation for today I can find such beauty in the negativity of my emotions as they are teaching me to love myself on another level that I have not yet known and for this I am grateful. I constantly find new ways of looking at my world. I see beauty everywhere. Blessed be and it is so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

With huge LOVE

Sonia

xoxox

 

[i] The Magicians Way by William Whitecloud

My life is joyously balanced between work and play.

20301_493019140847675_6717357973621532215_n

The irony of this affirmation is that it is like a big fat red siren is going off to tell me that there is no balance between work and play for me right now. That is not to say that I all I am doing is working rather in my down time there is not that much fun going on. The last week has been flat and a bit blah for me. I feel like my energy has been zapped and whilst my work is something that I love it is also at a crossroads.  An interesting time for me to say the least and it feels like I can completely reinvent whatever it is that I want to do. At least for most of the time this is what I want it to feel like. Instead big fat ego tends to take over and I go into worry mode. We all know what good worry does. (BIG FAT NOTHING!) It gives us a headache, does not allow up to be in the moment and worst of all we miss the miracles and beauty that life has to offer as we are so preoccupied with what might be.

So last night I decided to ground and surrender my feelings of worry and scattered thoughts over to the angels and universe. I went to a group mediation session and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. More importantly it was fun! Far out life can be so serious sometimes and I definitely need to make sure that I am taking time out for me to have fun! Funny or not is that we have to remind ourselves that we need to make sure that we have fun. Sounds ridiculous but hey no judgement going on here.

Each month the affirmation calendar that I write from has a quote for the month. For July it reads “This month I look for ways to prove to myself that I unconditionally love and appreciate who I am. Oh this is going to be fun!” There we have the theme of having fun and play come up again. It also came up in my meditation last night so I know that there is no coincidence that I have received this message twice in less than 24hrs. I am sure that the bowl of sugar in the coco pops that I just ate did not indicate that I love myself unconditionally but none the less I enjoyed every snap, crackle and pop! What this does remind me about is to be gentle and loving and to know that it is an awesome time to go over my goals, dreams and wishes. What better time than on a full moon. I have just written a letter to the universe to surrender any obstacles and challenges that are associated with the future. It I keep worrying about it then I will simply attract more worrying situations. So I am getting off the worry train and getting on the fun train! Part of loving self unconditionally is to know that although there may be times where I may feel flat, that I am as we all are imperfectly perfect. My life is joyously balanced between work and play. Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day.

Huge love

Sonia

xoxoxo

I surrender, I trust that I am divinely guided and ALWAYS provided for.

11324088_452867408213285_1473207160_n

I have been in Cambodia for almost a week now. There is something majestic about this place and the life’s lessons that it always continues to offer me. There is always more to learn and the amount of gratitude continues to overwhelm me.  For me it is not only about being of service but also a time to reflect on my own life and to recognise my next steps, my future leaps of faith.  I have found it quite funny that I am unable to locate the affirmation quotes that I usually write from. I have all my stuff in a bedroom and I know that they are here but I can’t find them Surprise Surprise, the universe is forcing me to step up and write my own.

I have decided to focus about trust and surrender in a country that is filled with some much poverty and disadvantage. The resilience that the people of Cambodia are able to muster considering their life and what little they have never ceases to amaze me. Their smiles are always so generous and their gratitude so humble. I am working on a project which is called “The Dump Project”   Some families and children literally live on the “dump”. It is here that they collect rubbish to make a living and sometimes find the only food that they are able to salvage for their families to eat. To fully comprehend what this means is unimaginable to me as there has never been a day in my life where I have not had access to food and clean water. It is such a luxury that we take for granted in our everyday lives.

So for now what I know I can do is offer my time and a whole lot of love, gratitude and compassion to build a playground for children who have not had access to one before. It sounds so trivial yet so bloody exciting to see the faces of the children as they test run the equipment. It is now my fourth visit to Cambodia and all I do know is how right it feels to be here. The sense of familiarity and knowing that where you are is exactly where you are meant to be overwhelms to a place of pure connection and divine guidance.

It has allowed me to understand that the time that I spend worrying and doing my head in about life is so futile and draining. There is so much more the world needs than my perceived meek problems. It is so minimal in comparison to what I have been witness to in just the last week, let alone what is endured here every other day. What is real are some of the villages that we do visit, women have been known to use rocks and sticks to stop their menstrual bleeding. The injustice hurts my heart. Sure there are elements that are connected to lack of money but there is so much more. If we all raised our awareness about justice and compassion peace can prevail for ALL of humanity. I surrender, I trust that I am divinely guided and ALWAYS provided for.Blessed be and so it is. So it is done. Namaste.

 

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day

With love

Sonia

xoxoxo

43. I now release all expectations, knowing that Life will always take care of me.

11132056_10153383776399305_942763191_n

Thank you for the affirmation for today universe! As I sit here on a precious autumn morning at my favourite local café I feel immense gratitude for the reminders about why life is so precious. I recognise to not get caught up in drama, especially after having received a text at 7:15am. I release all expectations especially by those by who I may have felt disappointment, resentment or bitterness. I am reminded to be compassionate and kind as much as I want to have a “dig” and respond in a way that will only create a story and drama. It doesn’t mean that I do not have to feel what is going on but it is about accepting responsibility and understanding that we are all the same and that we all have played a part to get to where we are right now. So for now I send compassion and love to the situation. I trust that when the timing is aligned the lessons will be revealed and the journey will continue whichever the way it is intended for the greater good of all involved.

What today further affirms for is to truly believe and understand that life will always take care of me. Right now I am in the midst of jobs and the next leap of faith that I am about to embark on right now is unknown. I am reminded to let go of ALL expectations that are associated with this and to trust and fully feel that the universe has totes got my back. That doesn’t mean that I just sit back and wait for it to happen. There are action steps that I am required to pursue and I need to be really clear about what it is that I desire. To trust and know that when we are living our truth and are our authentic selves then the universe will always weave its magic and lead us to where we are meant to be.

The last few weeks especially, my energy has been scattered and I have not been in the moment. I have been contemplating with some worry about where to from here. The few “redirections” that I have received have certainly tested my trust and faith in knowing that I am always taken care of and that where I am is exactly where I am meant to be. I understand that if a door hasn’t opened it is simply because it wasn’t the right one for me. My higher self understands this totally but there are times when my beloved ego comes in to play and convinces me otherwise. Ego pushes us to peel away more layers and allows us to become more vulnerable. With our vulnerability also comes our strength and courage to be the magnificent beings that we were born to be. I now release all expectations, knowing that Life will always take care of me. Blessed be and so it is, so it is done. Namaste.

With a sprinkle of fairy dust and may magic follow your day,

 

With love

Soniaxoxoox